I Earn Bonuses by Reporting My Boyfriend and Doing Good Deeds Every Month

[Updates with the rankings]

1.

Yuchu Anyang was broke. Then one day, after three days of hunger brought on by her poverty, she finally crawled out of her room to find some sucker she could fleece. Instead, the sucker she chose kidnapped her and dragged her off to a remote mountain forest.

The sucker even demanded that a graduate of Dongda go back and study at a technical college.

Yuchu Anyang: ? No, seriously, is this reasonable?

Apparently, it was, because the sucker's combat ability was astonishing.

Yuchu Anyang had no choice but to change careers and become a sorcerer. Her body might have given in, but her spirit hadn't.

She still wanted to become a trillionaire, not a technical college student.

[Unlicensed Technical College Homeroom Teacher (Gojo) (Not a Teacher-Student Relationship)]:

Crack open your safe, and your heart, too. (Completed)

[Self-Employed Boss Who Doesn't Pay His Employees (Gintoki)]:

Resell your limited-edition figurines, then resell your engagement ring. (Ongoing)

[Underage Detective for Hire (Ranpo) (Both Parties Are Adults)]:

Even if I kiss you, I'll still make off with all your snacks.

[Leader of a Large-Scale Cult (Geto)]:

Embezzle your savings, then embezzle your pure-gold cage, too.

[Notorious Fugitive Who Loves Terrorism (Takasugi)]:

[Warmhearted Mafia Executive (Chuya)]:

[Unemployed Airhead on a Wanted Poster (Katsura)]:

[Water Ghost She Rescued Out of Kindness (Dazai)]:

2.

Little rich girl Yuchu Anyang had made her fortune by turning in her ex-boyfriend... no, a criminal suspect. She realized that the reward money alone probably wouldn't make her a trillionaire.

After thinking it over for three days and three nights, she finally came up with a plan.

Hey, she could turn this whole thing into an industry! Then all she'd have to do was teach classes and collect speaking fees, tuition, and textbook sales, making money for nothing. It would be a breeze!

Unfortunately, people were all shortsighted and blind. Yuchu Anyang gazed at the empty classroom before her and sighed. Clearly, no one could see the immense potential of the reporting-for-rewards industry.

Just as Yuchu Anyang thought her golden opportunity had died on the vine and was about to shut up shop, a crowd of beautiful young, middle-aged, and elderly people suddenly came rushing in, weeping and begging to enroll.

Yuchu Anyang: ?

Yuchu Anyang: ...Whatever. I'll just start the class!

It wasn't until later, when Yuchu Anyang saw that each of her beautiful students, young and old alike, had a whole bunch of rich, handsome boyfriends, that she finally realized:

They hadn't thought her golden opportunity was promising at all. They'd just assumed she was running a class on how to snag a rich man...

Young trillionaire Yuchu Anyang: ...

W-Well, that's fine too. As long as I make money.

3.

On December 31, Yuchu Anyang filled out an annual report on her busy year.

[January: Dated a Technical College homeroom teacher who called himself GTG but seemed to be teaching without a license. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[February: Dated a self-employed boss who shamelessly withheld his employees' wages. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[March: Dated a genius detective, a minor who liked to claim he was an adult. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported his employer.]

[April: Dated a religious leader who actually tried to kill me. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[May: Dated a notorious fugitive whose hobbies were Yakult, the shamisen, and terrorism. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[June: Dated a Mafia executive, a warmhearted guy who liked helping old ladies cross the street. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[July: Dated an unemployed airhead who looked exactly like his wanted-poster photo. Did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[August: Had a sudden attack of kindness and rescued a water ghost. Now he's clinging to me. No good deed goes unpunished, tch!]

[September: Found out the water ghost used to be in the Mafia. Delighted, I immediately did my good deed for the month and anonymously reported him.]

[October: Found out the schoolteacher and the religious leader were one and only best friends.]

[November: Found out the self-employed boss, the notorious fugitive, and the unemployed airhead had been childhood friends for years.]

[December: Found out the water ghost and the Mafia executive were former coworkers, and that he currently worked with the genius detective.]

She was about to pick up her pen and write down more of her accomplishments when someone knocked on the window. Yuchu Anyang looked up and saw the water ghost, freshly released from the detention center again, happily arriving with her seven ex-boyfriends.

