There's No Way My Childhood Friend Is a Scumbag Top

[Next Book]

One day, Tao Di reads a book.

In it, his good buddy Qiu Li is a scum gong who treats the protagonist Shou like he isn't human, bullying and toying with him at will. In the end, the protagonist Gong rises to power and frames him, sending him to prison. He is disfigured, falls seriously ill, loses his mind, and dies a miserable death.

Tao Di looks over at Qiu Li, who's busy fighting crickets.

The man's robe hangs open, revealing his well-defined waist and abdomen. He lounges casually in a deck chair with one leg propped up.

Noticing Tao Di watching him, Qiu Li fiddles with the cricket cage and asks with a grin, "Why are you looking at me like that? Someone might think you're in love with me."

Look at that!

Look at that flirtatious tone!

Look at that shamelessly flirtatious attitude!

Don't you know you'll meet a miserable end if you keep acting like this? Good buddies stick together for life. There's no way I'm letting you become a scum gong!

After much deliberation, Tao Di draws up a strict and detailed plan for Qiu Li.

When the plot calls for Qiu Li to run into the protagonist Shou while out and about:

Tao Di: You are not allowed to talk to other people as casually as you talk to me. If you've got something suggestive to say, say it to me.

Qiu Li: You like me? Why are you so controlling?

When the plot calls for Qiu Li to help the protagonist Shou out of a jam:

Tao Di: You are not allowed to get that close to anyone else, flirt with anyone else, or entertain any improper thoughts about anyone else. Have your assistant send me your schedule every day.

Qiu Li (deep in thought): ...

When the plot calls for Qiu Li to confess to the protagonist Shou:

Tao Di: You are not allowed to go see the protagonist Shou. Do you hear me? Absolutely, absolutely do not go, or we're not friends anymore.

Qiu Li: Since you put it that way, how could I not listen?

*

On the day Tao Di learns that Qiu Li is going to give someone a ring, he clutches his mother at home and wails.

Tao Di: Mom!!! I can't save Qiu Li! He's still going to confess to the protagonist Shou. It's over, it's over! The plot can't be changed at all. He's going to become a scum gong and die horribly, and I can't just stand by and watch!!! He's my only good friend!!! I don't want to be the one who sends him to prison, sob sob sob... sob sob sob!!!

Mom: You're crying like a big snot-nosed brat. What a useless little freeloader. Can't you live without him? Oh, hurry up and let go. Go open the door.

Qiu Li, looking every inch the gentleman, walks in, drops to one knee, and confesses to him.

Tao Di: Wait? What? Say that again? Who are you confessing to? Who?

Qiu Li raises an eyebrow: You.

Tao Di: ...???

What the hell, that's not what I meant!!!

1. Scum gong, one-on-one, happy ending. A light and fluffy sweet romance where everyone is adorable. Also known as "How to Turn My Straight Childhood Friend Gay." A clueless, straight-as-an-arrow, friendly-to-everyone Shou (Tao Di) x a sadistic Gong whose unrequited love has nearly driven him to develop abnormally.

2. The author knows that "abnormal development" has a specific meaning in biology, but uses it literally in the blurb. Just as the author knows a slipper is not a worm, and a slipperwort is not a worm either.

Theme: Love is a lie called friendship.