The Whole Family's Full of Big Shots, So I Can Just Retire

Coming soon: The Sword Sect Junior Sister Is Tentacle-Type

Completed: Cultivation Depends Entirely on a Premium Membership

[Synopsis]

In a small cultivation town, there was an unremarkable family of five. Dad was a butcher, Mom was a spirit medium, my older sister farmed, and my older brother did construction. I was the busiest of them all. I slept so much, yet still had to keep an eye on all four of them, just in case our whole family really did become the foil to the female lead's family, like the book said.

They thought they were hiding their identities well, but I knew everything.

My dad was a runaway Buddha from Brahma Sound Temple, with boundless merit. If he didn't work hard at killing, he'd ascend on the spot in no time. I'd ascended several times myself, and honestly, it wasn't all that special.

My mom was the Underworld's lazy King of Hell. Her methods were downright sinister, and nobody knew more about exorcising ghosts than her. Except me. I was better at it than she was, and even more sinister.

[In the book, their identities forced them into a fight to the death, and they perished together.]

My older sister was a reborn villainous boss who knew the plot inside out. In this life, all she wanted was to be as wicked as possible. Every time she did something bad, she'd tell me to close my eyes, never realizing that even with my eyes closed, I did it better than her.

My older brother would find an "old man" the day after his engagement was called off, and his luck would become unbeatable from then on. But he could only defy the heavens. He couldn't outdo me.

[In the book, my brother helped the female lead kill my sister, then killed himself in remorse.]

And me...

I was absolutely nobody. I definitely hadn't been through quick transmigration 999 times, and I was definitely not a cheat. I was one hundred percent too weak to lift or carry anything, gasping for breath every few steps, too frail to look after myself. My dream was to eat, sleep, and shop, to be the most useless freeloader and live the happiest life of leisure.

[In the book, I died right there from the start. I didn't even live to old age.]

Me: ???

I came here to enjoy my retirement. All of you better get it together!

[Family Diary]

Dad: Er Ya seems to have inherited my flawless spiritual roots. She's got what it takes to be a Buddha.

Mom: The way our darling does things is so sinister. What a waste if she doesn't rule the Underworld.

Sis: Xiao Ke, your sister would trade a lifetime of bloodshed for you to stay innocent and carefree forever.

Bro: I've picked up so many magical treasures there's no room for them. I hope my little sister will spend money even more freely.

Me: No, no, yes, yes.

One-on-one romance, happy ending~ (Screenshot taken on September 4, 2022)

Coming soon: The Sword Sect Junior Sister Is Tentacle-Type

#The female lead has some morals, but not many#

#A cyberpunk menace of a player, bringing ruin to flowers and death to everyone she meets#

#Also known as: I Like It Better When You Call Me Dad#

"My dear sister, this life, I want to live differently. Your sect, which dotes on you, and your junior brother, who adores you, are mine now." Twin sisters were reborn in the womb. The younger sister was born first, and the sisters' names and fates were switched.

Older sister: Okay.

It wasn't until Qiansui was a thousand years old and dying in her previous life that she remembered she wasn't a native of the cultivation world. She was an unlucky player who had come here after beating a cyberpunk game.

When alien creatures invaded, she revealed her tentacles to protect her sect. Her master treated her like a monster and locked her away in a forbidden area. Her eldest senior brother took her blood to make pills, while her second senior brother cut off her tentacles to make magical weapons. The junior brother she'd bought no longer looked at her with affection, only disgust. They used her to win countless merits in the great war and became the world's heroes, but she was tortured until her limbs were mangled and died without a sound.

So whoever wants to go to that awful place can go. This time, without her helping them, she was curious how far those people could get on their own.

**

A branch of the Kunlun Mountain Sword Sect was famously miserable. Its three members included a master nearing the end of his life, one disciple who seemed insane, and another with a shattered dantian. The old, the sick, and the crippled, plus the baby girl they'd just found, made a complete set.

One day, starving Qiansui was using her tentacles to wield a sword and chop vegetables for herself when all three of them walked in on her.

The master, who usually lay flat and waited to die: "Ah, I'm about to die anyway, so whatever... I can't take it anymore! You have so many hands, and not one of them is holding that sword properly!"

The eldest senior brother, just about to lose it: "Haha, I must be crazy to think my junior sister is an octopus monster... Next time, just tell me what you want to eat. Your severed hands are all over the floor."

The second senior brother, whose dantian had only been half repaired: "Damn, you scared me so badly I nearly shattered my core! Take this bag of spirit stones and go have fun down the mountain. Don't come back until you've spent it all. Looking at all those hands makes my head spin."

After waiting for ages, Qiansui still hadn't been locked away or made into ingredients for pills or weapons. Instead, people taught her swordsmanship, cooked for her, and gave her money. Qiansui: Huh?

**

At an auction, the Seventh Crown Prince of the Dragon Clan was imprisoned in a cage, but he wasn't worried at all. He knew his senior sister would take him away today. She was good in every way, except she was a monster. In his previous life, he'd found her disgusting and only regretted it after she died. This time, he'd still need her tentacles to make pills and weapons. Once he'd successfully won the succession struggle, he'd give her a consort's title. She'd surely be grateful.

He couldn't wait to leave with Qianhe, who had rushed all the way there for him, abandoning the dying little slave. When Qiansui, whose mind was full of mischief, discovered that the little slave also had dragon blood, she was overjoyed.

[Extra Scene 1]

Master: "Qiansui is such a lovely name. Whoever named you must have wished you a long and worry-free life."

Qiansui: "No, those players wanted me dead. They meant that a menace like me would live for a thousand years."

Master: "..."

Master: "Very well. I only hope you stay healthy and happy."

Qiansui: (Looking at the people lying all over the floor, missing hands and legs) "I'm very healthy. (Listening to their desperate wails) And I'm very happy. Wonderful, I've lived up to your hopes, Master."

Master: "???"

[Extra Scene 2]

Junior brother: "Qiansui, may I call you A-Sui?"

Qiansui: (Whipping her tentacles around and smacking him repeatedly) "No. I like it better when you call me Dad."

Theme: Care for your family and love life