Cannon Fodder, But Big Brother is the Future Emperor

[A fearless, black-hearted, straightforward little lemon-dog who’s only afraid of his big brother × a proper, abstinent, powerful court official with a dark, fatherly streak]

*Everyone would later know that Young Master Yan was the treasured jewel held between the new emperor’s fangs, raised by his own hand and protected for life. No one was allowed to covet him.*

Young Master Yan was cherished like a pearl, and aside from his elder brother’s ruler, he had never known hardship.

One day, however, he dreamed he was in a book about male love, as a minor cannon-fodder character about to fall off a cliff and become a wild beast’s meal.

Young Master Yan, who dreamed of a life of luxury and a beautiful coffin after death, couldn’t accept it. He turned over and shut himself away.

After receiving a letter, Yan Song hurried back to the capital overnight.

The moment they met, Yan Dong clung to his elder brother and sobbed out his last wishes:

First, if he had to die, he wanted to die in Big Brother’s arms.

Second, his ashes should be stuffed into a pouch and carried around.

Third, they should be buried together after a hundred years.

Unexpectedly, Yan Song turned around and ground the one responsible for this scheme to dust. The ominous prophecy was broken, and Young Master Yan was alive and well again!

But he soon felt miserable all over again, because Yan Song had secretly brought a man home!

Yan Dong remembered the “domineering heir gong × scheming fox shou” on the cover of the original book and felt the sky come crashing down!!!

*

Yan Dong couldn’t stand the thought of someone taking his big brother away. Alarmed and furious, he became so distressed that he developed a strange affliction.

He began hearing a man’s panting in his dreams, as if from behind a veil, deep and indistinct, insatiable with desire, even calling his name intimately and shamelessly saying all sorts of dirty things.

Yan Dong blushed and felt his scalp prickle, but he didn’t dare complain or ask for help. He was afraid of polluting the ears of his own noble, proper, abstinent, self-disciplined, aloof, and pure as the moon big brother. So he decided to find the despicable lecher on his own, castrate him first, and bury him after!

While away from the capital on official business, Yan Song was accidentally afflicted with the love spell “Peach Blossom Dream.” When it flared up, he desperately craved intimate touch from the person he loved. Otherwise, he felt as if ants were gnawing at his heart, leaving him in unbearable pain.

There was only one cure: the pretty, spoiled little rascal at home. Fortunately, Yan Dong had also become much clingier at just the right time

On a winter morning, still sleepy, he brought over a warm towel to wipe Yan Song’s face and kept him company at breakfast. On a spring afternoon, he came yawning to the office to grind ink for him and keep him company while he worked. On an autumn evening, he fastened Yan Song’s cloak and went to meet him on his way home.

On a deep summer night, Zhao Song caught the pretty young man in a gauzy top and shorts beneath a thin quilt and smiled. “Where do you think you’re putting your hands?”

[, Bonus Scene, ]

Young Master Yan had always been lucky: his family doted on him, his friends were loyal, and whenever he got into trouble, his all-powerful elder brother would clean up after him (though he’d still get it when they got home qaq).

But in the twenty-second year of Cheng’an

“Breaking news! The Emperor is gravely ill. His Majesty has summoned the Fourth Prince, who has been raised at the Duke of Yan’s residence for years!”, The Miscellany of Yongjing

The heir of the Yan family suddenly became a prince, shocking the court. Many gossips couldn’t help looking at Young Master Yan:

“His surname changed from Yan to Zhao. The gulf between ruler and subject is insurmountable. His elder brother won’t be his elder brother anymore!” “The imperial family’s dignity must not be offended. Young Master Yan won’t even be able to call him Big Brother now. I feel so sorry for him.” “I heard the heir never married because Young Master Yan always acted up, spoiled by his favor. Now the Fourth Prince is taking a consort, and Young Master Yan will have to prepare the wedding gifts with all due respect. Sigh!” “...”

The rumors drifted away like dust, kept at a distance by the fiery glow of the clouds. The carriage stopped, and a graceful man in purple robes and a jade belt stepped down. He walked to the eaves of the dog kennel, bent down, and offered his hand to the person sitting dazed among the dogs. With a smile, he chided, “You’ve grown up, but you’ve still forgotten that you have to make your own way home in the rain?”

A few things to keep in mind. Please don’t read if these bother you:

② The gong and shou are not blood-related. This is made clear before the romance begins.

