Making a Demon God in Tokyo

What nonsense is there to talk about if there is no book about recovery? Monsters, hidden families, hidden organizations, nonsense about things that happened in the past. The protagonist has all the fruit powers of One Piece, but they are elementary and need to be developed. One person cannot develop them, so the fruits are given to others and can be taken back at any time. This is it, and you have to pretend to be a ghost. The protagonist only needs to receive the victory fruit. Others will find a reason to convince themselves, and then just give the fruit to the people who like it. Everyone has a stand, and they will face off against other fruit-ability users. Their abilities will be developed in battles, and they will be taken back after death, and then they will continue to be divided. Now they are making up stories and saying that you are a monster or something. Why do you have to make up a story for Tokyo people for five thousand years?

It's already 2025, and our current behind-the-scenes novels have to be explained by the protagonist. This is too petty. The Lord God Dao told you many years ago that as long as you put up a shelf, they will naturally guess. There is no need to explain at all. It is embarrassing to explain this thing, and if you do more, you will make more mistakes.

He gave the women around him extraordinary abilities, which was the starting point of the divine tree's thunder.

The author really didn't learn the lessons from the previous book. The setting of the girlfriend is the same at the beginning. Don't write multiple female protagonists and not recommend any of them. Later, let the girlfriend come out to pretend to be a vest, and then don't kill anyone. That's really too poisonous. It's not as good as the male protagonist of the previous book. Although she is a female protagonist, she is not human. It's time to have sex, there's not so much flirting and ambiguity, the heroine can be single or multiple, but if you want to eat and eat, don't describe too much about your girlfriend, otherwise it will be offensive, and this is also Pirates Goldfinger, so for those who haven't read One Piece or don't like to read it, they will find it even more difficult to read.

