I Found a Jar of Honey

[A nonsensical short story with a bickering couple and plenty of ridiculous moments. Complete, but currently undergoing major revisions because it has too many issues.]

While everyone else goes to work, Guan Bei stays home.

While everyone else goes out and finds a man, Guan Bei goes out and finds an alien bumblebee.

While everyone else enjoys a sweet life with their wives, Guan Bei and Guanguan make a chaotic mess of things.

Guanguan is an alien bumblebee, a chatterbox who never stops buzzing, and a hard worker who sleeps at his workstation. He brings a whole gang of friends to Guan Bei's home and forces the homebody into socializing.

Ever since he moved into Guan Bei's place,

Guan Bei's fridge hasn't been big enough, there's no room left in the bed, and he can't stay cooped up at home anymore.

He even somehow winds up with a stepson.

He hasn't dated or gotten married,

but he's already living the comfortable, happy life of a well-off family.

It's just...

"Wait, isn't this supposed to be a romantic comedy?"

Guan Bei protests as he watches their daily life nearly turn his home into an alien high-tech base.

Guanguan turns around. "What isn't right?"

Guan Bei points at the firecracker in his hand, which looks ready to explode. "What's that?"

"Oh, wedding candy firecrackers. When they go off, they'll shower the whole city with wedding candy."

"Okay, I'll wait for some candy... No, that's not the point! You're holding firecrackers. Who's getting married?"

Their friends look at the mushroom cloud rising in the distance, exchanging glances. Have those two confessed to each other yet?

"No idea. Anyway, everyone knows they're the ones whose wedding candy we're getting."

[This is the blurb for a book I'm hoping to publish, The Beautiful Legend of Achromat City. Preview available, please add it to your collection]

A popular Beta from an ordinary school and an Alpha from an elite school who loves dressing in goth fashion. A perfect encounter, a normal romance. Except the story isn't all that normal.

Ning Lang is thought by everyone to have avoidant attachment. He dodges people when they're close and runs when they're far away. Then he visits the elite school across the street, Ivos, and his "condition" gets better. He becomes more outgoing and is inseparable from Qu Zhong, a goth-style Alpha.

Everyone bets they'll break up sooner or later.

Everyone thinks they're a bad match.

Tarot readings, occultists, and online forums all vote against them.

But they don't break up, explode, or run away. With the skunk-striped hair Qu Zhong dyed for him, Ning Lang links arms with him and carries a lace-trimmed umbrella, basking in the moonlight in a city where the sun never rises. They eventually get so fed up that they move to a neighboring city. Later, they return to handle a case about an urban legend in Achromat City, only to find their classmates are still in school.

Ning Lang, now a legendary investigator, suddenly realizes that the urban legend in the reports about Achromat City is himself.

"That can't be right. Didn't I ignore everyone except Qu Zhong back then? How was I that scary?" Ning Lang opens Qu Zhong's umbrella, shielding himself from hair-thin strands falling like a curtain of rain.

Then it gets even crazier: it really is Ning Lang. Just his future self, who turns into a gloomy monster who ignores everyone after his husband dies.

"What's this about turning into a monster? It's just me hanging out with Qu Zhong in goth clothes." Ning Lang rests one hand on the steering wheel. "Then we can just turn off the sun."

With that, he slams his foot on the accelerator and heads for the black sun.

Theme: Caring for animals means caring for the future of nature