You Asked Me to Make a Bad Movie, but I Made the Long March and Made the Whole Internet Weep

Independent director Su Ze accidentally binds himself to a “Cultural Export Loss Rebate System.” As long as his films lose money, he gets a tenfold cash rebate, making him rich in an instant! Determined to lose every cent of his five-million-yuan starting budget, Su Ze picks the most obscure and grueling documentary subject: the Long March! When investors make the unreasonable demands of shoehorning in popular celebrities and turning it into a camper-van road trip, he flips the table on the spot. “Don't you dare let capital insult history!” Defying a total ban across the internet, he spitefully recruits a group of pampered rich kids and influencers. He confiscates all their modern equipment and takes them straight into the snow-covered mountains and grasslands for an extreme ordeal. The whole thing spirals out of control. When the most spoiled rich kid breaks down in despair, chewing on a leather belt in front of the camera and weeping... This crude, three-hour film, uncut and without even a narrator, sets the entire internet ablaze in the middle of the night! Official media outlets, including the Communist Youth League, step in personally to set the tone. They praise it as a textbook for restoring the faith of young people in the new era! Countless netizens cry until they're utterly spent in front of their screens, while bullet comments blanket the display: “This is the true backbone of China! These are the stars worth following!” “I cried through two whole boxes of tissues! Our predecessors didn't shed their blood in vain. I'm booking out the whole theater for this movie today!” A wave of revenge spending sweeps the internet. Patriotic fervor is fully ignited, and the film shatters the box-office record for documentaries in China! Su Ze is on the verge of tears. Facing a battery of media cameras, Su Ze looks utterly despairing. “If I told you I only wanted to make a charitable film and lose a little money in the first place, would you believe me?”