Douluo: Peerless Time and Space

Hahaha, the author really wants to write a fan theme about this immortal cultivator traveling through Douluo. The writing of this book is obviously much better than the previous one. The previous one can basically be said to be straightforward, reading the plot like a robot. The protagonist of this book has a little more humanity, and the characters have a little more life. But for the current twenty chapters, I will talk about the problems that I personally think exist. First, since the protagonist feels that the competition in Wuhun Hall is fierce and the people around him have low vision and unclear understanding, why not ask more and explore more to understand more clearly? Is this the kind of city a mature soul traveler should have? So sure. Okay, let's take a step back, even if the competition is fierce, where will the resources for cultivation come from? If you don't go to the Wuhun Palace to get the most comprehensive knowledge and resources, you can dig them out of the ground yourself? Second, as a time traveler with "special skills" like Tang San, at least the expressiveness of these special skills should not be weaker than Tang San. In the original work, the Xuantian Technique, Purple Demon Eyes, Xuanyu Hands, etc. Were very expressive from the beginning. This is "hanging", which is the part that makes the protagonist different from ordinary people. Your protagonist's performance is very shallow. From the current point of view, the so-called "different from ordinary people" part is only the innate soul power, including the so-called mature soul traveler's palace and calculations, which are not reflected much. In short, it is still too bland. It can be seen that the author wants to write something of his own, but the imagination and expressiveness of writing still cannot support the plot. Tell me some of my suggestions, ① If you are short of writing skills, you should quickly connect the plot with the main characters of the original work, touch it more or less, or pass it by in one stroke. This is a kind of "attraction". After all, it is a fan novel. What readers want to see is the changes in the fate of the characters and plots in the original plot, rather than a bunch of irrelevant content and self-created characters (unless you construct characters that readers like). ② The so-called abilities brought by immortal cultivators must be reflected, at least in terms of expressiveness, it cannot be weaker than the "Tang Sect's unique skills". ③Are there too few psychological activities and thoughts of the protagonist? Whatever you encounter, well, think about it, understand it roughly, and do it. This is a big question, where are the distinctive character traits that come from time travel? After all, Tang San has always had a famous saying (he already has a way to die), but he always follows the Tang Sect's code. What is your protagonist's performance in the original world? Probably so, for reference only.