My Sister Sent Me to Kiss You

[Complete] A sweet little treat, just two yuan for the full story. Weibo: @Lu Wang Jiang

[Next up: Strong x Strong fantasy, "A Guide to Faking Your Death as a Black Lotus." Please add it to your collection.]

Shuyu had spent years laying plans in the mortal realm to slay demons. Then, in a single day, the Immortal Domain set a trap for her, leaving countless dead and wounded.

Reborn, she had lost all her cultivation. The Immortal Alliance cut off her support and sneered, "Immortal Minghua, all you have left now is that pretty face."

Shuyu glanced in the mirror and wasn't bothered.

At least she still had a pretty face.

-

The people of the Immortal Alliance waited to laugh at Cen Shuyu, but instead received one report after another that the demon had been killed.

In its first life, it possessed the young emperor, the supreme ruler of the realm, only to be slain by a notorious playboy in the capital. They heard that the playboy had skipped the imperial banquet and ridden a thousand miles to escort his wife beyond the pass, just because a crescent moon over the mountains was embroidered on her sleeve. The demon had said, "I'll make your wife my consort."

In its second life, it possessed a renowned physician, only to be slain by a aloof Daoist who wanted nothing to do with the world. They heard that, to prove his Dao companion's innocence, the Daoist had willingly let them lock his pipa bones and endured the onslaught of myriad demons, while blood stained the tower. The demon, however, had forced its way into his Dao companion's bed and kept them there all night.

The people of the Immortal Alliance were stunned.

Of all the people to provoke, why pick a love-struck lunatic this deranged?

-

Shuyu felt a little guilty toward the husbands in the mortal realm who had loved her so passionately, but not much. After all, she was a seasoned expert at faking her death. The mortal world was a play, and people always forgot.

One day, after her merits were complete, she returned to the Ninth Heaven, only to arrive in the middle of an immortal uprising.

The hypocrites came at her in force, an intimidating sight, but one person and one sword swept them away with ease.

As the golden gates tottered, Shuyu stood behind him. The sword qi filling the sky seemed to strike friend and foe alike, like a fit of rage. She couldn't help saying,

"Immortal friend, anger is bad for your health."

He whipped around. His handsome, refined eyes were slightly red.

"Cen Shuyu, don't think I'll shed another tear for you."

-

Xiao Jiany un's sword intent was praised throughout the Three Realms, yet he could never reach the peak. A passing female immortal remarked, "Without an obsession, you've still got a long way to go."

Xiao Jiany un: What the hell would you know?

To track her down and argue the point, he chased her from the heavens to the mortal world.

Through life, death, and reincarnation, he was always a step too late, forced to witness her death and feel his heart torn apart.

When he finally returned to the Ninth Heaven, he found a living, breathing Cen Shuyu surrounded by a crowd of wicked immortals.

"Immortal Minghua, the firmament is shattered and foul qi is flowing backward. To save all living beings, surely it isn't too much to borrow your primordial spirit to patch the sky?"

At that moment, his sword roared through the nine heavens. Xiao Jiany un thought, This must be what they mean by obsession.

After all, you only get to lose your wife three times.

#No matter how many times we reincarnate, I will always be at your feet.

#A teary-eyed simp is the best dowry a man can bring!

#How come you remember nothing, while I remember everything?

Career-focused, magnetic, scheming black lotus VS a wildly unhinged, powerful, love-struck bad boy

--Blurb ends--

Zhou Saisai is obsessed with showing off her big brother.

When she was four, she said, "My brother is Sun Wukong's disciple!" Zhou Xianqing was forced to learn the entire monkey staff routine.

When she was five, she said, "My brother dares to catch cockroaches from the south!" Zhou Xianqing was forced to master the art of killing cockroaches with a slipper.

When she was six, Zhou Saisai shouted, "My brother dares to eat shit!"

Zhou Xianqing was horrified. "I absolutely do not!!!"

Zhou Saisai: "Then... my brother dares to kiss Shen Hebai!"

Zhou Xianqing: "?"

-

There's an urban legend in the Jinghua District about a guy named Shen Hebai. They say he has a hideous, blue-faced, fanged appearance and eats kids who skip class. Ningcheng's elementary school students all tremble at the mention of his name.

