Bringing My Dragon-Proud Dad on a Parenting Show

[Revisions and proofreading in progress. Ignore updates.] [The main story was revised after completion and differs considerably from pirated copies. Reading pirated copies is not recommended.] Xie Zheyue, an obscure idol who was shelved by his company just six months after debuting, has finally returned from ancient times. He spent his whole life working around the clock for his dog of an emperor father, a man who was cruel, ungrateful, ruthless, ambitious, and diligent in serving his people. Now at last he can take a break. What great news. But... Bad news: His dog of an emperor father came along too. Good news: His dog of an emperor father has turned into a three-year-old child, so he can be sent to kindergarten and get disciplined by all the little brats. Bad news: Kindergarten is too expensive. They can't afford it. In the end, Xie Zheyue sighed as he looked at the olive branch offered by Catlai Platform. “Son, let's go on a parenting variety show.” The dog emperor: “I'd rather die than become an entertainer!” Xie Zheyue: “It's 2.08 million a day.” The dog emperor: “Send me to the show right now!” And so, Xie Zheyue and his dog of an emperor father went on a parenting variety show. During introductions: Xie Zheyue: “I'm his dad.” The dog emperor: “He's my son.” The audience: ??? What kind of inverse father-son relationship is this? When they face a difficult challenge: The dog emperor: “Not unless you call me Dad.” Xie Zheyue: “Dad!” The dog emperor: “How can you be so shameless?” Xie Zheyue: “When it comes down to it, you're my dad!” Love interest: Helian Yingzhou. Same-sex marriage is legal in this setting. The whole story is fictional, with no real-life models, so please don't compare it to reality. An entertainment-industry face-slapping power fantasy, updated almost daily. I'll take a break if anything comes up. Reading guide: The author has basic tastes, so this story is a goofy mess of comedy and melodrama. I consider it a wish-fulfillment story with lots of tropes: the entertainment industry, wealthy-family feuds, an ancient person in the modern day, and marriage before love. Read only if you're okay with all that. Coming soon, romance: *The Villainous Senior Sister Changes Her Persona Every Day* Blurb: After the day something kicked her in the head, Xie Yaoyao vaguely remembered that she was a willful and arrogant young lady from a cultivation clan, the eldest disciple of Sword Lord Qianyuan, and the most talented cultivator of her generation. Yet she also felt that she was a destined hero holding a comeback script, or the world's greatest swordswoman with nothing in her heart but the sword, or a delicate young lady from a respectable family, or even a famous detective with extraordinary powers of deduction. Forget it. There are too many personas. She'll just pick one at random from now on. Unable to figure out what kind of person she really was, Xie Yaoyao chose to give up completely. After Xie Yaoyao was kicked off a cliff in a secret realm by a flying kick, her golden core was shattered, her spiritual roots damaged, and all her cultivation vanished. Almost the entire sect was waiting to see the eldest senior sister make a fool of herself, and waiting for her fiance to come and break off their engagement. On the day her engagement was to be broken: In front of everyone, Xie Yaoyao declared, “Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river. Never bully a poor young man!” Then Xie Yaoyao drew her sword and said, “Women... no, men shouldn't use swords. A man who uses a sword isn't a man!” A burst of sword intent swept out, and everyone in the hall fell to their knees. Xie Yaoyao declared, “Without me, Xie Yaoyao, born into this world, the way of the sword would have known only eternal night. Three million sword immortals in the heavens, and even they lower their heads when they see me.” Those kneeling on the ground: You've got the nerve to say that? Try saying it again in front of your grandmaster! Later, her master summoned Xie Yaoyao for tea. As soon as she entered the main hall and saw her junior sister weeping, she immediately put on a delicate air. “If I'd known she'd be here, I wouldn't have come.” Sword Lord Qianyuan frowned deeply. “What kind of thing is that to say?” Xie Yaoyao: “If she comes today and I come tomorrow, won't it be lively if we take turns?” After Xie Yaoyao decided she must be crazy, she had a very happy life, until one day her grandmaster emerged from seclusion and summoned her to ask what the sword was. Xie Yaoyao stood proudly with her sword and answered, “With no man in my heart, my sword will naturally be divine. The first page of the sword manual: kill the one you love!” Her grandmaster gritted his teeth. “My dear Yaoyao, you're just wonderful. Have you switched to the Unfeeling Dao and decided to abandon your husband and child?” Xie Yaoyao stared wide-eyed. “I haven't! I didn't! Don't make things up!” In the end, Xie Yaoyao frantically explained, “The last page of the sword manual says husbands and wives should cuddle!” Theme: Education matters most.