The Matchmaker Goes on a Killing Spree in the Infinite Game

Don't look at this embarrassing old work, please! It's a huge pit, just a writing exercise. Don't read it, it'll hurt your eyes. Repeat the incantation: Don't read, don't read, don't read. Scroll away, scroll away, scroll away! Please don't buy it! Seriously!

Check out my upcoming novel: The Miaojiang Youth Refuses to Grow Old

How can an utterly ordinary college student, who also happens to be a genuine omega, survive after transmigrating into an infinite-flow world? Obviously, by clinging to powerful people and sucking up to them, providing a full-service package of flattery and bootlicking.

What? Coins from livestream viewers can increase a player's survival points???

Then what are you waiting for? Of course... drop to your knees and beg the dungeon boss to leave your corpse in one piece.

When Su Yi discovered that the dungeon bosses in the infinite-flow world were tangled up in serious relationship drama, his eyes lit up. The next day, he put up a sign: Specializing in divorce cases, endless breakups, getting back together, daily bickering, and matchmaking for singles. Make your husband or wife unable to forget you.

Viewers: ...Is there something wrong with him?

The next day, his sign actually attracted a customer. The Spider Lady, with four pairs of eyes, asked him tearfully, "I've fallen hopelessly in love with a black cat. Its fur is so smooth, its skin so tender, and its flavor so sweet... But it never pays attention to me. It even hates me. How can I win its heart?"

Su Yi: "Play tricks on it, tie it up, eat it. Then its flesh and soul will be with you forever."

Viewers: ???

This matchmaking seems a little off, doesn't it?

To everyone's surprise, the Spider Lady nodded. That very afternoon, she sent over a bloody cat's leg with a note: Thank you for your suggestion. I would be delighted to share my beloved with you.

Viewers: ...6

It was another sunny day. Su Yi hummed to himself as he sat in his courtyard with his eyes closed, relaxing.

A shadow fell over him. The visitor wore a stiff zombie costume and was quite the dashing figure. The pheromones of a top-ranked alpha swept over Su Yi. Covering his nose, he smoothly offered, "Eighty percent off for getting back together, half price for matchmaking."

He tilted his head. "Which would you like?"

The zombie-costumed man spoke slowly. "You."

Su Yi: ???

He cleared his throat. "I sell my talents, not my body. Please take note."

The zombie-costumed man: "I'll sell mine."

Su Yi: "..."

This book is also known as: Why Don't You Just Kill Me Instead?

A high-IQ, dangerously unhinged protagonist who just wants to lie flat and do nothing x a sharp-tongued, incredibly strong master of flirtation

Check out my upcoming novel: The Miaojiang Youth Refuses to Grow Old

Su He was once the young lord of Miaojiang. For refusing to obey, he was tied to a pillar of shame and burned alive.

Amid the leaping flames, he laughed without restraint.

"Don't forget, I'm the young lord. The Gu I planted in you cannot be undone."

The flames spread to his heart. His last words scattered into the wind, light and faint.

"Just right. Exactly three hundred years. I've lived long enough."

By the end, not a single person in the village survived.

Su He was no saint. Naturally, he took them all down with him.

But Su He failed to die. He shut his eyes, then opened them to find himself a meek top student, bullied by everyone.

He had the appearance of a cool, aloof beauty and seemed high above everyone else, but anyone could come along and kick him around.

First, he attended an elite school, while his family had only recently struck it rich. The idle rich kids couldn't stand these cats and dogs wrapped in the trappings of wealth, whose blood was still poor at heart.

Second, he never fought back, as if he accepted their behavior, which only made the spoiled brats go further and further.

But after Su He transmigrated into this body, everything changed.

After several rats were stuffed into his desk, two days later Su He cornered the culprit at the school gates and held out his hand, asking for an address. "Where did you buy your rats? My little Hei likes eating them."

When he was cornered in an alley, Su He moved a finger and took off his jacket. The next day, his heroic record of taking on six people alone spread through the whole school, even eclipsing the school bully Xie Qian's reputation for taking on three.

When the rich kids sneaked into Su He's dorm room to tamper with his bed, hoping to surprise him, they unexpectedly heard a hissing sound. Something rustled beneath the bed, as if a reptile were slithering around up there.

Only when a hand touched something slippery...

After that, nobody dared mess with Su He again.

He had become the school's new legendary bully.

When Xie Qian first heard about Su He's reputation, he didn't think much of him. But from the moment he saw him, he began paying more and more attention to Su He.

The more he looked, the more he wondered how someone could be so good-looking!

He looked good with his eyes narrowed, he looked good asleep, and even the way he poured water looked good... When Xie Qian came to his senses, he jolted. Damn, was he losing his mind?

One day, Su He was cornered by Xie Qian in the equipment room. The latter confessed to him using a highly venomous spider, supposedly imported from Africa, that he had hidden away as a gift.

"Think about being my boyfriend. Once you accept this, you're mine."

Su He watched Xie Qian's fingers tremble as he picked up the glass container. He refused to lower his head, his gaze haughty and dismissive. He was clearly terrified, yet still insisted on holding the thing out to Su He. It was simply... adorably stupid.

After taking it, Su He neither agreed nor refused. He looked Xie Qian up and down and said, "If you want to be my boyfriend, you need to be physically strong first."

Xie Qian, who hadn't done any exercise for three months straight: !!!

Only later did he learn that by physically strong, Su He meant... immune to every poison...

A gloomy, sickly beauty from Miaojiang x a cheeky, cool school bully with a sharp tongue

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