Mortal: I, Lei Wanhe, Am Lying Down Cultivating Immortality

Every time, the protagonist is anxiously running around, going to Han Li's cave for negotiation. It feels like Han Li is like a leader, and the protagonist is like a younger brother. Let's see how Jiyin Island teaches his disciples.

After seeing Chapter 18, after the blood ban came out, I thought that Nangong Wan and Han Li were not together, so I thought about preparing to take Nangong in. It's really off-putting. Author, you can arrange the plot later. It's okay to accept Nangong by coincidence, and Hongfu's master and apprentice are also okay. But you have just started a few chapters and you are thinking about these things and forcibly distorting the protagonist's character and behavior. It is not easy to cherish writing a book after dissuading so many readers.

A harem is not a harem, neither is a single heroine/no heroine, you are invincible👍🏻

The writing of the novel is very average, and all the lightning points that should not be ignored have been stepped on. For example, if I find a surprise point, you can see if it is right. The first one shares the small green bottle, and the second teleportation array is shared with the sect.

This kind of insight will make you have no desire to read at first glance. You can just sit back and get something for nothing.

It's okay if you kill them all, but you have to prepare the ground well. What you write feels like "the devil's side has repeatedly shown mercy to this side, but because the person opposite is a "beautiful woman with palace makeup", you have a character that is not affected by beauty and violated the tacit understanding between the two parties and killed the person. If it is not a woman, you will not kill it." The biggest problem is to give the reader the feeling that the opposite side has repeatedly shown mercy.

I found a bug in the introduction! When Han Li gets the protagonist, he gets the enhanced version, right? After giving the enhanced version to Han Li, he got the enhanced version again! Isn't this going to get stuck?

I am a mortal fan fiction appraiser. The full score is 10 points. This one is 3 points. There are typos, mediocre writing, poor conception, character emotional lines, and the narrative is as light as water with nothing new. The protagonist is not strong at all. It has a sense of illusion. It's a hands-on exercise.

A Mortal's Journey to Immortality was serialized 18 years ago, and there are still people writing fanfics about it. . . Moreover, this book was not well-known at that time, and it was not found on the first page of online searches. Only when I came across a good platform and someone was willing to make animations did it become a little popular. . .

Why do people who write about mortals need to use the system? Can't they use some physical or talent skills?

When I see the name of the system host, I always feel that I will be taken over later.

It's impossible to live forever without resources, so grabbing the little green bottle is the right thing to do

Single or more, no heroine? If you don't reply, the default is no heroine.

There is no need to go to such trouble. Linghu can break through to the late Nascent Soul stage by himself, fight with the old devil Hehuan, and solve all the problems directly.

When mortals travel through time, everyone regards Dayan Jue as a treasure. Dayan Jue is actually useless. If it is useless, the major sects will have backups. Except for his spiritual roots, Han Li's other talents are all top-notch, and he has been promoted at least three times.

The only reason why mortals have such good grades is that the plot has ups and downs. If the stakes are too high, it would be unsatisfying.

There is a problem. Why should the property be placed on the shelf instead of being put in a storage bag and placed in a restricted area or carried by a high-level cultivator? Why is there no one guarding the warehouse? Why is there only one person at the entrance to the warehouse without a "password door" restriction? Why should it be hand-loaded and unable to be swept away by spiritual consciousness and taken into the hand? It's like a low-level martial arts warrior with an ancient background.

I feel that there is no need to train so many foundation-building disciples, just train a few pill-forming ones and Linghu's own cultivation. There wasn't such a big movement, and it wouldn't be exposed so quickly.

Open another one. No need to use plug-ins. It's still the thunder root plus the body of five thunders. The Lei Yunzi in the original work is equivalent to a protagonist.

Write fan fiction. When the system hangs up again, it basically ends up doing handstand splits.

All fellow Taoists are welcome to read!

As the title states, Big Eye Technique is garbage. How can a technique created by a mere Yuanying monk be any good? The history of the human world is so long, there have been so many god-transforming monks, so many ascended monks, there are so many great masters from the demon world and spirit world who came from the demon world and the spirit world in the refining and integration stage, and there are even saint ancestor skills.

Does Nangong Wan count as Han Li's opportunity? Can you give the protagonist feedback on the enhanced version of Nangong Wan?

Give Han Li a big treasure, return a better one, then give the better one to Han Li, and then return a more awesome one. Over and over again, the last person will get a great spiritual treasure, and the whole book is finished.

When you read Shuangwen without any brain, you can barely read it.

Who does the protagonist accept now?

If Han Li gets a wife, you can get an enhanced version.

Why is it only one chapter? Please update more🙀

Mortals: Cultivation of immortality begins with pirates, all over the world