[Football] Fortune-Telling by Trade, Football on the Side

My next stories: → The Football Comeback System Appears Just as I'm About to Retire // Building a Nation Through Football with My Clone System ◆◆ Xi Zhou, a young Daoist from an age when the spiritual arts had faded, had barely learned the basics from his master when he transmigrated. He transmigrated into the body of a foreign devil who played cuju. Xi Zhou counted on his fingers and realized that in this life, he was destined to cuju. Cuju brought him good fortune. “I'm in!” And so, one day, Inter Milan's players discovered that the French player Frank, who used to be quiet and a little dim, had suddenly become a strange, superstitious oddball. “This football and I are destined to meet.” “I should stand here to take the shot.” Inter Milan players: What a nutcase. But Inter Milan's coach, Jose Mourinho, suddenly realized he could get this formerly talented player, who couldn't understand tactics, to actually move! “If you complete the training plan I give you, we'll use this ball in the next match.” “You can play in that position if you want, but first you have to finish your training.” Xi Zhou is thrilled. Who knew you could put in effort and get something in return? I'm in! Mourinho is even more thrilled. He's finally found the football of his dreams, player! In 2010, Mourinho joined Real Madrid with one condition: Xi Zhou had to come with him. Years later, Xi Zhou, holding the Ballon d'Or, is interviewed by a reporter. “Hello, everyone. I'm a fortune teller.” “Football? That's just my side gig.” “I don't really want to answer your question. We're not fated to meet, and you'll bring me bad luck.” The reporter, paid to smear Xi Zhou: Help! Can he really tell fortunes? The Football Comeback System Appears Just as I'm About to Retire After Gu Yi dies, he is bound to a System. The System tosses him into a parallel world as an Englishman, then disappears. Gu Yi isn't discouraged. Using the simulation training space the System left behind, he becomes a football player. He may not be all that brilliant, but he still plays as a starter for Manchester United for over a decade. Now he's just turned thirty and is about to announce his retirement after the end of the season, when the System suddenly comes online. [Ding!] [The Comeback System is now online!] [Your first comeback mission: Get the football star David Beckham to carry your bag for you.] [Mission difficulty: ★★★★★] [Mission reward: Injury-Healing Potion] Gu Yi turns around and looks at Beckham, who hasn't been promoted to the first team for long. He holds out his bag, and Beckham immediately steps forward to take it. [Mission complete?!] [Host! You're a new player who's only just joined the team. How did you get Beckham to carry your bag?] Gu Yi: What the hell... You only show up when I'm about to retire, and you're asking me how I did it? [Oh! Did I send you to the wrong time?!] Even though the System sent him to the wrong time and held things up, the missions still have to be completed. Otherwise, he'll be humanely eliminated. Gu Yi grits his teeth, scowling. “Fine, fine! Thirty is the perfect age to make a run for it. Retirement? Not a chance!” [Your Xth comeback mission: Little Neymar got cocky after winning the Olympic championship. Play an intense match against him and see who can score more goals!] Gu Yi, now 54: You stupid System, I *******! [A legendary veteran of the football world, a living fossil.] Gu Yi: I'll say it again: your fifties are the perfect age to make a run for it. That old man is 78 and still became president. What's wrong with me still playing football at 50? Nothing! England fans: Gu Yi, why not run for prime minister instead? We'll all vote for you! Please, stop playing football already. I'm genuinely afraid you'll drop dead on the pitch! Theme: Success comes from talent and hard work going hand in hand