I'm the Strongest Fighter, Seriously?

[You can read this even if you haven't seen A Certain Magical Index. Updates follow the rankings this week. Unrestricted chapter comments are enabled. 80% anti-piracy] One day, I transmigrated, with no memories. System: Want to come back to life? Want to become a streamer adored by everyone? Want to become an omnipotent god? Then draw some cards!!! Kamijou Senshuu: ? . First card. It draws a useless man who's good at dying in all sorts of ways. Kamijou Senshuu: Fine :) Let's draw again. Second card. It draws a golden retriever that can talk, with a cigarette in its mouth. Kamijou Senshuu: ...? I may not be human, but you really are a dog. Third card. It draws a disabled big sister in a wheelchair, whose only redeeming quality is her knack for making others "give up." Kamijou Senshuu: ...Then make me give up drawing cards first. After facing his bleak, unlucky card-drawing streak, Kamijou Senshuu realizes: The other side's strength: a mysterious and powerful sorcerer, a gravity ability user who can lift a building with one hand, and a superpowered individual who can casually rewrite the world's settings. His side's strength: a useless man who's good at dying in all sorts of ways, a golden retriever with a hundred years of experience at being cute, and a pretty fool who's paralyzed from the waist down and can't lift a finger. It's hell difficulty from the start. Kamijou Senshuu: What happened to the secret identities with all kinds of powerful abilities?! System: They're on their way, they're on their way. Kamijou Senshuu: What about the god-level card?!! System: Coming right up, coming right up. Livestream chat [Wait, what... A dog can suppress an out-of-control God of Calamity?!] [Everyone knows if you can't kill the demon god, you're worse than a dog [tears of joy].] [I'm shaking with rage. When will the doggo be able to stand up... Oh, it's already standing, never mind.] [I can't explain this to you, because while I'm a golden retriever, I'm also the big boss Kihara.jpg] [Who let all these Kiharas, each of them a walking disaster, out?! The world's about to end, aaaaaah!] Having done great deeds and stayed anonymous, Kamijou Senshuu: That would be me. ◆Reader's Guide ◇The first four chapters have a somewhat different tone from the rest. The later chapters are closer to the lighthearted style of the blurb. ◇Content warning (pay attention): The Kihara clan members are all crazy, but due to censorship restrictions, they won't be written as too crazy. The protagonist has questionable morals, so don't judge them by ordinary standards. Please don't conflate the protagonist's actions with the author's. ◇Many original settings, out-of-character portrayals, and a jumbled timeline. ◇It's uncertain whether identities will be revealed, so be warned. ◇There are dream crossovers with other stories in the same series. ◇The card-drawing order in the blurb doesn't represent the order in the novel. The protagonist's "alluring everyone" quality refers to the livestream audience, not the fictional characters. ◇Kamijou Senshuu: Kamijou is pronounced "Kamijou" or "Joujou," and Senshuu sounds like "Sanshuu," so Kamijou Senshuu is actually Joujou Sanshuu (and I stand by that). Coming soon My Life as a Mage Turned Me into a Scriptwriter A Guide to Playing Both Sides When the Red and Black Factions Switch Roles After Winning Everyone's Hearts, I Got Caught in a Love Triangle A Friend's Upcoming Novel The Sword-Wielding Setter Huang Jinchuan Arrives! by Yidao Jiubai Jiujiu Ji Theme: Science is truth. Face everything with materialism, and persevere through every difficulty