[Anime Crossover] When the Bandage Maniac Meets Unflappable Calm

"How did you win the affection of Dazai's bioweapon?"

"Ah..." Lan Gao silently pondered, with a bandage-wrapped pest clinging to his shoulder and refusing to be shaken off. "It started with a cocktail made with dish soap..."

"...A cocktail made with dish soap?" The interviewer's microphone began to tremble.

"Mm." Lan Gao nodded seriously.

It was Dazai Osamu's nth visit to Lupin Bar.

The music was still as lilting as ever, but the bartender had changed.

"What happened to the bartender from before?" he asked.

"Something probably came up at home. He took two days off." The new bartender had amber eyes flecked with silver. His eyes were sharp, but his rather pale complexion and lightly colored lips softened their edge. His medium-length black hair fell over his shoulders, giving him an androgynous beauty.

"Then I'll have a whiskey with dish soap~" Dazai Osamu cheerfully placed his order.

"Mm." The young man replied softly and went to make it.

After a while, he brought out a glass of whiskey topped with a lather of dish soap.

This guy had actually made a glass of whiskey mixed with dish soap?!

"Aren't you afraid I'll die?" Dazai's curiosity was officially piqued.

"Then please sign a liability waiver before you drink."

A pale, slender hand with prominent knuckles reached out, holding a sheet of paper.

"...Aren't you afraid I'll come after you?" Dazai began to suspect the man's motives.

"That's why I want to be absolved of liability first. You don't want to live, so I'm willing to help you." The man looked at him coolly, not showing the slightest sympathy for his baby-fat cheeks. "Sign if you want to drink. If not, I'll pour it out."

Dazai took the drink, signed his name, and gulped it down.

A while later, his stomach began to cramp. He felt nauseous, with the whiskey burning its way through his insides. He closed his eyes.

As he was about to lose consciousness, he instinctively reached out and grabbed the bartender's wrist.

He woke up again in a white hospital room.

"Pay for it yourself."

That hand reached out again.

"No way. You were the one who saved me~" Dazai refused.

"You didn't want to die anymore, so I saved you." The man's tone remained cool. "If you don't sign, the hospital will throw you out."

Honestly, given how they first met, even he wondered why he and Dazai became friends.

He had never once humored Dazai Osamu...

P.S. The protagonist is materially compliant with Dazai Osamu, but Dazai has to pay for whatever he spends. However, the protagonist won't indulge Dazai's strange demands of him.

P.P.S. Most writers on JJ win Dazai Osamu over by spoiling him and going along with everything he says. I'm no exception, but that's not how this story goes. The protagonist might help him out on a whim after seeing some of his innermost feelings, but he'll definitely never go against his own wishes just to indulge him. If you want to see Dazai get put in his place, come on in~

Theme: A keen sense of perception is important.