The Boss Dazai Just Flopped Down Here

## This is a huge pit, a bottomless pit, and an ongoing construction site. Enter at your own risk. ## ## Try the blurb first and see if it's to your taste, and whether it hits any of your squicks~ ## ## Hope you enjoy reading~ Sending love~ ## Dazai silently stared at the “book” that had fallen from the sky into his hands and murmured, “You can't refuse, can you?” The faint glimmer in his brown eyes was promptly blown out. The boy slowly untied the white bandage over his right eye, peeled away the gauze stuck to his left cheek, then gently wrapped the bandage around his left eye, layer by layer. When he opened that eye again, the bandaged boy said in an exasperated tone, “What a pain. Now I have to kick out Mr. Mori and take over, then stay home and work. Picking up books is way too casual, and going to work means two lines of tears. So much for a leisurely life... Wait, my Oda Sakunosuke never joined the Armed Detective Agency...” “, ” “Waaah!” * Five years later, after finally sorting everything out, Dazai Osamu took his first and last leap from the roof of the Port Mafia building, hoping to achieve his great ambition in life and embrace eternal sleep. But when he opened his eyes, he had no memories at all. While being lectured about not jumping off buildings, he was also told that he had transmigrated to a parallel world. Having learned about the world from the internet, Dazai Osamu immediately figured out that he was the legendary protagonist! All he had to do was overcome 521 trials, and then... Who knew? Getting back home was apparently within easy reach. Nakahara Chuuya, who had also found his way here with little trouble, stopped a certain [Port Mafia fugitive boss]. “You damn mackerel, don't pretend you're really dead! Get back to work!” “I'm Aji, a member of the Armed Detective Agency.” Dazai Osamu immediately made up an excuse and dumped the blame on the fellow alternate version of himself. He had amnesia, not brain damage. Only an idiot would go back to that desk piled high with paperwork waiting to be processed! Chuuya believed him. “Sorry, I mistook you for someone else. Then the other one must be the mackerel. Hey, why aren't you coming back?” The Armed Detective Agency Dazai, realizing he'd wandered into the wrong place and that his cover had been blown, knew there was no point denying it. He swallowed his bitter complaint and said: “Actually, I'm exhausted from all the walking today and need a massage. After walking so much, I'm starving too. I want soba made by the best chef in Yokohama... Chuuya, why are you taking the seat out of that luxury car?!” * Dazai Osamu knew he had transmigrated into the world with the most authentic main storyline: the one where his friend was no longer alive. But when he had to face that reality, Dazai nearly choked. “, ” However, his own Oda Sakunosuke raised an eyebrow at the grave of his alternate self and set the cigarette he'd just lit on the stone. “When I showed up here, I didn't know this was my grave. I took the canned crab meat left as an offering here as emergency rations...” But the Black-Atsushi who'd come with him disagreed. “I left that canned crab meat as an offering for Mr. Dazai, because in my world this is Mr. Dazai's grave.” The Armed Detective Agency Dazai who'd come along: “?” Dazai, lost in thought: “?” Perhaps this is a story about a slightly derailed Boss Dazai timeline and the main world messing each other up? !!!SQUICK WARNING!!! Out-of-character portrayals! Lots of personal headcanons!!! My take on Dazai: a black-clad Boss Dazai, with the abilities [No Longer Human] and [The Setting Sun]. Note: His personality may veer a bit chuunibyou. If I make him too gloomy, I'll end up sending myself to the hospital. The planned pairing at the start was Armed Detective Agency Dazai... but halfway through writing, I started thinking the others were pretty great too. So the story will lean toward no particular pairing, which means a bit of everything. Theme: A toast to the stray dogs (myself included)!!!