Be Careful When Raising Pets with AI

Content warnings: Nonsense! No logic! Everyone is a goofball! Everyone is a robot! The writing is cheesy and awkward, so click away if that's not your thing. The brother story, The Villain Is Forbidden from Being Cute, is available for pre-order at the bottom. Blurb: [Scrappy Little Dinosaur Vacuum Robot Bottom x Mecha Top Who Pinches Pennies with Everyone Else but Would Sell Everything for His Wife] Kakana, the Chosen One of the Planes, failed his year-end performance review. After being forced to undergo a reassessment, he was bound to a goddamn underworld System. At that moment, he was... A hideously ugly green robot vacuum! Not only was he no longer human, he was also a little... green. Kakana, the Planes Bureau's only employee: -.- Shrugs. I'm used to it... But this System really is the worst. System: [Host, you have insulted this System! Your mission is now active!] [Mission 1: Collect 100 piles of dog poop!] Kakana rules the roost at the zoo, and a pack of dogs trembles as they cover their butts. Meanwhile, the virtual pet game interface of Yarman, the Federation's God of War and ace mecha pilot, fills up with dog poop. [Mission 2: Collect stinky socks!] At the military academy, Kakana becomes the sock thief feared by countless burly men. Yarman's game page fills up with another pile of stinky socks. [Mission 3: Haul bricks at a mecha factory!] Kakana develops a new type of paint at the factory. On the day of the military exercises, four giant mechas painted to look like they were bleeding from every orifice charge into the sky. Yarman becomes a laughingstock across the Federation. [...] Ever since God of War Yarman downloaded the virtual pet-raising game Traveling Pet, he has felt that something is off about his pet. Other pets bring home gifts like plush toys, souvenirs, and cute photos... But when he checks his own game screen, he sees N pairs of stinky socks, nails, filthy rags, sunflower seed shells, rotten watermelon rinds, and even a pile of dog poop! Yarman: This is horrible! Thinking the game had a bug, he posted his pet's daily antics on the forums. But overnight, his peculiar pet went viral, and thousands of people begged him to sell his game account. Yarman: Suddenly, it doesn't bother me anymore... He promptly became a mega spender. After completing countless missions, Kakana finally earned enough points to connect his village to the internet. He opened a pet-game video with hundreds of billions of views across the web. He stared at the screen in silence for a few seconds.