After Deliberately Calling My Crush 'Hubby'

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[Coming soon: Please add my next novel, I Could Never Grovel for a Pretty Sugar Daddy, to your reading list~ Please follow my author page too~ 🥰]

Jiang Ran has a face so beautiful it’s impossible to forget, and his jaw-dropping artistic skill has earned him the title “living miracle” in the art community. He’s got money and plenty of free time, yet he’s still never dated anyone.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to. First, his social circle is tiny. Second, he’s a total pretty-face enthusiast. And third, he has crippling social anxiety.

Until one day, Jiang Ran went to a newly opened, trendy café looking for inspiration and fell in love at first sight with a cold, handsome man.

The guy had a face so stunning it was practically an affront to humanity. He coolly but politely helped Jiang Ran, whose social anxiety had just gone into overdrive, out of a jam. His sleeves were casually rolled up, showing off the smooth, solid lines of his forearms. He was practically the perfect match for all of Jiang Ran’s fantasies about a chaste, dominant top!

With his preferences hit right in the sweet spot, Jiang Ran blushed and summoned the greatest courage of his life to ask for the guy’s contact information. But having never dated before, he had no idea how to flirt, so he asked his childhood friend for help.

His friend: You’re asking how to make online dating work?

Afraid Jiang Ran might fall for the wrong guy, his friend pressed him for details: Who is he? Got a photo? How long have you known him? What’s he like?

Jiang Ran replied shyly: We just met. No photo, but he’s really good-looking. What’s he like…? He has big hands, a tall nose, and he’s a head and a half taller than me. I’d say he’s pretty well-endowed.

His friend: That’s not what I meant by “what’s he like”… Never mind. = =

If even a pretty-face enthusiast like Jiang Ran thought the guy was handsome, dating him couldn’t possibly be a bad deal. So his friend came up with a plan.

His friend: You good-looking guys have it easy with online dating, don’t you?

His friend: Just be a little sweeter, call him something cute, flirt with him now and then, and say a few suggestive things. And act a little coy sometimes. Casually send him some sexy photos, like a shot of your collarbones with a “It’s so hot” caption. Or wear shorts and show him a mosquito bite on your thigh. Or go swimming and send him a mirror selfie in your swimsuit.

Jiang Ran was surprised: Huh? That’s so embarrassing…

His friend: What’s embarrassing about it? Isn’t that how online dating works?

Jiang Ran: Never mind. I’ll just call him “husband.”

His friend: ??❓

His friend couldn’t understand how someone with social anxiety had come up with such a mortifying plan. When he asked, he learned that Jiang Ran had looked up online guides on how to win over your crush through online dating. The guide claimed that if you called your crush “husband” every day, eventually he’d start thinking he really was your husband. It also said the method was simple and effective, and helped socially anxious people avoid the awkward “defining the relationship” conversation.

His friend: …You’ll learn your lesson once he blocks you.

Jiang Ran was so smitten with his crush that he couldn’t eat or sleep, and threw caution to the wind.

Some time later, Jiang Ran reported back: He hasn’t blocked me, but he really doesn’t seem too happy about it.

A while after that, Jiang Ran: He doesn’t seem to contradict me anymore.

And a while after that, Jiang Ran: I think he’s starting to go along with it.

Jiang Ran got more and more carried away. He called him “husband,” and even showed him his collarbones and took pictures of his thighs.

Later, Jiang Ran stopped reporting back, but his friend got curious and came to ask: So, how are things with your crush-husband?

Jiang Ran lay on the bed, rubbing his sore lower back, and wailed in reply: I’ve learned my lesson. Please let me go. T T

Lu Xu recently met someone.

The guy had an ethereal, innocent-looking face. Seeing him at a loss when he ran into trouble made even Lu Xu, usually so cold and indifferent, step in to help him out. Somehow, he even gave him his contact information.

But online, the guy had no manners at all. The first thing he did was call Lu Xu “husband.”

Lu Xu wasn’t gay, and he didn’t like guys who threw themselves at other men so casually, so he decided to ignore him.

But the guy was far too friendly and talked so much that Lu Xu couldn’t find a chance to turn him down. All day long, it was:

“Husband, I smelled this amazing perfume today. I think it would really suit you!”

“Husband, are you done with work?”

“You’re still working this late? You’ve worked so hard, husband. Are you hungry? Should I order you some food?”

Lu Xu: “…”

Later on

Lu Xu shamelessly texted him: “Baby, why aren’t you showing your husband your legs today?”

#Being straight and having a male wife shouldn’t be mutually exclusive, right?#

#He keeps calling me husband all day long. One good fucking and he’ll learn his lesson.#

1. A taciturn, secretly smug top who won’t say what he’s thinking × a seemingly coy but actually adorably clueless, straightforward bottom. Both are virgins, happy ending.

2. “Crush” means someone you’re infatuated with or secretly in love with.

3. “Just call your crush husband” really is an online dating tip. That’s where I got the inspiration, but please think twice before trying it qaq

4. There’s a reason the bottom turned out the way he did. He has a slight psychological issue, but he’ll grow over the course of the story. I hope you’ll be gentle with him~

[Blurb dated June 23, 2024]

Please add my upcoming novel, I Could Never Grovel for a Pretty Sugar Daddy, to your reading list~

[Forward, obsessive stalker · rich and handsome × incredibly entitled · poor but beautiful]

Cheng Zhiyu is a bookish guy who thinks he’s destined for greatness.

He left a poor, remote village to attend one of the country’s top universities, becoming the golden child who’d made it out of his county town. Everyone envied his blind mother for having such a good son, someone who’d make sure she could enjoy a comfortable life in the future.

