The Lazy, Foolish Emperor Who Started It and Then Abandoned It

# A lazy queen uke who just wants to flirt and run away x a scheming tyrant in public and a red-eyed crybaby in private seme # Overworked office drone Wen Xing died from working 996 hours a week. He woke up transmigrated into the last emperor of the Chen Kingdom. Wen Xing closed his eyes in bliss. Being an emperor was great. No more overtime fixing bugs. Then he turned his head and saw a mountain of memorials. Lessons at four in the morning, morning court at six, memorials at nine, and government affairs until late at night, with no days off all year. Wen Xing: … Let the world burn. - Given a second life, the overworked office drone just wants to lie flat. Looking back through history, Wen Xing immediately picks Ning Wujie, the great villain who will one day kill him and overthrow the dynasty. On the high throne, the emperor slumps in his seat and lazily points at the seventeen-year-old boy. “You’ll take over my overtime.” Ning Wujie: ? Ning Wujie attends the morning lessons, sits in on court, and reviews the memorials. At night, he even has to turn into a human-shaped hot-water bottle to warm the overworked emperor’s bed. Watching the emperor sprawled out like a pancake while he works overtime until his eyes are red, Ning Wujie snaps, “Tyrant!” - Three years pass in a flash. Wen Xing figures his kingdom should be due for collapse, but opens his eyes to a report announcing peace and prosperity. He turns his head and sees the great villain Ning Wujie still reviewing memorials with red-rimmed eyes. Wen Xing: ? I’m supposed to retire. Why haven’t you taken the throne yet? So he decides to fix the kingdom’s impending-collapse bug himself On a rainy night in the inner palace, Wen Xing raises a cup of poisoned wine. “Kill me, and the empire will be yours.” Ning Wujie’s eyes are wide with rage. He says each word through clenched teeth: “I don’t want it.” Wen Xing: “Yes, you do.” Then he tips back the cup and drains the poison. That night, Ning Wujie goes mad. - Wen Xing fakes his death and escapes, finding a beautiful, scenic place where he can lie flat and enjoy his retirement. He has no idea that, far away in the Golden Throne Hall, the young man with bloodshot eyes has become a tyrant whose name makes everyone tremble. Later, An unexpected visitor arrives at the Wen family estate. He is so noble he seems beyond mortal reach, yet radiates a murderous aura. Wen Xing is lying flat in the sun. He turns his head and meets the visitor’s wild, sinister red eyes. Wen Xing: … I’m dead. But moments later, those red eyes grow misty, and tears begin to fall. Wen Xing: ??? [Major spoiler warning] There will be a bonus chapter involving the seme from the original history and the seme from this story swapping bodies, along with a two-souls-in-one-body plotline. Don’t read it if that bothers you! [For the record] ① The seme does become a violent tyrant, but he does not mistreat the people or leave the land devastated. His violence is directed only at the turmoil in the court after the change of dynasty. ② The uke does start off as a layabout, but the dynasty doesn’t collapse because he lies flat, and the people don’t suffer for it. Even the layabout king occasionally does the right thing. ③ It’s essentially a sweet romance, though it has the angst of a faked death. Coming next: I’m Done Living! The Emperor Will Take Everyone Down With Him *A crazy, troublesome uke x a cold, fatherly seme* Madcap fiction Blurb: After five years of building his business, Shen Tingyun finally takes his company public on the Nasdaq. But just as the bell rings at the stock exchange, he transmigrates into the puppet emperor of the Great Sheng Dynasty. Shen Tingyun stares in confusion. “Where the hell am I?” I’m supposed to ring the bell!!! After learning that he can return to the modern world if he dies by any means other than suicide, Shen Tingyun begins staging all kinds of spectacular ways to get himself killed. In the Empress Dowager’s bedchamber, he casually points at the only little eunuch loyal to him. “I hereby appoint you Chief Princess. Slap her for me!” The little eunuch tearfully slaps the Empress Dowager twice, leaving red handprints on her face. The Empress Dowager clutches her reddened cheek, eyes blazing with rage. “Shen Tingyun! You’ve gone mad! I’ll have you deposed!” Shen Tingyun: Just what I wanted. At court, Shen Tingyun looks at the powerful general who commands the army, the grand secretary who controls the court, and Prince Chen, who covets the throne. He flashes a wicked smile. “Close the gates. Send in the Chief Princess.” The hall erupts with slaps and curses. “You tyrant! I’ll carry out the late emperor’s decree and depose you!” Shen Tingyun: Hurry up already. Shen Tingyun does everything he can to provoke the entire court and take everyone down with him, but all the assassination attempts against him fail. He’s frustrated with them: “Useless! Can’t any of you kill me?” At last, he pins his hopes on Qi Wujiu, the Prince of Zhenbei. Shen Tingyun: “Chief Princess, get him!” The little eunuchs are so terrified they nearly lose their wits. “This servant wouldn’t dare.” Shen Tingyun: Is this guy really that intimidating? Maybe I have a chance. He makes a big show of summoning Qi Wujiu to the palace to spend the night and gives him the lowest consort rank. Shen Tingyun: I’ve humiliated you so badly, you’ve got to want to kill me now. But Qi Wujiu not only refuses to kill him, he keeps getting promoted, rising all the way from the lowest rank to Consort. Shen Tingyun: What’s going wrong? Unable to take it anymore, he shouts, “Qi Wujiu, are you even a man? If you’ve got the guts, kill me!” Qi Wujiu expressionlessly unties his sash. “As you wish.” A hand reaches out from behind the bed curtains, making a classic Erkang pose. “That’s not the kind of ‘kill’ I meant!” Just let me go back and ring the bell! QAQ~ Core theme: Live with optimism and a positive attitude