③ It’s all lighthearted sweetness in service of romance: a little childhood-friend love between brothers, the Yan family’s happy domestic life, and the boys’ chaotic antics. There’s also a career plot, but this is a brainless wish-fulfillment story. I’ve left the logic behind to enjoy it with my food.

④ The gong is ruthless and no saint. The shou is a puppy, but fiercely possessive and has yandere tendencies. He is not a pure, silly sweetheart.

⑤ The setting is a fantasy mash-up. Please don’t nitpick the details.

⑥ There are other couples too. Anyone in the story who isn’t single counts.

Coming soon: Can You Stop Getting Jealous of Yourself?

[An outwardly innocent, kindhearted but actually vengeful, greedy, and vicious black-hearted little madman shou × a split-personality eunuch gong who is a gentle, elegant white moonlight by day and a deranged, bewitchingly wicked menace by night]

[Irreverent blurb]

The night after the college entrance exams ended, Li Ji died from staying up all night gaming and was reborn in a BL novel as a cannon-fodder passerby gong.

In the eighteenth year of Chang’an, the Empress Dowager dies. The original character, who had lived in seclusion with her since childhood, is ordered back to the capital. He falls in love with the shou at first sight, only to be accused of poisoning the emperor by the jealous villain gong and unjustly die in prison not long afterward.

Li Ji: This guy’s pretty damn jealous...

A straight modern man without power, influence, or connections can’t afford to provoke ancient gay men. Better lie low. But something seems off

The shou: Ninth Cousin, I’ve got everything under control. Don’t worry. (gentle)

So

Cold protagonist gong: Ninth Brother, are you really going to fight your elder brother for him? (squints)

Hot-tempered second male lead gong: A useless prince like you thinks you can compete with me? (glares)

Dark villain gong: Little Ninth, don’t go coveting your elder brother’s man. (red-eyed)

The emperor’s gay lovers are charging in, each with their own dramatic eye effects. Li Ji lies across the man’s lap, catlike, sniffing the black jade ring on his pale fingers. Looking pitiful and helpless, he says, “Prime Minister Mei, my elder brothers are bullying me.”

By the dim candlelight, the Ninth Thousand Years, who is writing vermilion comments on memorials, lowers his Guanyin-like face and gives him a cool look. “Don’t pretend.”

Li Ji feels completely innocent. He never intended to steal a man from his elder brothers. From beginning to end, he only wanted to steal a man from his emperor father.

In the next instant, the dignified and elegant Lord Thousand Years suddenly hits some unpredictable switch in his personality. His eyes narrow and turn red as his expression changes completely. He grabs Li Ji by the chin and snarls, “You spend all day outside seducing men, then come home and expect our family to wipe your ass for you. You bratty little slut need to be taught a lesson.”

Li Ji: QAQ

[Serious blurb]

*Mei Yi is broken jade, a venomous snake, and the Guanyin of Li Ji’s dreams.*

[Bonus Scene]

A wildcat enters the cage, hides its claws, and plays the pig to eat the tiger.

Li Ji is obedient on the surface and dark-hearted underneath. He draws his blade against the wicked and kills his brothers and father without hesitation, yet the beautiful blade he lured into his arms and won over stabs straight through him.

“I have served Your Majesty with painstaking devotion, day and night without rest. Common rewards are not enough,” Mei Yi pins the new emperor to the imperial desk and guides his hand as he forces him to write an edict. “I beg for Your Majesty’s love. Make me your empress.”

Things go terribly wrong, and the “caged bird” he fattened up as a meal turns around and swallows him whole. Li Ji’s legs tremble. “Good grief, the eunuch’s thing is still alive and can still be used. That’s terrifying!”

Worse still!

The man on top of him wears peacock-feather makeup, a peacock-feather hairpin, and a red string with bells around his wrist, dressed in the bewitching style of his second personality, yet his face bears the gentle smile unique to his first personality. So: “W-who are you?”

“Right, you have more than one sweetheart. Which one am I?” The man’s high nose nuzzles Li Ji’s throat. His voice is eerie. “Guess. If you guess wrong, I’ll make you die right here.”

Li Ji: Hey, friends, do you think I’ll be the only emperor in this dynasty to get f*cked to death on the day I ascend the throne?

#MyGongHasTwoFaces #MyGongKeepsGettingJealousOfHimselfAndLosingIt #Wait, Am I a Younger Crybaby Kept Man M1? #Don’tStayUpAllNightGaming#

Interested readers are welcome to visit the author’s page!

Theme: In life, take care of what’s right in front of you.