But to Zhou Xianqing, Shen Hebai is just a small-town exam ace lodging at his house. He's pretty good-looking, but his routine is painfully rigid, from eight in the morning to ten at night. It drives the nocturnal Young Master Zhou up the wall, and he curses Shen Hebai in his head more than twenty times a day.

He and Shen Hebai are like fire and water, and kissing him would be about as hard as eating shit.

But over the years, Zhou Saisai has never lost a single round of bragging about her brother, whether it was his looks or his character!

So Zhou Xianqing takes the plunge.

"Give me one kiss, and I'll cover your allowance for a month. How about it?"

Shen Hebai is out jogging. His expression is relaxed and his breathing steady as he speaks. "No need. Just turn the lights out at ten."

"That early?" Young Master Zhou bristles at once. "Are you trying to kill me?"

Shen Hebai stops and gives him a leisurely glance. "Doesn't seem like you really want to kiss me, anyway."

"..."

Sharp-tongued overachiever VS the landlord's silly son

From campus to the city, a collection of lighthearted everyday moments.

Screenshot dated 2023-01-23, third edition dated 2023-07-05

The "my brother dares to eat shit" gag comes from an online video.

※ Please add my upcoming entertainment-industry danmei novel, "The Unspoken Rules," to your collection.

Ye Kairan has been reborn.

At a party, an old flame offers him a drink and says earnestly, "Don't accept collaborations too easily. It'll lower your value."

Just five minutes earlier, that person had kissed a young idol. In the future, he would take all of Ye Kairan's work and assets, then drive his career to rock bottom while Ye was voiceless, leaving him depressed and dead.

Ye Kairan smiles and pushes away his old flame's glass.

-

The youngest top-tier star in the singing world, Ye Kairan, suddenly lost his voice after breaking up with his boyfriend. His love life and career both fell apart. Everyone lamented his misfortune and wondered what he would do next.

Two months later, he joined the production of acclaimed director Shen Qingzhe, causing an uproar.

"A singer just up and decides to become an actor? He might as well dance on Director Shen's grave!"

"Everyone knows Director Shen cracks down on nepotism and unspoken rules."

"Help, I'm waiting for Director Shen to post ten thousand sarcastic Weibo updates."

"Ye Kairan's going to get chewed out by Shen Qingzhe. Trending topic incoming!"

Instead, the trending topics were:

#Ye Kairan and Shen Qingzhe leave a hotel together, with Shen's arm around his waist as he helps him into a van.

#Shen Qingzhe photographed whispering intimately with Ye Kairan backstage at a concert.

#Ye Kairan joins a reality show, and Shen Qingzhe goes from guest appearance to regular cast member, gazing at him with a smile the whole time.

Everyone trembled. "Director Shen never uses unspoken rules... so what's going on here?"

A hater sneered, "The movie's going to flop, so they're pretending to be a couple to drum up hype. Disgusting!"

Ye Kairan coolly fired back:

"Director Shen was just borrowing my jacket pocket to put his keys in."

"My in-ear monitor was crooked, so he was helping me adjust it."

"He wasn't wearing his contacts that day. He was spacing out, looking for the camera, fixing his hair in the reflection of the fridge door. In short, he wasn't looking at me, thanks."

"I refuse to use romance for publicity. There's no way I'm pretending to be in love with him."

The following year, Ye Kairan won Best Supporting Actor, Shen Qingzhe took home Best Director, and their film broke box office records.

As the haters went quiet, Shen Qingzhe reposted his old Weibo posts one by one, dripping with sarcasm: "Why pretend to be a couple? We just come right out of the closet."

Ye Kairan liked the post.

The CP fans: Holy crap, it's a holiday!

-

Shen Qingzhe had smoothly transitioned from being a three-time acting award winner to directing, and his career was dazzling. No one knew that he kept a "muse" in his heart.

When he heard that his "muse" liked some mediocre traffic star, he sneered, "How can someone so great be so blind?" Then he blocked him and never brought him up again.

One day, after returning from vacation, he found his "muse" standing outside his room, two buttons of his collar casually undone. The man handed him a resume and smiled. "Director Shen, is there a chance we could work together?"

Shen Qingzhe stared at the man's exquisite collarbones for two seconds. With no idea where the script was even going, he calmly answered, "Sure. I happen to have a role that's right for you."

#Every unspoken feeling I have for you is an unspoken rule.

Arrogant, sharp-tongued X calculating flirt

Theme: Wealth can't corrupt me, poverty can't sway me