What's Wrong with Wanting to Be Rich? [Western Crossover]

With no known father and a mother who was a hooker, being born in Gotham meant Bernie Raphael got dealt a terrible hand from the start. To survive, Bernie would stop at nothing to con and scam people. He worked for the Penguin, landed on Gotham's Bat-Freak's blacklist, and even managed to swindle New York's friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Bernie was perfectly at peace with it. "I just want to be rich. What's wrong with that!" But if you spend enough time walking by the river, sooner or later you'll get your shoes wet. After shaking off his pursuers, Bernie went into hiding under a new name and headed to the countryside to lie low. Two days later, he got caught up in a fight between superheroes and supervillains. Not only was he injured, his secret identity was blown, too. Bernie: ... * As a victim and a person of interest, Bernie was sent to the hospital by the Justice League's support team to recover. That night, Bluebird came to visit. Bluebird asked, "Bernie, what's your wish?" Bernie said, "To be adopted by a rich man, then sit back and wait for him to drop dead so I can inherit a fortune I could never spend?" Bluebird: ...? A few days later, the superheroes received Bernie's psychological evaluation. Reading the diagnosis that he was very likely to turn to crime unless properly guided, several of them exchanged glances and fell into deep thought. Superman: I knew it. Raising a kid really should be left to... (looks away) Captain America: That's true... (looks away) Bluebird: Exactly... (looks away) Wonder Woman: Absolutely... (looks away) Iron Man: Who else is good at raising kids? (looks away) The focus of everyone's attention, the brooding Batman: ... (takes a deep breath) * Bernie had no idea how the superheroes pulled it off, but he really did get adopted by a wealthy Gothamite, just as he'd wished. The only thing he wasn't too happy about was that his adoptive father wasn't that old, and already had two other adopted sons. "That means I'll inherit a lot less, but it's no big deal," Bernie told the brooding Batman, who had come to see him in the middle of the night. "The good news is, he does a lot of extreme sports and drinks coffee like it's water. Maybe one of these days he'll accidentally drop dead." The brooding Batman: ...? Much later, after learning everyone's true identities, Bernie: ... "You know I don't actually mean any harm, right?" Bernie said, his eyes red and his expression pitiful. "I just want to be rich. What's wrong with that?" Later still, Bernie suddenly discovered that several more adopted sons and daughters, plus the old man's biological son, had joined the family. Bernie: ... You just really like adopting kids, don't you? The brooding Batman: ... (silent.jpg) * Sixteen is a turning point. Before sixteen, the world in Bernie's eyes was filthy and full of mud. After sixteen, he glimpsed a light in all that darkness. #Also known as: The Superheroes Join Forces to Save a Wayward Pretty Boy# #Maybe (?) this is a story about saving someone# PS: 1. The pairing is undecided. Iron Man and Batman are parental figures, so their relationships with the protagonist are familial. (Some people might guess who the protagonist's biological father is, but I'll say it anyway: I never planned to write about his biological father. His biological father is not Batman. Just consider his biological father dead.) Everything before the protagonist turns sixteen is familial; the romance won't start until he's eighteen. The focus is mainly on his growth, not romance. 2. Everyone loves pretty boys (and pretty girls, too). If they weren't pretty, why would I bother writing about them? 3. The blurb may change, but the premise won't. Any OOC characterization of canon characters is on me. These are my versions of superheroes and their timeline. 