Once Again for This Star

After reading this short article of only 8,000 words, I was once again touched by the feelings between Yingmei and Tie Yun, so I couldn't help but write down a small review. This short story is not a story with a big heroine, and it does not conform to some current trends - both heroines have been married and had children, and have made some small mistakes - but it moved me more than many stories that claim to be a story with a big heroine. There is no completely good woman or completely bad man in the whole text, but under the background of that era, it uses vivid characters and actions to dismantle all kinds of cold irony, which is light and piercing. The relationship between Yingmei and Tieyun is due to her husband's eccentricity. The pull between Yingmei and the fitter Qiu Si was misunderstood by her husband as intimacy, and the latter deliberately emphasized that Qiu Si's wife, Tie Yun, was a better existence than Ying Mei - "a college student who can sing "Marino's Song"". From then on, Tie Yun became a beautiful figure. , Stayed in Yingmei's life forever, like the vignetting of watercolor paint, which was faint at first, but became more and more intense in Yingmei's unilateral imagination and rendering day after day, and finally became an indelible star. People often mistake the admiration between women for jealousy, and naturally and absurdly believe that this feeling is due to men. As a result, many women will be confused and doubt their original intentions. But the charm of Yingmei is that she knew this relationship very clearly from the beginning. She knew clearly that without Tie Yun, she would not have been able to support this body and give birth. After being admitted to college, Qiu Si came to see her, and Yingmei also solemnly declared that her admission to college had nothing to do with Qiu Si. Tie Yun gave her a green dress, and someone provoked her: "I'm burying you." Yingmei said nothing, thinking: I don't care, as long as it's hers. I was so moved when I read this: "I don't care, as long as it's hers." So whether it's subtle kindness, or even malice in the eyes of others, as long as it's Tie Yun's, it becomes some kind of sweet guidance for Yingmei. Female friendship has never been something that can be summed up by the simple word "beautiful". It begins with subtle comparisons, matures from following eyes again and again, and ends with the fantasy at the end of life. From the age of 21 to the age of sixty, from college, childbirth, losing his only child, and finally after Tie Yun's death, from the subtle following to the out-of-control coincidence of fates, this relationship contains too much beauty, but also too much tragedy and panic. The beginning of their fate was just like the movie recommended by Chen. The orphan heard a song on the radio. She fell in love with the voice, so she went to find her. After reading the end of the story, I wondered if Yingmei would have regretted it for a moment - if she had not followed Tie Yun, then a series of changes would not have happened. But then I thought that without Tie Yun, the good things in Yingmei's life would not have happened. My daughter has never died and will not be born. I will not be harassed or mistaken for cheating, but at the same time I will not be admitted to college. For example, when observing a star chart, people will see the tragedy and luck in their own destiny at the same time. When hearing the rumors about Tie Yun, Yingmei must have made some kind of determination. "I don't care, as long as it's hers." As long as I can follow her, no matter if it's unfortunate or fortunate, I'll take it all. What moved me very much was this paragraph: "Once again, he recommended me to read a book with more than 200,000 words in total. It was all about how a man played with an apple while sitting on a spring bed after get off work every day. On the first day, he regarded the apple as a star and used it as a reference system to modify the entire constellation. Picture; on the second day, he pretended that the apple was a woman's lips, and said all kinds of nice things to her, and was extremely frustrated because she refused to become softer; on the third day, he pretended that the apple was a book of "Don Quixote", pretending that he could see the words on it, and read it aloud in Spanish..." Yingmei changed her star map for Tie Yun and tried her best to follow him. When she finally reunited with Tie Yun, she was frustrated to find that she was still not as cool as Tie Yun. But in fact, what happened to Tie Yun didn't seem to be that important anymore. Because, most of Yingmei's life has been filled with too many shadows of Tie Yun. Even at the end of her life, after Tie Yun died of uremia, Ying Mei would still have various dreams about her own death. Many lovers in the world will use all kinds of fancy love tokens to remind themselves that they once had such an unforgettable relationship. But Yingmei doesn't have to. Her existence itself is a grand memorial to Yao Tieyun. Without Yao Tieyun, there would be no Du Yingmei, but similarly, without Du Yingmei, there would be no legendary Yao Tieyun.

Halfway through reading it, I was reminded of a post I saw on Hongshu not long ago. The poster said that she saw in Moments that her high school classmate gave her daughter the same name as the poster. The owner of the post is very nice. He helped this girl a lot in high school and was a very warm person. At that time, the girl said that she wanted to name her future girl. Unexpectedly, she actually did so many years later, even though they had almost no intersection or contact. In addition to all kinds of bad speculation, someone in the comment area said that we still don't know how many closeted lesbians live under the oppression of this patriarchal society without knowing their true sexual orientation until their death. Her expression of love for another girl may be that she stubbornly finds a man with the same surname as her (or maybe she is not stubborn but adds a lot of favorable impression points to the man because of this surname), marries this man and gives birth to a child, giving the child the same name, hoping that the daughter will grow up to be a warm and bright person like her. Marrying a man is a rule of life taught by society. It seems like it should be like this, and it must be like this. Naming my daughter is a sign of love that is deep and pathos and penetrates the soul. Will the facts be as we guessed? Did she have a similar psychological trajectory to Du Yingmei? Who can explain all this except Du Yingmei?

Oh my god I couldn't stop crying. . . Delicate and secret unrequited love, or chasing your ideal self, having a child for one person, going to college, and dreaming of your own death thousands of times after her death. This kind of love is too deep and has exceeded the scope of love.

I can't chase you, so I beg you to slow down and stay in the shadow of my ideal for as long as possible. And those secret loves, like running water, are lingering and pathos in countless days and nights that can be poured out. How beautiful is sadness, and what's wrong with being bright. It is the most difficult to reconcile with the tiny buds that grew out of the original root veins.

Secret longing, natural closeness, and subconscious following, as if they were lovers in the previous life. But what shocked me the most was not this relationship that had lasted nearly a lifetime, but the fact that when the old people who were new to the club said that a word "had to be divided into five times to pronounce it completely", their faces were "always like a rock under a waterfall".

Yao Tieyun is Du Yingmei's green light that never goes out. If there are rivers and seas in your heart, you have to let them flow out...

It has great stamina. I thought it was fluent and easy to read from the beginning. I couldn't help crying when I saw the old and widowed daughter Xianglin Sister-in-law, and even more so at the end. I began to understand the world because of you, even if your image was full of my projection and misunderstanding at first. When we grow old and lose everything, we end up becoming friends. A dramatic fate, countless unspeakable emotions and love can be described in just a few thousand words. But no matter what, all the major turning points in my life are related to you. You are the most important person in my life, truly.

I thought this kind of article would appear in some literary magazines. It is more like some serious literature than online articles, and the writing has a sense of simplicity, which is very beautiful.

I came across it when I read Xiaohongshu. Maybe my experience is still shallow and I can only capture some very hazy emotions, but I have experienced the feeling of longing for another person. So well written

If there are rivers and seas in your heart, you have to let them flow out.