Path to Immortality, Beginning with the Life-Prolonging Lamp

The biggest problem is that the foreshadowing of this organization is not well described, and he wants to force the protagonist to join this organization, which means that the author must have arranged an important role for this organization later on. However, there are two problems here. No matter how important they are, they have not been written yet. Based on the content written so far, this organization is one of the others. In addition to a half-ghost who lives in the background, the three people who appear are Arrogant, Naughty, and Paranoid. . Such an outstanding organization and such a highly cultivated Zifu Shangji are as mentally retarded as compared to other Zifus that the protagonist has encountered before at sea. . To be honest, if you were to portray the people of the organization in the same way that M created the characters on the sea, if you met the people of the organization suppressing the evil spirits on the sea, then the whole character would be completely different. With the current description? What kind of organization? This is a group of primary school students on a spring outing. . The second problem is that there is a problem with the protagonist's reaction, or I find that the author obviously has a problem with the character's handling. Because you know the plot, you are obviously inclined to shape the character. For example, Wang Hou and his group of younger brothers, the author knows that they are about to die. The problem is that you can't portray these people just because you know that their IQ does not match their personality! The dignified Dragon Crossing the River is obviously weak in terms of both strength and intelligence, so it cannot be forced to develop by giving the character intelligence. . The protagonist also has a problem with the performance of the organization's personnel. He was cheated, threatened, and controlled by others. The protagonist's previous anger was as if it had suddenly failed. In advance, he used a mentality of looking at his teammates and his own people to express himself. His tolerance was off the charts. The problem was that he was not one of his own at that time, so the protagonist's performance was very fragmented. In general, I decided that the biggest reason why it would make people feel poisonous is that the author's character performance is inconsistent with the current plot progress.

I started scribbling as soon as it was put on the shelf First, an organization appeared out of nowhere and wanted to recruit him and gave him a token Then the organization stole his home Finally, the protagonist was exiled by the author to a new map Really, this was all a routine from 20 years ago. Is your organization called Akatsuki? Just give him a ring.

Why did it explode just before it was released? The first one said that the ghost mother was so scary, but later she just stopped pretending and just called the ghost mother if she couldn't beat it. Then why didn't she just eat soft food? The chapters in other novels are basically small highlights or climaxes of the plot. It's better for you to go straight to the big ones. In the previous chapter, you were still beating up the old man and pulling the little brother. I really didn't expect that in the next chapter, you will directly settle the chapter. I thought there were a few chapters missing. The plot of joining this shabby organization and the ghost Taoist was written in a mess🐶💩. The viewing experience was so bad that it was so tasteless that it was a pity to abandon it.

The conflict with Lin was too abrupt. If it really went so far as to kill someone and silence him, he would have written out how to humiliate the protagonist. Otherwise, he would start killing people in the teacher's sect in just a few words. This kind of character would be too bad. Also, the later reflection behind closed doors was directly threatened by mortals from the Lin family. Doesn't the protagonist have no family? The protagonist should be cultivating demons and casually sacrifice his family to heaven.

I suggest you cut the book. The plot development is the same as playing. Don't you think it's very abrupt? Is there an outline but not a sub-outline? I won't talk about you being assassinated by the Ghost Taoist around Chapter 55, but suddenly another Heavenly Palace appears in Chapter 55, which is even more hilarious. Can't you say that you went on some ghost-killing mission, and then happened to kill a disciple or servant of the Ghost Taoist, and then you were hunted down? Don't you know this kind of plot? The simplest thing, one second I was writing on the earth and looking at the stars, and the next second I was writing on the moon and looking at the earth.

The problem of having a glitch in my head every three days is not due to a serious lack of ink in my stomach. Nowadays, the quality of authors is really not good, and they want to show off their literature. Unlike in the past few years in the early years of online writing, it was like dreaming of great masters such as Shenji. It can be seen that they have read many books and works offline. There are many updates every day and the quality is good. The author, your book is really about half of the words and sentences and half of the story. If you don't have the talent of Wang Bo and Cao Zhi, you just write novels honestly. You have to use the gorgeous rhetoric of parallel prose. I guess you have been studying all the time in your mind every day, so you always get stuck and put the cart before the horse. Do you want to write "Preface to Prince Teng's Pavilion" or "Fu of Luo Shen"

It stands to reason that this is not the first time for the author to write a book, but the two plot twists from arranging the plot conflict of the Ghost Taoist before it was released to the protagonist being abducted and traveling a few chapters after it was released are too blunt, so I am really confused... Keep the book waiting for the follow-up, I hope it won't die...

To be honest, I feel that the protagonist might as well have been a ghost cultivator from the beginning. What he is practicing now feels the same as that of a ghost cultivator. His character and behavior are also a bit extreme, like a demon cultivator.

If I change the gender description of what this damn old aunt did, everyone's fists will probably become harder! The older and scary dead ghost man forcibly married a young beautiful girl and placed a curse on her to die early. The girl did not want to marry or die, so she went to Tiannan to practice alone, hoping to lift the curse and live. However, the dead ghost man often harassed the girl in her sleep, causing the girl to wake up in pain. The girl went to practice alone and met a male Taoist friend to paint pictures with her. Afterwards, the male Taoist friend who helped the girl was unlucky for a month! I want to say that the protagonist is full of desire for survival and full of resistance. Can it give people a way to survive? No one wants to be haunted by a scary dead ghost old aunt. Within a few days, she will scare people in their sleep with half a scary face. She will always remind you that you are being pinched by the neck. You can only survive if you practice quickly and don't slack off! I don't have a good impression of the dead ghost's old aunt at all. She is pathologically controlling and possessive as well as wanton and reckless. I think the term "landmine girl/yandere" is really appropriate to describe the dead ghost! If there are still people who think this dead ghost is very good, you might as well search online for the horrors of being haunted by yandere, you will have a big change

The Taoist system cannot be lost. The title of the book is not very attractive and cannot attract people who like gods, ghosts and monsters right away...