The Imperial Colonel After Being Captured by a Tentacle Monster

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Check out my upcoming novel in my profile, biubiu: The Fox Cub Pretending to Be a Cat. Please add it to your reading list!

While Xie Xun was on an assignment, a sticky black little monster crawled toward him, gnawing on his military boot and babbling.

Xie Xun had never seen anything like it. He shot the black ball and kicked it.

Unnoticed by him, the black liquid splashed onto his trouser leg, gradually congealed, and crawled up his back. Tiny teeth rubbed against his alpha gland.

That night, Xie Xun woke to a strange sensation. Something was moving boldly in a place he couldn't talk about, while something soft and cool was being pushed into his mouth. He couldn't make a sound. All he could hear were indistinct syllables: "Colonel big brother, big brother, bro..."

Over and over, each time going deeper.

The next day, Xie Xun went to the hospital, his body feeling as if it had been run over by a car, his face full of resentment.

The doctor stared at the report in shock. Under Xie Xun's resentful gaze, he adjusted his glasses. "Colonel Xie, you're carrying a lot of... well, it should be eggs."

Xie Xun: "??!"

The doctor warned him, "You need to get them out as soon as possible, or your life could be in danger."

Xie Xun: "..."

The silence was deafening.

*

A month after Colonel Xie took leave, he returned to his unit with a handsome male alpha whose constitution and mental strength were both 3S+.

The man took Colonel Xie's surname and was called Xie Wuzhuo. Wuzhuo was strikingly handsome, well-mannered, and humble, the complete opposite of the arrogant Colonel Xie.

"Big brother, shall we pilot a mecha together?"

"Big brother, why aren't you talking again?"

"Big brother, don't replace me QAQ. I have eight tentacles. Surely one of them can satisfy... you."

Xie Xun glared at him coldly. Say another word and you're dead.

Wuzhuo's tears pattered down. They could all work at once, too. He'd just have to endure it.

The little monster wasn't a glutinous rice ball or a jellyfish. It was just a sticky mass of tentacles, living in the chaotic District 63 and feeding on corpses.

In its previous life, the colonel was on the verge of death in District 63. The little monster wanted to taste what a living person was like, so it mustered its courage and bit the colonel's boot, planning to eat its way upward.

It was hard, and tasted of dirt mixed with blood.

Bleh QAQ.

The colonel leaned against his wrecked mecha and smiled at it. For the first time in its life, the little monster blushed. Luckily, it was black.

The colonel was so handsome! Ahhhhh, it liked him so much! Screaming.jpg.

Shy and timid, it shrank back and peeked at him.

The colonel picked up pebbles and teased it.

Every day, the little monster went out to forage and bring back food to nourish the colonel. It wasn't very smart, and the colonel never liked anything it brought back.

The colonel's health grew worse and worse. Sometimes he would mistake it for a young child's toy.

Before he died, the colonel said, "Please eat me. Ah, why are you crying again? Can a monster cry until it can't breathe?"

It was crying itself to death.

In this life, it would save the colonel. The little monster crawled all the way from District 63, then flung itself at the colonel's boot.

It babbled, "Boot... thank you..."

Colonel Big Brother frowned and shot it.

Little monster QAQ.

Colonel Big Brother had never treated it like this before. The colonel was bad. It would get its revenge!!!

Short extra 1

How to appease a black ball with eight tentacles.

Lick its little tentacles, and it'll cry from pleasure.

Blurb archived on November 14, 2024

A haughty, sharp-tongued but soft-hearted alpha colonel bottom X a seemingly innocent, secretly ruthless, lovesick, crybaby tentacle monster top (a sentient liquid)

The little monster isn't an alpha. It only pretends to be one. (Wuzhuo only cries in front of Xun.)

Additional worldbuilding: Mechas aren't common enough to be seen everywhere. Technology is highly advanced, in the early stages of a fantasy future.

[Reader's Guide]

* Wuzhuo often acts pitiful and weak and cries, BUT he really isn't weak!!!

* Wuzhuo constantly calls Xun "Colonel Big Brother" and "Big Brother." This happens a lot, so please steer clear if it bothers you.

* This story gets physical before the romance starts. Things progress quickly, but the romance develops slowly.

* The early chapters are like raising a cute little one. Later, things get more dramatic. If that's not your thing, please drop it in time.

* No children are born. No one gives birth. The eggs are just something the little monster wants to lay.

* There is a secondary couple.

* Don't force labels onto the characters. If it's not for you, please stop reading.

* The worldbuilding is mostly made up.

* This couple will not split up or switch roles. No dream pairings. This is a story about a couple, so extreme kink readers may not enjoy it.

If you don't like it, just click the X. Don't let it spoil your mood ^o^/. I love both characters, and comments insulting the protagonists will be deleted.

Please add my upcoming novel to your reading list: Beta Refuses to Be a Mental Soothing Tool

Yu Huai is a beautiful omega, gentle in nature and soft-spoken.

