Comprehensive Guide to Being a Perfect Undercover Agent

This is the sequel to Port Angel. For the best experience, read the first book before this one, though it is not necessary to enjoy this story.

Warnings:

1. The protagonist is Angel, the Chainsaw Man devil. This is my take on an alternate timeline, so imagine an Angel who was reborn with his memories after death. His personality is more or less the same, but his worldview has a little Fujimoto Tatsuki in it. For details, check out my previous book, Port Angel, and the outrageous things that particular Angel got up to.

2. Some characters may be out of character. The protagonist's true identity is a Hound from the Ability Special Division. The Bungo Stray Dogs anime characters have not appeared yet, so it is fine if you do not know them, since they will not feature much. The main setting is Jujutsu Kaisen.

3. The romance is a choose-your-ship situation. I intended to write Chuuya, but who knows, I might change my mind halfway through.

Blurb

[Jujutsu High First-Year Final Exam]

Name: Michieda Anyu

Score: Zero

Question: How are curses created?

Answer: Root cause: They originate from human fear. Immediate cause: They are born in Hell.

Question: What is the process for activating a sorcerer's technique?

Answer: Find a devil and make a contract. When you need to use its ability, say the sound effect and make the hand gesture used to activate the contracted devil's ability. Each devil has a different gesture and sound effect.

Question: Name a well-known special-grade cursed spirit from the last thousand years.

Answer: Makima.

Question: What should you do if you encounter a curse you cannot handle while on a mission?

Answer: Throw a Gojo Satoru at the curse in front of you, then eat ice cream from a safe distance while you wait.

When the results came back, the lazy devil held his exam paper without a care in the world.

*Principal Yaga: So, Michieda, what exactly have you been learning all year?

Angel: There's a dessert shop in Kanagawa that has a 30 percent discount on Thursdays and Fridays. Suzukien Ice Cream has branches in Asakusa, Nagano, Shibuya, and Harajuku. I also got a savings card with 20,000 yen on it using my student ID.

Principal Yaga: ...

*Geto Suguru: I remember you staying up all night studying for a week before the exam. How did you still do so badly?

Angel silently held up the Bible beside him. You mean this book? I did stay up all night reading it for a week, and I still haven't finished.

Geto Suguru: ...So that's how he came up with all that stuff about devils on the exam.

*Gojo Satoru: Hahahaha, almost all your answers were half right, so you actually know the correct answers, don't you?

Angel: Your name sounds like Makima's. I don't like you, and I don't want to talk to you.

Gojo Satoru: What?

Gojo Satoru: Weren't you planted here by those rotten higher-ups to keep an eye on me?

Devil: Yes, but those two things aren't mutually exclusive.

The old blurb

To win the trust of the higher-ups he was spying on, Angel went to Jujutsu High.

Michieda Anyu (Angel): Yeah, I'm weak, so I think I should learn from Gojo-senpai as much as possible.

On Michieda Anyu's first day on a mission...

Haibara Yu: Moshi moshi, Michieda-kun, where are you right now?

Michieda Anyu: Yokohama.

Haibara Yu: Huh? Wasn't the mission at a hospital in Kobe? Did you get on the wrong train, Michieda-kun?

Michieda Anyu: Nope. The crepes in Yokohama Chinatown are really good, so I'm in line to buy one right now.

The handsome, long-haired boy took the crepe and, while carefully keeping in character, spoke into the phone.

I'm weak anyway, so it makes no difference whether I'm on the mission or not. But Haibara-kun, you don't need to worry. Nanami-kun works so hard because he wants to take on more missions, right? So I sent him over there.

Nanami, after receiving the message: Thanks a lot.

When Geto found out afterward, he said, Gojo, look how badly you've corrupted your juniors.

Gojo Satoru, bristling: This is clearly a case of my reputation being unfairly tarnished!

Angel believed undercover agents should keep a low profile, so he diligently carried out his duties. (Slacking off.)

When Haibara Yu died in the line of duty, Angel was at a Tokyo distillery, locked in a battle of wits with an FBI agent. (Though it was all a misunderstanding.)

When Nanami Kento left Jujutsu High, Angel tried to recruit him to the Ability Special Division under the name of Jono Saigiku. (He was recruiting his future target for mission overload.)

After Geto Suguru defected, the higher-ups, who already trusted Angel completely, gave him a secret order: kill Gojo Satoru when he killed Geto Suguru.

Angel: ...Okay. (Internal monologue: This is going to take years, damn it. My mission is over. I'm out of here.)

And so, on the day Geto defected, Michieda Anyu never came back.

"Legend says Prometheus used what the gods gave him to create humans in their likeness. Zeus was furious and punished Prometheus, but he had no justification for destroying all of humanity."

The handsome, long-haired boy sat in an office chair, a glowing golden halo floating above his head. Great, immaculate white wings spread behind him as he leafed through a brief history of the world. His languid voice made one's heart itch.

"So Zeus ordered Hephaestus to make the perfect maiden, Pandora, and an exquisite box, and gave Pandora curiosity about everything. He put the gods' curses into the box, gave it to Pandora, and made her swear not to open it as long as humans still revered the gods. But Pandora opened it. Disaster, plague, deceit, greed, pride... all these evils stained humanity, once good, with its current sinful nature. But people don't realize that this is exactly what made humans more like the gods. Some human kings even repeatedly toyed with Zeus, king of the gods. Unfortunately, the story has no ending because ancient Greek civilization collapsed. Maybe... if it had an ending, humanity would defeat the gods or something. Come to think of it, the turning point was Zeus creating Pandora to destroy humanity."

"What are you trying to say?"

"One person who can break the Prison Realm was ruined by Gojo Satoru, and the other was wiped out by Gojo Satoru. You've cut off your own escape route."

"..."

"You've obtained information that an 'angel' can undo the seal. I can only tell you that, unfortunately, I'm not the angel you're looking for."

The boy stood and walked toward the door. His black suit made his slender frame look especially tall, and his huge, immaculate white wings trailed behind him, lending his androgynously handsome face an even more holy glow.

"Still, humans do call me an angel. I may not have an ability that can wipe out all sorcerers, but my ability, 'Gate of Babylon,' can summon a fully intact Inverted Spear of Heaven. It's not just a matter of the lifespan it costs. The main thing is..."

The boy checked the time. There was only an hour left before the crepe shop in Chinatown closed.

He raised an eyebrow and asked sharply, "Give me a reason to help you."

"Ieiri-san provided photos and proof that you and Gojo-san were together back then."

Angel: What?

"And you're the seme, too!"

Angel: What?!

No, wait, this is a huge misunderstanding.

"Bonus scene"

Geto Suguru: I will create a new world without monkeys!

Fyodor: I will create a new world without ability users!

Angel: My superiors have already decided to eliminate all outside influences from other worlds, which means sorcerers, curse users, curses, cursed objects, and so on. Then the whole world will go back to normal, and curses won't exist anymore. (Shrugs.)

Makima: I want to create a new world full of love.

Gojo Satoru: What? So what's going to be left in this world?

Dazai Osamu: ...It seems like there's something strange mixed in here.

Angel: What?! Using ten thousand years! (Takes action immediately.)

Theme: A reborn angel can find simple, precious happiness of his own, just like Nayuta.