"Miss Yuchu, long time no see! Happy New Year!"

Yuchu Anyang: ...

[December: The water ghost showed up at my door with the seven ex-boyfriends I'd anonymously reported, and cornered me.]

Yuchu Anyang: I'm done for!!!

* Yuchu Anyang is broke. Extremely, terribly, super, outrageously, incredibly, exceptionally, very, very broke!

* The people listed in the annual report are Gojo, Gintoki, Ranpo, Geto, Takasugi, Chuya, Katsura, and Dazai. All the characters are adults when the romantic plotlines begin.

* The male lead has not been decided. But if I absolutely have to fill in the form, I'll use the annual report for now.

* Please ignore the inconsistencies between Gintama and the other worlds.

[Check out my upcoming novel, Welcome to the Human Supremacist Sorcery College]

1.

Sanjo Uta was a freshman, specially admitted to college as a sports prospect. Her major was...

Hunting aliens!

Hunting aliens was really exhausting. Sanjo Uta had even developed the bad habit of taking naps whenever and wherever she could to recover her strength. Her homeroom teacher had scolded and lectured her about it many times, but Sanjo Uta couldn't have cared less.

Then one day, during military training at the start of the school year, she killed the alien in front of her once again, lay down amid its purplish-red flesh and blood, and promptly fell asleep.

But she never imagined that when she opened her eyes again, she would find the aliens that humanity had once guarded against so fiercely all over the streets! There were even several hanging off any random person!

Sanjo Uta: ...I only took a nap. Did they really reproduce that fast?

At that moment, Sanjo Uta finally understood the good intentions behind her teacher's warnings. If she'd known that napping anywhere and everywhere could have consequences like this, she would have listened and waited until she got back to the dorm. Seriously, how did these things reproduce so fast?

Sanjo Uta grabbed the slightly rusty greatsword from behind her and charged at the aliens again, just as she had before.

The next second, the onlookers screamed and scattered in every direction, their faces full of panic and terror. The police arrived at top speed and raised their guns at her. A series of stern warnings blared from their megaphone:

"We've got you surrounded! Put down your weapon! Surrender!"

Model student Sanjo Uta: ...?

Only later did Sanjo Uta learn that those twisted, deformed aliens had now been renamed curses, and had even evolved a nature that ordinary people couldn't see.

Sanjo Uta: ...?

No, seriously, you aliens are so devious! Evolving in that direction is cheating!

"I'll say it again," her newly appointed homeroom teacher, Yaga Masamichi, roared, doing his best to keep the vein at his temple from bulging again.

"They aren't aliens! They haven't changed their name. They've always been called curses!"

Sanjo Uta: "Really? I don't believe you."

2.

A firm believer in human supremacy, Sanjo Uta decided to spread her doctrine... no, her philosophy of life, to the school's faculty and students as soon as she joined her new class.

To the weird-haired classmate who enslaved aliens: The strong protect the weak. Sorcerers protect non-sorcerers.

Sanjo Uta: The world belongs to humanity! So when are you going to teach me how to enslave aliens?

To the white-haired classmate in sunglasses who opposed the accepted principles: I hate accepted principles more than anything!

Sanjo Uta: The world belongs to humanity! So when are you going to teach me absolute defense?

To the healing-type classmate who smoked and drank: Sanjo, want a drink?

Sanjo Uta: The world belongs to humanity! So when are you going to teach me the healing light?

To the serious underworld teacher giving a lecture: Sanjo, I'll say it again! Those aren't aliens, they're curses!

Sanjo Uta: The world belongs to humanity! So when are you going to let me take out the aliens in the back mountains?

Weird-haired classmate/White-haired classmate in sunglasses/Healing-type classmate/Underworld teacher: ...Why don't you try listening to people first? Could you stop repeating those same two lines every time you meet someone, like a robot?!

Sanjo Uta: The world belongs to humanity! Believe in humanity. You may not gain eternal life, but you can gain eternal peace of mind!

The healing-type classmate asked curiously, "How do you gain eternal peace of mind?"

Sanjo Uta pulled out the greatsword behind her and smiled. "Once you're dead, don't you have eternal peace of mind?"

* Protagonist Sanjo Uta is an absolute human supremacist.

* Naps anywhere and everywhere.

* The strongest in the book.

Core theme: Create wealth with your own hands.