What Could Hiromitsu Possibly Do Wrong?

[Blurb for upcoming story, Don't Bully the Dumb Harem System! ↓] [The plot has been revised many times. I take no responsibility for any other pirated versions of the story.] [Fake-tsundere, straightforward type x genuinely scheming, gentle and steadfast cat] [Everyone has different reading tastes. If this isn't for you, please click the X. The reader's guide is at the end of the blurb. The blurb is in first person; the story is in third person.] The first thing I said to Jingguang was, "A bourbon, please." Without batting an eye, he recommended... a Scotch. ...And then I got a boyfriend. My boyfriend is a gentle, refined, high-quality young man who could practically rank No. 1 in Beika Town's matchmaking reviews. He has a steady job, wholesome hobbies, good looks, and a respectable income. His aim is so good that even if he lost his current job, he could make a living as a stand-in player in shooting games. His build is clearly the result of spending years at the gym. He's got the vibe of a big cat: sly and lively, and very pettable (?). ...By the way, his chest is perfect, too. But something puzzles me. We haven't known each other for very long, yet he seems to know me incredibly well. ...He even knows where I keep my spare key! Sometimes he looks down at me with warm eyes, but there's something unusual in his expression. It looks like nostalgia, or maybe contentment. If I hadn't stumbled into bizarre settings like The Angsty Substitute Lover Story and The Stalker in the Shadows, you'd think he'd known me for a long, long time. Much, much later, I discovered... We really had known each other for ages :D Me: "...So we didn't just meet, get together, and speedrun our relationship?" Jingguang: "ovo?" I change the subject: "I also thought you were the kind of open-minded guy who'd tear off my new clothes not long after we first met." Jingguang, who's always praised for being gentle and considerate: "…" * I thought this was our first meeting. A hunt I'd embarked on on a whim. I had no idea that long, long ago, I was already his prey. And he had already willingly stepped into the trap I'd set. [Reader's Guide] 1. It's very short, and also very silly and melodramatic (x). The style may be different from my previous works. The pacing is slow, and it's just everyday romance (lying down). 2. OOC! OOC! OOC! OOC! OOC! Five warnings! Extremely OOC. If you can't accept that, please click the X (hands together). 3. Hiro survives; no bento for him. There are many personal changes to the timeline and setting, including childhood friends who appear out of nowhere =v= 4. A self-indulgent work to get back into writing. Updates are slow, and I revise the story often. 5. Please don't mention this story under my other works, and don't mention other works under this one, qvq. I'll delete those comments if I see them, qvq. Archived 2022/6/6 -----Upcoming story: The Inconsiderate System Is at Your Service------ Takezawa Haruka is a [Dedicated Host Care] System that's about to be decommissioned and sent back to the factory. To finish the [Collect Host Dependence] refurbishment task as quickly as possible, he greedily and secretly binds himself to several different Hosts. He decides to use a different System persona for each Host, so they'll become dependent on him faster 0v< ★ 1. A gloomy, silver-haired beauty who seems to desperately need care and guidance. Takezawa Haruka customizes a [Thoughtful Butler] persona. [System: It's the first time the young master has brought an offer home!] [System: It's been so long since the young master smiled this happily!] The future top killer of the Organization, stuck in a shabby rental apartment and forced to use hair products, read, and do eye exercises every day: "..." 2. A lonely divine child raised in seclusion, ignorant of the world. Takezawa Haruka decides to use a [Thoughtful Playmate] persona. [[System] has sent you [A melodramatic story where everyone, from rotten higher-ups to curses and sorcerers and curse users, gets wrecked equally]!] [System: I never treat my best buddy like an outsider! Good things should be shared!] The divine child, well protected by the Gojo family but ultimately introduced to a whole new world: "?" 3. A workaholic at a major corporation who enjoys wine tasting after overtime. This time, Takezawa Haruka seriously prepares a [Thoughtful Secretary] System persona. [[System] has sent you [A Baby Milkshake That Is Always Full]!] [System: Working overtime too often can leave you weak! I'll take your drinks for you!] The Mafia's gravity user, whose glass keeps filling with fragrant baby milkshakes at social events: "." * As the number of Hosts grows, their files get longer and longer. That makes it easier for Takezawa Haruka's thoughtful behavior to go wrong. #He gave the little heart to the wrong person# Silver-haired killer: "...If you don't want to die, get that flower hat away from me." White-haired high schooler: "I don't drink! Didn't you say you remember everything about me?!" Mafia's gravity user: "...Huh? Kikufuku? I never said I liked that." Takezawa Haruka: Ah, this.jpg Feeling guilty, he plays thoughtful System voice lines loudly for every Host: "Of course you're the only Host I care about most!" and the like. After completing his mission, Takezawa Haruka gets a human body and happily runs away. Until one terrifying Host after another comes looking for him. "Caught you." The man's shadow looms closer, his smile never reaching his eyes. "You little two-timer." #Wait, does he still need to use his human body to care for the Hosts? # #Is pinning them down part of caring for them?# * [Bonus Scene] -During a top-secret underground mission. The Host is caught in a life-or-death gunfight. The System panics: [Young master! It's dangerous!!! I'll protect you!!] [The terrified System calls the righteous police hotline!] [The nearest police officers will arrive in three minutes!] Kurosawa Jin: "…" Today's Kurosawa Jin is one step further from becoming a core member of the Organization :) 2023.4.12 #The everyday life of an all-capable puppy trying to be a mom, then going off track and becoming a beagle (?)# #There are many Hosts, and each one gets equal-opportunity treatment and gets wrecked# #Trying to write something weird (?)! Probably a nonsensical comedy with heavily altered plot and tons of personal changes# #Super duper OOC. The author's not very smart, so this may lower your IQ (fidgeting)# Theme: Discover the lovely things in life