The very first second Cheng Zhiyu set foot in City A, he made up his mind: he would work hard to buy a home in this outrageously expensive city, rise above the rest, marry a rich and beautiful woman, and bring his whole family over to enjoy the good life.

On his first day at university, everyone said Cheng Zhiyu had hit the jackpot.

His roommate was actually the son of City A’s richest man. Sure, he was a little moody, but that was just a common affliction of the born-and-bred elite. Cheng Zhiyu only had to put up with him, and his future would be limitless.

When Cheng Zhiyu heard that one of his meals cost as much as his family spent in a whole year, he rolled his eyes and scoffed, “I hate trust-fund kids who live off their families. What’s so great about spoiled rich brats? I’m definitely not becoming friends with him!”

His classmates exchanged glances, not daring to respond.

But after witnessing Gao Xingchuan’s staggering wealth firsthand, Cheng Zhiyu wavered.

His eyes widened. Money was one thing, but connections really were a scarce resource. More friends meant more opportunities. If he became friends with Gao Xingchuan, wouldn’t that save him twenty years of hard work?

And so he smoothly changed his mind: he was going to be friends with Gao Xingchuan!

But he wasn’t going to fawn over him, nor did he think he was beneath him. After all, he firmly believed he was destined for greatness. And besides… he was so good-looking. How could Gao Xingchuan possibly turn him down?

In other people’s eyes, Gao Xingchuan was one of the fortunate few, and everything he wanted was easily within reach.

Yet he had a problem that had tormented him for a long time: he suffered from skin hunger, along with severe mysophobia.

Gao Xingchuan was at his wits’ end.

Day and night, he was tormented by an emptiness that gnawed at him like a thousand ants. The smell of strangers made him nauseous, and when his condition flared up, he became emotionally unstable.

On the first day of school, he saw his country-bumpkin roommate dump a dirty, bulky old bag on his bed. His expression darkened. He strode forward, grabbed the bumpkin by the collar, and could barely contain his fury.

The bumpkin turned around in confusion, revealing a fair, delicate, beautiful face. His shabby clothes did nothing to diminish his looks. Instead, they somehow gave him an unusual air of innocence that made Gao Xingchuan’s heart itch.

Gao Xingchuan had no idea what brand of laundry detergent the bumpkin used, but he smelled so good it was intoxicating. Gao Xingchuan’s eyes reddened in an instant.

With Gao Xingchuan gripping his collar, Cheng Zhiyu looked at him in confusion and said gently, “Hi. I made your bed for you, so there’s no need to thank me.”

He wondered to himself why people from the city had such strange ways of saying hello.

Gao Xingchuan gritted his teeth, frozen in place.

Deep down, Gao Xingchuan looked down on this country bumpkin who thought so highly of himself. But to his despair, he discovered that Cheng Zhiyu was the only person whose closeness he could stand.

Whenever Cheng Zhiyu appeared, Gao Xingchuan’s gaze would instinctively cling to him, almost in a daze.

Even the skin the bumpkin unwittingly exposed made him want to lick it and see how it tasted.

Gao Xingchuan held back with all his might. His pride wouldn’t let him lick a vain country bumpkin like that.

But the bumpkin was always right there in front of him, driving him crazy. When his condition flared up, Gao Xingchuan’s pride crumbled to dust.

Cheng Zhiyu invited him to the cafeteria for a ten-yuan all-you-can-pick meal. Gao Xingchuan gritted his teeth and ate it.

Then he treated Cheng Zhiyu to an extravagant meal in return.

Cheng Zhiyu wore bargain-bin old-man underwear, three pairs for ten yuan, but he gritted his teeth and bought Gao Xingchuan a twenty-yuan street-stall knockoff as a birthday present.

Gao Xingchuan’s temple throbbed as he said thank you, then turned around and bought Cheng Zhiyu a whole store’s worth of designer clothes.

The little country bumpkin had an incredibly high sense of entitlement. He happily accepted anything Gao Xingchuan gave him, taking his generosity for granted.

Gao Xingchuan was so angry he laughed.

The bumpkin was so clueless, he believed everything Gao Xingchuan told him.

Gao Xingchuan paid him to cuddle and hug him, easing his skin hunger, and Cheng Zhiyu even thanked him for it.

Cheng Zhiyu was spoiled until he grew more and more beautiful. He excelled in school and wore expensive clothes. Before long, he’d become the CEO of a publicly traded company, and marrying a rich, beautiful woman was just around the corner.

…Wait. Something felt off to Cheng Zhiyu. “Bro, why are you in my bed?”

Gao Xingchuan held him and soothed him. “I’m a little cold.”

Cheng Zhiyu replied, “Oh,” then asked a little later, “Bro, why are you taking off my clothes and touching me?”

Gao Xingchuan answered calmly, “That’s how we do things in the city, baby.”

Cheng Zhiyu blushed and fell silent. After a while, a soft sob came from him. “Wait… Bro, how did you get inside me???”

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Cheng Zhiyu really did become a great success and give his family a good life.

But… why was he the rich, beautiful bride who got married?!

Reading guide:

① Both are virgins.

② The bottom isn’t really a gold digger. He just feels so entitled that he thinks he deserves everything he gets. (Hands on hips.)

③ The top is quite a character too. At first, he can’t stand how shabby his future husband is, but he gets desperate when he’s not allowed to lick him.

④ The bottom is simple and naturally clueless. He thinks any cuddling that’s out of the ordinary is just a trendy city custom, and he’s very straightforward.

⑤ Two absolute oddballs fall in love. They have plenty of flaws, but they’re made for each other (?)

Theme: Fortune favors the bold.