His arranged partner, Wen Tingyu, quietly studied the omega before him, whose thin frame made him seem especially fragile: obedient, skinny, timid. The Marshal had decided on the marriage, so there was no chance of refusing.

After the wedding, Yu Huai stayed home all day, playing the role of a virtuous omega wife. He called out "Hubby" all day long, cooked meals, and, when in heat, would ask to be held and cry if he wasn't. Yu Huai gave Wen Tingyu everything he wanted, except intimacy.

Wen Tingyu fell head over heels, then ate his words, completely forgetting how much he had disliked Yu Huai and investigating his entire past.

Yu Huai was so perfectly his type that it was hard not to suspect something.

An explosion at the military research lab in District 63 sent Wen Tingyu to investigate on short notice. He happened to see Yu Huai, who had just told him he was taking a shower, hit someone in the back of the neck with a gun butt without blinking. Sensing someone nearby, Yu Huai's sniper rifle immediately grazed Wen Tingyu's face.

Wen Tingyu was injured. The kitty had two sides, and he wondered what other surprises it might bring.

"Come out now, or I'll take down the lab." Yu Huai kicked the unconscious man several meters away and weighed the sniper rifle in his hand. He thought that if he went back, the soup would be ready, and Wen Tingyu would be home too.

He looked up and saw Wen Tingyu, who had told him before coming over that he was having dinner with his mother.

Yu Huai: "..."

This is so awkward. Time to fake my death and disappear.

After a special explosion, 27% of Yu Huai's body became mechanical. A maliciously installed artificial omega gland damaged his body because of a poor connection. The damage was deemed to have left him worth less than the cost of maintaining him, so the base abandoned him at a waste disposal plant. By chance, he received a mission from the base.

Assassinate Wen Tingyu.

Yu Huai had no interest in whether anyone lived or died. He hadn't even heard of Wen Tingyu. He crushed the mechanical bird perched on his fingertip and staggered to his feet.

Wen Tingyu... He thought he might have heard that name before.

Picking up the identity the base had assigned him, he played the part of a sweet, gentle omega. Wen Tingyu seemed to fall for it.

A beautiful beta with an appetite like the sun X an alpha with overwhelming possessiveness

Also check out my historical fantasy novel: Is This Lazy Master Actually a Cultivation World's Big Shot?

Everyone knows that raising disciples is just like raising children.

If you spoil and indulge them too much, they'll turn out useless.

If you're too harsh and heartless, they'll turn out useless.

If you leave them entirely to their own devices, with no master around, they'll turn out useless too!!!

Shen Jiulin munched on a pear, deep in thought. He didn't think he needed to worry. Every disciple he had taken in came with a protagonist's destiny.

His eldest disciple, Nan Keyin, was a once-in-a-century genius at making medicine, with both talent and skill. She was also an accomplished swordswoman and the future head of the Medicine Sect.

His second disciple, Yan Yi, was the young lord of Yunya. With exceptional natural gifts, he was on course to claim a third of the cultivation world for himself.

His youngest disciple, Gu Yuan, had half-demon blood and a considerate nature. He was especially good at caring for others, and had lucked into the title of Lord of the Demon Realm.

Shen Jiulin tried to struggle against his fate and lie flat as a salted fish, telling himself to work hard now so he could enjoy his retirement later.

Oh well. He probably wouldn't live long enough for his disciples to look after him. He was already dying, so he might as well give his disciples one last hard time while he was alive. He'd make them remember him for centuries after his death, the kind of thing that would make them pry open his coffin.

*

Gu Yuan knelt through the night rain and met the master who would one day be his. The man looked young. He had heard that the master's eighteenth birthday was only a few days away.

Gu Yuan felt like he had been tricked.

In the Demon Realm, he had been everyone else's lackey. Now, in Yunya, he looked after his master like a newlywed wife, taking care of his meals and daily needs. When it was cold, he warmed his hands and wrapped him in clothes. When it rained, he held an umbrella for him. He hunted demons to earn money and buy his master roast chicken... All that was left was warming his bed.

Warming his master's bed would be much easier than hunting demons.

The master was the target of complaints from half the cultivation world. He occupied a high position in the Yunya Immortal Sect, but spent his days lying flat and doing nothing.

Gu Yuan thought to himself, What does the cultivation world have to do with the person I'm taking care of? If anyone says another word, I'll kill them.

Fortunately, his master ate when he was hungry and slept when he was tired, completely unaffected by the criticism.

Until one day, Gu Yuan discovered that his master had once been a young prodigy who appeared out of nowhere, an aloof and merciless number one on the Heavenly Rankings, a legend of the cultivation world, and a big shot among big shots.

At the same time, he also discovered that his master was dying.

He was going crazy.

A short-lived, easygoing, lazy beauty bottom X an utterly devoted puppy top

Theme: In the end, we'll glimpse the light of day and find the cracks where the wind blows through.