(Mainly Bungou Stray Dogs) I Wiped Out Every Possibility of a Happy Ending, and Now I Want to Go Home

Long story short, I transmigrated, but I didn't want to.

The "Book" shoved a bundle of black, gray, and white skills into my hands, along with a supernatural ability, all under the name of compensation for a mistake.

Heh, sure! Who'd believe that? The consciousness of my home world said it could tell at a glance that you were trying to ascend to a higher dimension. There was no mistake. You did it on purpose!

The compensation is pretty great, and I do love Bungo Stray Dogs, but how could a dangerous place like this compare to the safety of home?

I looked at the five buildings of the Port Mafia, feeling a little wistful.

The consciousness of my home world asked if I wanted to come back. Of course I did, a thousand times over.

After all, without the brains of the plotters, I'd die!

My World: I really want to, but right now I can't bring you back.

It said, "The Book" cut you into pieces and scattered you throughout the main world and all its mirror worlds.

After a long silence, I raised my middle finger to the heavens.

My World: So I can't bring you back right now, because you've been split into too many pieces.

Me: So... what do I have to do?

My World: Spend some time with a main character and form a connection with them. Once the world thinks you've become part of it and lets its guard down, kill yourself for a plausible reason.

Once every one of your fragments has killed itself, they'll combine into a complete, three-dimensional soul, and I can bring you home.

Me: ...That's so inhuman. It'll hurt a lot, but I agree.

After all, the "Book" doesn't act human, but I still have to.

For everything I care about, I have to get back.

And if I can't get into the heart of a main character, that probably means I'll hurt them as little as possible.

Rather than go to all the trouble of building a relationship, I could just have an unrequited crush, get rejected, tear up my card, and be home in no time.

So in every world, I joined the Port Mafia and ended up under the youngest executive's command.

Dazai Osamu was the best choice.

I didn't think I had any chance of making Dazai fall for me.

I played the perfect subordinate: a little older than Dazai, loyal, elegant, and good at everything. In practice, that meant cleaning up after his pranks, breaking up his fights, and protecting my baby on the battlefield.

Still, the young executive didn't seem to like me much. It was a little discouraging, but all the better. I wouldn't feel guilty at all.

At last, on Dazai's birthday, the man still wore that mask of an elegant smile as he leaned down.

"Mr. Dazai, happy birthday~ Do you like me just a little more this year?"

The bandaged young executive scrunched his face up in disgust. "No, not at all. Keep away from me, you smiling snake."

"That's heartbreaking..." The smiling snake's voice wavered for a moment. "I really..."

He lowered his voice slightly. "I really like you, Mr. Dazai..."

I didn't see Dazai Osamu's eyes flicker at those words.

I calmly finished attending the birthday party, calmly returned to the office, and tossed the red roses I'd prepared long ago into the trash. Then, with a sense of ceremony, I changed into a black suit.

After all that preparation, it was finally over.

Wearing a smile that seemed fixed to my face, I walked step by step into the river.

The water was so cold. The waves made me choke, and my nose hurt. The feeling of water filling my lungs was as if I would drown in that river forever.

But two minutes later, I successfully returned.

In every world, my souls had chosen Dazai Osamu just as sensibly, following the same routine: stay by his side for a while in one way or another, casually ask him out, and get rejected.

Then, on a night when no one was watching, I found a way to die and return.

Now, only one fragment has yet to come back.

What I don't know is that this is the Beast route, known as the one and only miracle...

Having spent a year as a sixteen-year-old subordinate raising the Port Mafia's fifteen-year-old Dazai, I'm now seventeen and think we've been together long enough for me to confess.

The familiar routine.

"Young Mr. Dazai, do you like me just a little?"

"Ugh! Get away from me. Absolutely not. Stop talking nonsense, you smiling snake. You're disgusting! It's like swallowing a slimy little slug... Bleh!"

"...I see..." The smile at the corner of my lips remained exactly as before, unchanged. "That's too bad. I really do like you, Mr. Dazai."

A different result.

That evening, Dazai Osamu found the "Book" and saw the endings of every "Mr. Smiling Snake" in every timeline. They had all confessed at the birthday party, been rejected, and then promptly killed themselves.

"...What? So you were serious? I thought..." I thought it was a joke. I thought I was the only one who'd fallen for this awful guy who loved teasing me. How could this happen? Couldn't he have held on a little longer...?

But when he saw the man in the "Book" toss the blue roses into the trash, put on a white shirt and black tailcoat, and carefully knot a silver-gray tie, his premonition of disaster shot to its peak. He ran toward that place without hesitation, then slowly came to a stop...

The man drifting with the current, eyes closed, still wearing a smile even when he could no longer hold on and bubbles began escaping his mouth and nose, looked so familiar.

"Save him!" He plunged into the water without waiting for his subordinates, his voice frantic, like a child about to lose everything.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw Dazai kneeling beside me, looking like he was about to cry, and the black-clad men pretending not to exist. One thought kept circling through my mind:

...Can I still go home?

P.S. When the protagonist transmigrated, the Beast route had just ended, and he hadn't had a chance to read it yet, so he didn't know what made Boss Dazai special.

P.P.S. In every world, Dazai Osamu genuinely fell in love with the protagonist, but never imagined that the protagonist would promptly kill himself after a playful confession was rejected.

Theme: A top who assumes Dazai Osamu won't fall for him, pretends not to care when he confesses, then kills himself again and again X a bottom, Boss Dazai, who accepts the love and obsession of every Dazai Osamu and sets out to save him