[New Novel: Polygon, light sci-fi, complicated relationships, all-female cast. The leads include a law firm partner, a legal affairs manager, and an investor. Please add it to your collection!]
Everyone casts a shadow as they walk.
Chen Ruo'an is a meticulous master of computers, but she saves all her madness for the early hours, mountaintops, and nights.
Song Ci is a madwoman who loses herself onstage, only to suddenly miss a step and fall into the arms of someone supposedly mature beyond her years.
At nineteen, their feelings were swept along by haste. When they meet again, a single glance rekindles the flame. When they think it is all just for show, every fantasy is buried deep in the earth.
But you stopped. You got yourself drunk. You called out to me.
Only then did I realize that our possibilities seem to have always been with us.
Every intoxicating romance casts a shadow that cuts to the bone.
Another blurb:
It seems to take just one day to fall for someone.
One day to shed your own halo and pride, one day to sink into the depths of another person's heart.
What is your world like? In all this glitter and intoxication, it seems as if you are all that's left in the world.
Falling from the stage into a pile of cotton, injuring ligaments and knees, but only making the pleasure more intense. Every drink has a label. At nineteen, it was as if I had knocked over the heavens' wine jar, and then soaked my life in liquor.
Women are liquor, too.
Then what kind of liquor am I? What should my label say?
You are the maddest kind of person.
A madwoman.
The air in the whole room is shrouded, and I completely forget what was just said.
The contradiction lies in her absolute aloofness. If she cannot find someone who understands her, she simply stops trying. She collides with all kinds of people, but on the street, their figures blur together. Yet the most complete version of her, the one onstage, is consumed by a sense of being torn apart.
How strong and lonely must her heart be to endure life on a stage without an audience, repeating the same motions and layering scar upon scar? When she looks back, no one is there. It has always been this way, and by now she is used to it.
But then she hears her name.
"Why can't you..."
The spin comes to an abrupt halt. If the other person hadn't sounded like they were about to cry, she might have turned around with a smile.
"Why can't you stop and look at me?"
An empty audience, and a hazy figure in the furthest seat.
Only then does she realize that when you called her a madwoman, there was already someone in the world who understood her.
P.S. 1. All professional knowledge in this novel is fictional. The author's knowledge of computers, medicine, and other fields is not particularly extensive, so please forgive any errors.
2. The story is set around 2030, and same-sex marriage is legal in this world.
3. This is a companion novel to Song of Parting, with a few connections to Water Does Not Reflect the Moon. They share a city and the same world.
4. The younger lead is usually the pursuer, but the older lead takes the initiative two or three times.
Theme: Find yourself, find you.
Thoughts after reading Crazy Drinking At the beginning of the month, I searched online for articles about be, and some netizens recommended "Crazy Wine". When I was in high school, my online name was Little Madman, which seemed very familiar to me, so I searched for it. The stage I saw for the first time was so clear. When traveling, many scenic spots will also have large-scale performances. The quality may not be the same as Song Ci's dance drama, but there are similar places in other directions. In a performance with many people together, the costumes, dance moves, and lighting of the C position will all be different. The C position is very dazzling. In such a dazzling situation, Song Ci can be seen, which shows that Song Ci is even more dazzling. Yes, she was born to be on the stage, she was born to be so dazzling. As for Chen Ruo'an, a college student majoring in science and engineering - I always have some prejudices against science and engineering. I always feel bored and stubborn, and I have the stubbornness to go all the way. But Chen Ruoan is actually someone who can ride a tram to a mountain temple in the middle of the night to meet a stranger (after all, they have only met once)! So impulsive, so free, so romantic! Safety aside, that scene is so romantic. That scene is also the most heartwarming. It's a pity that they are about to separate. This is normal. For Song Ci at that time, enjoying dance and enjoying life were the most important things, and Chen Ruoan was just a kid who admired her. Although at the moment, this "appreciation" really brings tears to my eyes. But with Song Ci's talent and ability, of course more and more people will appreciate her. So when they met again later, I actually didn't understand why they fell in love. Maybe it was more of a physical love thing in the beginning? It's normal. Think about it, isn't the most attractive thing about Song Ci her wanton behavior? The physical harmony turns to the mental harmony, and slowly, it becomes more and more inseparable. There is a great sense of contrast, especially for Professor Chen. The contrast makes people feel very cute! The serious professor rode a small electric donkey to the theater to watch the show. Unbeknownst to her, the sparkling dancer on the stage was secretly looking for her face in the audience. They are all too good, and good people are very busy, so I think their daily life is too little. I felt very heartbroken