4. There are original elements, and quite a few scenes may not match the comics. There are plenty of good stories out there, so if this one's not for you, just move on! Note: The character illustration on the cover is from the character creator 3.0 by artist Qian Linlin on Weibo. I bought a basic commercial-use license and asked the artist, but haven't received a reply yet. I'm taking the liberty of using it for now. If it can't be used as a cover, I'll change it. Check out my original works and Western Crossover previews, blurbs below: Upcoming derivative romance: "A Sunday Without Superheroes [Western Crossover]" A heads-up: The blurb was inspired by the anime "Sunday Without God." On an ordinary Sunday, humanity suddenly heard a sigh. "Humanity doesn't deserve superheroes." Then everyone suddenly realized that the Fortress of Solitude, standing among the polar ice, had vanished without a trace; the silent guardian perched atop a Gotham gargoyle was nowhere to be found; the lights in New York's tallest building never came on again; and the figure that used to swing between the high-rises of Queens had disappeared... Earth had lost its superheroes. In the first year without superheroes, humanity rejoiced, convinced the world would be better without them. In the second year without superheroes, humanity was shocked to discover that the world had become even worse. Crime rates and accidental deaths began to skyrocket. In the third year without superheroes, a novel about superheroes appeared out of nowhere and swept the world within a few short months. At last, humanity saw their pain, confusion, loneliness, and sorrow. In the fourth year without superheroes, the superhero culture industry developed rapidly. Humanity began to miss its superheroes, and "Find the Superheroes" became the top trending topic worldwide on Twitter. When Adele published the final chapter of her superhero novel, it happened to be the seventh anniversary of the superheroes' disappearance. She silently made a wish for the superheroes to return. God sensed the sincerity of Adele's wish, and granted it. * The day after her novel was finished, Adele began finding injured cats one after another. The first was a gentle, good-natured blue-and-white cat with blue eyes, who liked to lie on Adele's stomach and ease her period cramps. The second was a quiet, aloof, pitch-black Maine Coon, who liked to keep her company while she worked. The third was a short-legged golden chinchilla cat, spirited and proud, who liked to wrap its fluffy tail around Adele's wrist and rub against it. The fourth was a young, lively Siamese cat, who always purred happily when Adele stroked it. After taking in the cats, Adele had just started to enjoy the happiness of having pets when, as the days passed, she realized there was something a little strange about them. Her cats were sweet and adorable, and never turned down her kisses, cuddles, or hugs. But she discovered they could smash a stone table with one punch, run up walls and across rooftops, chat online, and even shoot spiderwebs! Adele, deep in thought: ... Something seems off. Original danmei: "Please, Love Me" A pretty boy bottom who can't love but is very good at pretending to, × a crybaby top who thinks he doesn't love him but actually loves him to death Everyone said Wen Yunning was deeply in love with Xiao Lanbing, and Xiao Lanbing himself thought so, too. So he could skip getting an anniversary present, forget Wen Yunning's birthday, and even come home after entertaining clients without Wen Yunning's permission, smelling of alcohol and perfume. Xiao Lanbing was quite satisfied with Wen Yunning's gentle, obedient nature, and decided to propose on their anniversary. On the night of the proposal, Xiao Lanbing was dressed to the nines and looking every bit the gentleman. Before he could take out the ring, Wen Yunning, seated across the table, lowered his head slightly, the candlelight flickering in his eyes. His tone was as gentle as ever. "Lanbing, let's break up." Xiao Lanbing's face suddenly turned livid. * Wen Yunning had known since childhood that he couldn't love anyone. But how could a person not understand love? So he set his sights on Xiao Lanbing. With his illustrious family and ability to do anything, Xiao Lanbing was the perfect partner. Even the one flaw other people saw in him, his cold and unfeeling nature, seemed like a huge advantage to Wen Yunning. Cold was good. It meant he wouldn't fall in love with someone easily, so Wen Yunning could learn how to love from him without worrying about getting entangled in a debt of love. As time went by, Wen Yunning grew troubled when he realized that after several years, he still hadn't learned how to love. Rather than waste any more time, he decided to break up. Less than a week later, Xiao Lanbing showed up at his doorstep, reeking of alcohol and red-eyed, begging to get back together. Xiao Lanbing: "I'll do my best to make you fall in love with me again." But Wen Yunning looked troubled. "But Lanbing, I never loved you in the first place." Theme: Even when you live in a gutter, you still have the right to look up at the stars.