[The Lost Tomb] I Want to Date, But Everyone Keeps Trying to Become My Sworn Brother

Inspired by My Sworn Brother in the Dating Game

Mainly based on The Grave Robbers' Chronicles.

Qian Huanli transmigrated and accidentally ate the only complete, naturally grown elixir of immortality, surviving through the long river of time.

Once he confirmed that this world was The Grave Robbers' Chronicles, he wasted no time in going to find Zhang Qiling at just the right moment, and spent more than forty years with him.

People say that when you spend enough time together, feelings are bound to develop. The same was true for Qian Huanli.

At first, he really did think of Xiaoge as a brother, but as time went by, those feelings somehow changed. He seemed to have fallen for Zhang Qiling.

But that was only natural, wasn't it? After spending so long with this man, who could help falling for him? He was the brilliant white moonlight atop the Kunlun Snow Mountains.

Even if they were both men.

Unfortunately, before he could confess, Xiaoge, badly injured during a tomb raid, gave him the brother card: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here. ... Truthfully, I hope we can be brothers for the rest of our lives." (A lot of content has been omitted from the ellipsis.)

Well, that went nicely. Xiaoge had probably rarely opened his heart with such a long speech, but Qian Huanli's feelings naturally died right then and there.

So he decisively nipped that tiny spark in the bud and devoted himself to becoming brothers whose bond was stronger than gold.

Later, Zhang Qiling lost his memory, and the two were separated by an accident. Qian Huanli then met Qi Danei (Hei Xiazi). To find Xiaoge, Qian Huanli chose to work with him. He really couldn't stand the guy's awful habits, but after facing life and death together, he felt the little deer in his heart briefly come back to life.

But after this guy got drunk, draped an arm around his neck, and said, "In this life and the next, we're going to be the best of brothers," Qian Huanli rationally strangled that little deer himself.

For the third time, Qian Huanli learned his lesson and decided it would be better to fall for a girl.

Then, due to certain drugs and a special reaction left over from the immortality elixir he'd taken years ago, he unexpectedly shrank to the size of a five- or six-year-old. His mind shrank a little too, and he had to grow up all over again.

So he chose to spend time with a group of kids, sincerely looking after a little girl named Xiaohua and giving Xiaoxie a hand along the way.

Then, some time later, he heard that Xiaohua had become Xie Dang, and instantly realized how badly he'd messed up this time. How had he failed to see what those two really were from the names Xiaohua and Xiaoxie? They were the future Lord Hua and Wu Xie.

Well, that went nicely. So he gave up again. After leaving some resources for Xie Yuchen and Wu Xie, he calmly strangled the feelings he'd once cultivated for Xiaohua, which had been a little inappropriate.

But later on...

Zhang Qiling always looked at him with quiet, profound affection and a glimmer of fire that had never been there before. He never left him behind again.

Beneath Hei Xiazi's cheeky grin was what seemed to be a sincere, fiercely beating heart. Something always seemed to linger behind those dark sunglasses.

Wu Xie's gaze seemed less like that of someone reuniting after a long separation and more like that of someone who had found what he'd lost. There was an intensity in his eyes that Qian Huanli didn't dare think too deeply about.

Xie Yuchen had always been calm and put his own safety first, yet time and again, he lost his composure and put himself in danger for Qian Huanli.

They had all offered him their true feelings.

Yet, because of things they had said and things they'd been through together, Qian Huanli saw every sign that something was off as proof of their profound brotherly love.

The answer was always the same: brotherhood is stronger than gold!

When Hei Xiazi wanted them to sleep in the same bed, Qian Huanli said:

"Sure. No problem with all us brothers sleeping together."

When Zhang Qiling went tomb raiding with him and protected him, Qian Huanli said:

"Let me go in front. How could I let my brother bleed?"

When Wu Xie tried to stop him from leaving, all he got was a head pat:

"You fool. All good things must come to an end. Even brothers have to part ways."

And Xie Yuchen, the one who had once been the most openly favored, wasn't even considered a brother:

"Young Master Jiu, goodbye. Don't follow me. The Xie family still needs you."

Everyone was troubled by this stubborn blockhead who refused to get a clue. Little did they know that the blockhead himself had long since opened his heart, only for every one of its seven openings to be kicked shut again by his constant talk of "brotherly love." He couldn't open them back up even if he tried.

P.S. If this isn't your thing, please don't be cruel. Just click the X in the upper-right corner, and we'll all be happy.

P.P.S. Although the protagonist does fall for other people, he's rational at heart, and his reason can be ruthless. If he decides that taking a relationship further would lead to a dead end, he won't hesitate for even a moment to strangle the budding feelings in his heart and preserve the status quo. He won't leave any room for them to return.

Theme: Can you believe I was kicked from being lovestruck straight into being a blockhead?