for this. But after thinking about it, it seemed that it would be more heartbreaking if Song Ci gave up dancing and stayed at home with Chen Ruoan. Chen Ruoan's family is really nice, a family of educated people seems to be less chaotic after coming out as gay. I can clearly see that New Year's Eve dinner, the reserved younger brother, the enthusiastic mother and father, the gentle and considerate Chen Ruo'an, and Song Ci who really felt the respect and happiness. Song Ci still received too little love, but she was already so content. After seeing that there was a medicine to delay death, I already knew that Song Ci would give up. Looking at the back, sure enough. How could Song Ci, who was so proud, be willing to lose his dance? Although there are already many ties and reluctances, although I also try to live for love. But when you can't feel the dancing characters, when you feel that you are powerless, the feeling of despair is very painful. Song Ci has lived for dance since she was a child, how could she lose dance? I can't judge whether ideals or love are more important. In fact, I want to say that if they had not been separated for so many years, if they had been together from the beginning, maybe Song Ci could survive, right? If it was Chen Ruoan who accompanied Song Ci in those intervening years instead of dancing, then maybe Song Ci could survive? Unfortunately not. When I saw Song Ci give up the drug injection for the first time, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I said, "How could this happen? I know the author actually wanted to give them a good ending, but Song Ci held the author's hand and said no, please let me die brilliantly." After that it got out of hand. I feel like every word I read is leading to Song Ci's death. I know she will die, she knows she will die, and Chen Ruo'an also knows she will die. But Chen Ruoyuan didn't know. When death can be predicted, the sweet moments seem less sweet, especially when there are obviously other options but giving up, which is more painful than having no choice. So I blame Chen Ruoan. It's all your fault, Chen Ruo'an, do you know that the choice you gave will only put Song Ci in a dilemma in the second half of his life? Why would she put the medicine in the deepest part of the refrigerator? Do you hesitate every time you open the refrigerator? Every time she turns off the refrigerator, she actually kills herself. In fact, Chen Ruoan also knows, right? I think she should also know Song Ci's choice. Just like herself, she might just die of fatigue on the experimental platform where she struggled. She couldn't give up her ideal, so how could she be willing to let Song Ci give up her ideal? The author was kind enough not to describe the final fragment, but only wrote Song Ci's letter in profile. So it feels like Song Ci accepted death so calmly and full of planning. I was thinking, in those last days, maybe she was also looking forward to that day? One day, I slept so well that I didn't want to wake up. Chen Ruoan liked Song Ci because it was love at first sight. Song Ci liked Chen Ruoan. I think it was because of her warmth. So Song Ci, you don't necessarily need to meet Chen Ruoan again in your next life, but you must live in a warm and loving home. This life is still too bitter. Even if you are such an excellent dancer, even if you have so many fans, this life is still too hard. Song Ci.
This sentence touched my heart
It was four years ago, and there will be many memories. In fact, with Chen Ruoan's physical condition, they are destined to not be able to grow old together in the physical sense, right? (I don't mean to hope that scientists will leave early 😭)
To be honest, going to the temple together in the middle of the night (not to mention safety) is so romantic.
After reading the last chapter, everything has settled and I feel very relieved. I believe that at the moment when Song Ci said: "If it were you, I would live again.", She really made up her mind to spend more time with Chen Ruo'an. But Chen Ruo'an's reply: "I want you to live for yourself from the bottom of your heart, for the beautiful mountains and rivers you haven't seen yet, for the nights you haven't experienced, for the hugs you haven't had time to, the dances you haven't danced, the wine you have drunk but still think about..." On the contrary, it pushed her away. In fact, I feel that if Chen Ruoan said, "Okay, I want you to live for me." Then maybe Song Ci would struggle and hesitate more when he decided to give up the drug injection. But of course, I know that Song Ci will still give up. Song Ci is such a person. It is a gift from God for such a person to stay in his most beautiful years. Thanks to the author for creating such Song Ci, and thanks for the natural ending of BE. These are the top three novels I have read over the years.
Cherish what you have now. As for the future, it is far away and has many variables. You can put it aside for now.
It's great that they can still be together longer than I thought. It's great. But I cried. I haven't cried in a long time. Song Ci's departure made me so sad. It seems that I also love Song Ci very much.
It's so touching. The dormitory was a bit noisy when I was reading the first chapter, and I felt that I shouldn't read such an immersive novel in such an atmosphere.
Author, just kill me. The memories that followed caused me to shed tears again accidentally. My heart has already been touched by the character Saudi Arabia you wrote.
Hey hey hey, the author is great, there is something he can redeem himself hehe hehe 😏