Why Won't You Die Already?

Yao Shi is the youngest princess of the demon realm. With three older brothers, she has been doted on by her entire clan for thirty thousand years. The most complete collection of spiritual treasures in the world isn't in the Demon Realm's treasure vault, but in Little Princess Yao's bedroom. Shen Heng is an immortal lord of the heavens. His age and past are a mystery, and his face is the stuff of legend. Every fairy who has seen him is said to be unable to forget him, earning him the top spot on the list of men most hated by other men across the four seas and eight wildernesses. The sixth day of the sixth month, the human world's Lantern Festival. Yao Shi sneaks into the human world to have fun and comes across a lantern fair with a couplet contest. She eagerly joins in but keeps losing because she isn't familiar with human couplets. Just as she's feeling dejected, a young man in white appears beside her. In the time it takes to drink a cup of tea, he answers every question and wins the cheers of the entire street. Yao Shi watches the young man in white accept the first prize, a beautiful lantern... but then he turns around and holds it out to her. The faint smile on his face is a thousand times more beautiful than the exquisite lantern. He says softly, "It's for you." "..." Yao Shi figures this must be what the storybooks mean by love at first sight. There is a soul-purifying treasure in the world, the Sutra-Lighting Lotus Lantern. There is one in the heavenly realm and another in the demon realm. When someone dies, their soul can be stored in the lantern and later given a new body so they can ascend to immortality. Yao Shi and Shen Heng marry in the human world and live in such bliss that everyone envies them. But human lives are ultimately limited. Shen Heng waits for his wife to die so he can take her soul to the heavens. The Sutra-Lighting Lotus Lantern has already been cleaned and set aside, just waiting for her to die. Yao Shi has also long since asked the Demon Lord for a treasure. Once her husband dies, she can take him back to the demon realm and be together with him for all eternity. Seventy years pass. Eighty years pass. A hundred years... Everyone in Qingyuan Town knows that an elderly couple in town never get sick. Even with wrinkled faces and white hair, they can still smash bricks with their bare hands and nimbly climb over walls. They must be possessed, so everyone keeps away from them. Little do they know that every night, when the possessed couple lie down beside their spouse, they are just as baffled. Wait... why are you still alive? If you don't die soon, the soul-purifying treasure is going to break!!! [Aloof on the outside, flirtatious on the inside, immortal-like lord x innocent and adorable princess of the demon realm] One-line summary: A ridiculous story about how I can take you to heaven or hell as soon as you die, but you just won't freaking die. * Note: Inspired by a very cute joke I found online. I got the original author's permission. Theme: .