Stop Teasing Me, I Can't Take It

Yan Qi, a newcomer with no connections, may get the lead in a certain drama. His co-star is the heartthrob Song Xueyan, whose halo reaches the heavens and whose feet have trampled countless hearts. A fallen immortal plummets into the mud, while a nobody clambers up a branch and becomes a phoenix. This is ridiculous. His fans wish they could eat Yan Qi's flesh and sleep on his skin, doing everything they can to send that aloof, elegant beauty back to heaven. Yan Qi scoffs: His fans' rose-colored glasses reach the sky, and his idol's carefully crafted image is as solid as iron. That is, until the day they first meet at the audition. The wind chimes by the window hang still and bright. Song Xueyan stands tall and graceful, with a face as clear as jade and a neck like white porcelain. A green jade bracelet rests calmly on his wrist, and the red mole beneath his lip is striking. He glances at Yan Qi, the corners of his eyes tinged with rosy clouds. Yan Qi: Stunned. * After spending day and night together on set, Yan Qi decides that Song is like the weather, warm one moment and cold the next. He switches seamlessly between a pitiful little whiner and a fighting Buddha, one minute planting a foot on Yan Qi's chest, the next kissing him with red-rimmed eyes. He dislikes physical contact with people, yet touches and holds Yan Qi, kisses and embraces him. He logs onto Weibo in the middle of the night with an alt account to lurk in their CP supertopic, and is also Yan Qi's fellow shipper. He secretly coordinates matching outfits with Yan Qi and shoots daggers at every potential rival. The dance he created for his college graduation means "Yan Qi and Xueyan." Yan Qi is used to being domineering and spoiled, and this is the first time anyone has gotten the better of him. The trouble is, he can't hit or out-argue Song. Then he finds Song Xueyan's diary, a thick volume spanning ten years, with a little swallow drawn on every page. He takes the diary to demand an explanation, but accidentally overhears a private conversation. Inside the room, Song Xueyan says each word clearly: "I want him." Yan Qi goes crazy with anger and leaps out. "If you want me, just say so! You baited me to death. Are we getting married in the afterlife or what?" [A sharp-tongued, aloof, seductive beauty who can be sweet-talking too, as the uke × A pure-hearted, puppy-like tough guy who's actually very well-behaved, as the seme] Friendly reminders: 1. Yan Qi is the seme, and Song Xueyan is the uke. This is a uke-focused story. Some parts work better from the seme's perspective because of the premise, so he's not just a background character and will have plenty of scenes. 2. This is not a serious entertainment-industry story. It's set in a fictional world, even more made-up than my own imagination. 3. None of the characters, from the leads to the extras, are based on real people. I made them up from scratch. Upcoming story: After I Messed with My Antagonist Rival The Golden Canary is a wall-bound love-and-sex novel. It's 100,000 words long. The first 200 words show the vicious antagonist seme falling in love at first sight with a frail, pitiful uke, and the last 200 show the uke stabbing the seme to death, only to be struck dead by lightning. Everything in between is about forced possession, you run and I chase, and Zhang San putting on quite a show. Pei Shuhuai picked it up for the explicit content, but when he got to the end, the two main characters hadn't even boarded the same train! The one who kept him from getting any action was a throwaway tool character with the same name as him in the original story: the seme's rival in love and the uke's second older brother. Whenever the main characters were about to get on board, this disposable character would stop them. He was practically a professional train-brake operator and a master of physical castration. Pei Shuhuai never expected to transmigrate into that character. And he never expected to wake up beside a man, take a closer look, and realize, holy crap, it was none other than the gloomy, twisted seme lead, Qi Muting! Their bodies are covered in marks of passion, but Pei Shuhuai doesn't feel a thing. Meanwhile, Qi Muting looks pale, weary, and delicate... He, he, he topped the seme lead?! His masculine pride gives him three parts delight, but Qi Muting's villainous character gives him seven parts terror. Pei Shuhuai grabs his beach shorts and tries to run, but his calf cramps and he is forced to bang his head against Qi Muting's stomach. Physically jolted awake, Qi Muting opens his eyes slowly, his expression dark. "If you like kneeling so much, you'll be on your knees from now on." The unbroadcastable scenes flash through Pei Shuhuai's mind. He trembles. "Don't do anything reckless! We've moved from the flower market to the grass market!" * In his previous life, Qi Muting died because of his obsession. He was stabbed to death, but he was the one who handed over the knife. He never expected Heaven to give him no peace and let him live again. He never expected to sleep with the pathetic rival he'd never managed to kill, or to drive him to his knees, banging his head on the ground and begging for mercy. Qi Muting arrives to hand over a check, haughty and cold. Housekeeper Pei: "Mr. Qi, the second young master can't see you." Qi Muting: "Is he afraid?" Housekeeper Pei: "No. The second and third young masters eloped abroad." Qi Muting: "?" [A gloomy, unhinged villainous tycoon seme × A goofy uke with one new way to court death every day] Theme: Stay true to your original aspirations to see things through to the end.