Just How Many Trash Ex-Boyfriends Do I Have?

[Also known as: You Tell Me, Who Do You Have a Child With?]

[My ex-boyfriend has a brain tumor, and the tumor content is extremely high.]

Morishima Mian used to be a happy, ordinary young woman with a car, a house, and stunning looks, until a rotten System forcibly abducted her.

Forced to binge-watch anime in full immersion, she couldn't help letting out a loud sob.

Even if she was a sixth-dan karate, kendo, and kyudo practitioner, she was still an ordinary person governed by Newton's laws. How was she supposed to use magic against ninjas piloting Gundams?

To return to her happy, classical-mechanics-based ordinary life, Morishima Mian gritted her teeth and caught up on more than twenty anime series.

But eleven years had passed in the real world.

Declared dead, she had all her assets turned over to the state. The only real estate left to her was a standalone villa, A3, in a Kyoto cemetery.

The streets were full of strange-looking little creatures whose recipes violated basic human rights.

Her apocalypse, milk tea with ice and sugar, was everywhere.

Her former crushes had fallen one after another, her favorite boy band had gone on indefinite hiatus, the host club she most liked going to for mixers had closed, and Keigo Higashino had reached his ninety-ninth novel.

Her bad-tempered childhood friend had grown into a weird middle-aged man who wore a suspicious blindfold and chuckled to himself. Her childhood friend's only other close friend had lost his mind and treated a once-in-several-thousand-years beauty like her as a monkey.

The person she had promised to marry as a child, only to break that promise unilaterally later, had gone from a little piece of trash to a big piece of trash.

Most absurd of all, her scumbag ex-boyfriend, who had cheated on her with who knows how many people and had who knows how many children, was still alive in this world. And not only that, he claimed they had a child together.

Wait, who do you have a child with?

No, how can you prove that child is mine?

Later, as Morishima Mian felt that the world was getting more and more wrong, she couldn't help wondering:

Who is the child's father, anyway?

How many scumbag ex-boyfriends do I actually have?

How terrible is my taste in men?

Content warnings:

1. The ex-boyfriend has a brain tumor, with an original character design for the tumor.

2. Breaks up the Otome romance pairing. (Bows deeply.)

3. There are a whole lot of very, very extensive author-created details.

4. Updates follow the rankings when listed, and happen whenever otherwise.

5. No pairing in the main story. The bonus chapters feature Gojo Satoru, a Gojo and Geto love triangle, and the brain tumor.

For my next book, see [Jujutsu Kaisen] You Call This a Happy Ending?

[Content warnings: Pure otome romance flavor, dark and melodramatic, so don't wander in if that's not for you. The common route has already been completed at the start, but the heroine has amnesia, so the story begins directly with the second act. There are therefore some mystery elements. The heroine has no god's-eye view early on, but there is an exposure mode later.]

The creators of the large-scale conquest game Love Across Time approached Hanjiang Jizhi to try it out, promising her ten billion if she cleared the game.

Tempted by the huge reward, Hanjiang Jizhi logged into the game right away.

[Second Act]

[You are a newly appointed imperial consort of the Emperor. You are blind, but possess astonishing beauty. On your wedding day, the Emperor comes to your room. The moment you log into the game, it is your wedding night.]

Hanjiang Jizhi: What is an imperial consort? A concubine?

Even as a history ignoramus, she knew the Emperor's principal wife should be called the Empress.

What kind of feudal game is this? Why does she have to be a concubine too?!

[Please make your choice now.]

[A. Refuse his advances]

[B. Accept his advances]

Hanjiang Jizhi, who refused to be a concubine, frantically mashed AAAAAA.

[You refused his advances. He wasn't angry, but asked with an ambiguous smile: If you don't want to be with me, then who do you want?]

Hanjiang: Is this Emperor a little too blunt? Your Heian-kyo is really open-minded.

[Please make your choice now.]

[A. Minamoto no Seimitsu] [B. Asakura Yao] [C. Kamo Yasunori] [D. Ashiya Douman] [E. Gojo] [F. Zenin] [G. Kamo] [H. Ryomen Sukuna] [I. Kibutsuji Muzan]

Hanjiang Jizhi looked at the long list and twitched her mouth. Unable to choose, she decided to start from the top. She picked A, everything went black, and a CG appeared before her eyes.

A woman lay on the ground, a sword run through her chest. At the edge of the image, a one-armed hand gripped a katana, its tip dripping blood.

[Game over. Congratulations, you've achieved a dead end.]

Was the very first choice really an instant bad-ending route?

Hanjiang Jizhi reloaded.

Next, B, C, and D all led straight to bad endings. After watching four CGs of her own death in a row, Hanjiang Jizhi was numb.

What a devious game, putting instant-death options in the first four choices.

But Hanjiang Jizhi was stubborn. She insisted on choosing from top to bottom. Next came E, death; F, death; G, death. Looking at the two remaining choices, she took a deep breath and finally decided to choose from the bottom up.

[You chose Kibutsuji Muzan. The Emperor couldn't understand and asked you: That sickly man? He might die on top of you while you're making love. Just how much do you hate him?]

Hanjiang Jizhi: For a moment, I don't know what to complain about, or where to start.

[The Emperor watched you for a while with an unreadable expression, then left. He didn't visit you for the next half a month, until one day a maid announced that your older brother, Kamo Yasunori, had come to see you.]

So C was an incest route? Hanjiang was shocked.

[You are pregnant. Your older brother personally took your pulse and discovered your pregnancy.]

[Your brother looked at your belly with hatred and deep jealousy. He asked you: Are you really going to give birth to his child?]

[You nodded. Kamo Yasunori left. When the Emperor learned of this, he hurried over and touched your belly, giving a brief laugh.]

[Feeling guilty, you didn't dare move at all. You suspected he was so furious about being cuckolded that he had lost his mind.]

[That night, a man was sent to your bed. He was very handsome, but looked terribly frail.]

[He looked at you with hatred and disgust. He tried to resist and cursed at you, but he had been drugged. Unless you helped him dispel the drug, he would probably die that very night.]

Hanjiang Jizhi: Why does this game have a nonconsensual scene with a respectable married man?!

Her conscience told her she shouldn't do this, but the man was just too beautiful. Tied to the bed, he cried so pitifully, his eyes red at the corners, looking utterly deserving of sympathy.

[Please make your choice now.]

[A. Save him.]

[B. Let him go.]

The player wanted to save him, and the player got him.

By the end, the man had passed out.

[Congratulations, you've achieved the Kibutsuji Muzan happy ending: A Void Tomorrow.]

At this point, Hanjiang Jizhi was astonished: This was a happy ending?!

A crossover of Shaman King, Demon Slayer, and Inuyasha, with around seven or eight acts in total, ending in the modern era after starting in Heian-kyo.

Theme: Meeting the right person at the finish line