[Football] Just as I’m About to Retire, the Comeback System Goes Live

♥♥ Next up: “I Build a Nation by Playing Soccer with a Clone System” // “Come, People, Pay Your Respects to the Great King Crow!” ◆◆ After Gu Yi dies, he binds to a System. The System drops him into a parallel world as an Englishman, then disappears. Gu Yi isn’t disappointed. Using the simulated training space the System left behind, he becomes a professional soccer player. He may not be all that amazing, but he has been a first-team regular at Manchester United for almost ten years. Now he’s just turned thirty and is preparing to announce his retirement at the end of the season when the System suddenly comes online. [Ding!] [Comeback System is now online!] [Your first comeback mission: Get soccer star David Beckham to carry your bag.] [Mission difficulty: ★★★★★] [Mission reward: Injury Cure Potion] Gu Yi turns to look at Beckham, who hasn’t been promoted to the first team for long. He holds out his bag, and Beckham immediately steps forward to take it. [Mission complete?!] [Host! How did a young player who just joined the team get Beckham to carry his bag?] Gu Yi: You’ve got to be kidding me… You didn’t show up until I was about to retire, and now you’re asking me how I did it? [Ah! I sent you to the wrong time?!] Even though the System sent him to the wrong time and caused a delay, he still has to complete the missions. Otherwise, he’ll be humanely destroyed. Gu Yi grits his teeth, his face dark. “Fine, fine! Thirty is the perfect age to make a fresh start. Retirement? Not happening!” … [Your Xth comeback mission: Little Neymar got cocky after winning an Olympic gold medal. Have an intense match against him and see who can score more goals!] Gu Yi, now 54: You piece of shit System, I’ll*****! … … [A legendary veteran of the soccer world, a living fossil.] Gu Yi: I’ll say it again: Fifty is the perfect age to make a fresh start. That old geezer can become president at 78, so what’s wrong with me still playing soccer at 50? Nothing! England fans: Gu Yi, why don’t you run for prime minister instead? We’ll all vote for you! Please, stop playing soccer! I’m terrified you’ll actually die on the field! Note: His team is Manchester United. “I Build a Nation by Playing Soccer with a Clone System” ♥♥ [Please add it to your collection! Starts May 1!] Jonad gets transported to a parallel world and becomes the president of a small country. Bound to the nation’s fortunes, he also gets a clone system. Good news: In theory, he can legally own a limitless number of loyal followers in modern society. Bad news: It turns out that these followers should really be called “Deadpools who don’t swear.” At first, Jonad’s clones start an import-export business. By being “true to their word,” they finally make a little progress, and the country’s fortunes rise slightly. Then a tariff sledgehammer knocks them flat. Next, Jonad tries developing tourism, but his country has nothing special to offer. After finally attracting some tourists, all he can do is treat them to the country’s signature cuisine: KFC. Just as he’s about to go under if he can’t make money, Jonad sees a soccer star in a TV ad and gets an idea: Play soccer to earn money and support the country! * Clone Santos Jonad: A winger with a sharp nose for goal who loves to make runs and create space. Clone Movic Jonad: A defensive midfielder with maxed-out interception and physicality. Clone Kroos Jonad: A brilliant provider with elite passing and playmaking skills. Clone Mario Jonad: A forward with high soccer IQ and refined technique. “…” Kaka: My friend Santos and I work together seamlessly on the pitch, and we have wonderful conversations off it. I was going to join him at Real Madrid and keep chasing our dreams, but then he suddenly said he had to go home and fix the roads… Ibrahimovic: My little brother Movic is a good player. I was going to take him on the road with me, but he *said* he had to go home and fix the roads? What? Ronaldo: My family member Kroos is my biggest fan. He said he’d help me become the world’s top scorer, but later he said he had to go home and plant trees. Was the money I gave him not enough? Messi: My friend Mario understands me. We’re the best duo in soccer, but later he said he had to go home and plant trees. I just don’t understand why… * Fans at first: Wait, why are all you Jonad brothers always playing for rival teams? Are you going to keep playing peacemaker on the pitch? Fans later: Don’t do anything rash, Jonad! Your opponent is your own older brother (younger brother)! Fans at first: Did the Jonad family’s ancestors’ graves catch fire or something? How can one family produce so many soccer stars? Fans later: What kind of dirt does your country’s president have on all of you? Why does every single one of you want to go home and work on nation-building? Jonad himself: Send me 50 yuan and I’ll make you president. There’s always a teammate who can trick you into opening your wallet ✌️ Even Inzaghi has to bring his wallet when he goes out with me (crossed out) Single-handedly bringing peace and harmony to rival teams (not really) P.S. Lots of clones, and the overall tone is a goofy romp ♥ It might get a little morally dubious 👻 Theme: If you don’t make an effort to try, you’ll never know where your limits are.