Thoughts after reading To be honest, I have been reading this novel not long after I started writing it, and I followed it from the novel "I Planted a Sacred Tree in Tokyo". This novel has 1.12 Million words so far, and there are some words that I really can't say. If you ask me about my impression of this novel, my opinion is: chaotic, boring, and frustrating The main problems are as follows: first, the main line is confusing, the main line is scattered and messy; second point: the division of strength is confusing, and the battle is not exciting; third point, frustrated; fourth point: insufficient participation of the protagonist; fifth point: curiosity and disgusting First of all, the first point is that the main line is confusing, and the story line is scattered and messy. For example, there are 86 chapters in the Rose Garden Competition from the beginning to the time when someone enters and ends up living in the fairy tale world. However, only half of them are actually about the Rose Garden. What's even more uncomfortable is that the plots are intermittent. There are also the birth of "Super Killer Ninja", the American Biohazard, the death of the director, the establishment of the Kingdom of Hell, the birth of the Hero Association, the transformation of the planet, the division of the United Kingdom, etc., And these plots are also divided into multiple parts and described separately. The Ekigaoka storyline is also like this, but it is not so exaggerated. To be honest, if you just divide the big plot of the Rose Garden into two parts, separated by other plots, I can accept it. If you divide it into three parts, I will barely accept it. If you divide it into four parts, it will be very uncomfortable. If you say that the story of the Rose Garden is very exciting, too exciting to be written in a short time, and you end each chapter with a climax, I can accept it. But is the plot of the Rose Garden really worth dividing it so much? I don't think your writing is very exciting. Instead, I feel that the word count is too high. Every time the plot jumps, I even need to recall where I have written before. I have to say that your writing technique is a complete failure in my opinion. For example, if the plot of Ye Fan becoming emperor in "Shading the Sky" is such a climax story, if the author split it into a dozen parts, and then switches to other scenes excessively after surviving a wave of thunder tribulations, and kills a wave of enemies and then switches, what would you think? Will you be called a dog by readers? Will you be scolded for splitting up the plot like this? In short, after reading this section, which is divided into ten parts and mixed with other plots, my expectations and excitement were greatly diluted. I don't think your writing skills are superb, nor do I admire your control of the plot through multi-line descriptions. I just find it scattered and boring. In my impression, one of the most common words that many readers use to criticize the author in paragraph reviews is "out of context dog"? Cut it off as soon as the key point is reached. It is actually very bad character to write like this. I don't want to say something too unpleasant, but as an author, do you think writing like this will be friendly to readers? In addition to showing off your skills as an author, have you considered the reading experience of readers? The second problem with the main line is that it is scattered. In my impression, most novels constantly expand the map. From novice villages to towns, to international metropolises, to countries, planets and so on. Not to mention all, most of them are like this, right? The expansion of the map is not only the increase of the stage, but also the means of combining various characters, plots, and grudges. The main plot of the small map is completed, and a hook extends to the next big map. After the main plot of the big map is completed, it echoes the small map. This is a good novel, right? And what about you? Open several main lines at the same time and then switch back and forth? The more scattered the plot is, the more boring it becomes. Small stories connect the big climax, telling one story after another, and filling in the big plots with small stories. I think this is how to write a real novel, right? The resurrection and return of Abe Seimei, the biohazard of the United States, the divine war in another world, and some minor branches: Oda Nobunaga's Tenkabubu, the return of the sea king class, the fury of the forest, the country of whirlpool, etc. Too many main lines equals no main line! Does every story make readers wait? Are you reading novels just waiting for you to fill in the gaps? Normally when you write a novel, you are not like you. You can give several introductions, but you still have to focus on one story. Even if it cannot be solved, there is a legitimate reason to stop, rather than just putting it aside and going directly to describe the next plot. I really don't have the patience to read your book. One story follows another, with small stories connecting the big climaxes, and countless clues connecting the next climax. Is Moving Together Really Telling a Story? The 108 generals in "Water Margin" are not like this, right? Stories are often written based on characters and plot. You didn't mention writing seven or eight different characters in different scenes at the same time, right? Too much and too messy. You must know that too many clues equals no clues, too many main lines equals no main line, and too many protagonists equals no protagonist. A normal story should be like a pearl necklace, connecting the big and small stories together, rather than countless pearls rolling down together, making a mess on the ground. Second point, the division of strength Speaking of strength, I have a lot to complain about. First of all, the division of strength is very vague. Now it has 1.12 Million words. Can you give me a classification standard? What I wrote before is all rubbish and cannot correspond to the real strength at all. It's also best to change the names. You can change them to "dog, wolf, tiger, ghost, dragon, god" from the previous book. That would be great. Why use paper instead of strong and violent gods? Another point is that the writing of the battle process is a bit awkward. The Tokyo book is quite good. Why is this book so abstract? You can't get the growth of the main character's abilities at all, the joy of growth, nor can you get the feeling of refreshment brought by the special mechanisms of various Devil Fruits. It's really boring The third point is frustration When I say frustration, I don't mean that the protagonist is frustrated, but that the positive character is frustrated. Under normal circumstances, we all hope that the protagonist camp can be victorious and happy, but there are some exceptions in this book, because it is behind the scenes, and it is If there is a relatively small plot, then the reader's appeal should be that justice triumphs over evil. But if you count the positive characters in it, Tenma hopes to change his gender, Jinbe separates from his wife and daughter, Director Huang Quan meets, Super Killer is chased and beaten, Haikou pursues all kinds of weird things, Hinako splits into two, and Steve takes his sister to escape. How to put it, you have to say that they are living a very bad life, it seems that it is not, but why do you always feel that none of them are living a very comfortable life? I really can't understand the author's thinking. What's the point of writing like this? And I think, even if your writing is a bit frustrating, you should at least use humor to dilute the overly realistic feeling, right? There is really no motivation to read a novel like this. I am already numb and aggrieved in reality. How can I feel so aggrieved while reading a novel? And even if it is accurate to the individual, I feel that the description of the characters is very dull, the growth in it feels very vague, the growth in strength feels abstract, and the character's personality is not very obvious. Just like the previous book, Kafka Lu will never forget his original intention, Master Shixiu achieves enlightenment and saves all sentient beings, Yagyu Onoda's transformation, Mai's continuous growth, Kukora Ai's self-destruction, are all full of character arcs. The balance between their setbacks and growth is very good, not too aggrieved, and the character arcs are also brilliant and impressive. Generally speaking, shouldn't the highlight of a novel be the growth of the protagonist? But when I look at this book again, I see no growth in the protagonist, and the supporting characters are very aggrieved. What on earth is this about? The fourth point is the protagonist's participation I remember that in the last book Tokyo, there was always a main line, which was to plant a sacred tree and then continue to grow. Growth is the main line. With this main line, even if the protagonist's participation is not enough, although I wanted to abandon the book several times, I could barely do it, but what about this one? What about the protagonist's presence? It's completely like a passerby NPC who focuses on explaining. The fifth point, nausea and curiosity I really don't know the author's mental state. To be honest, I felt a little uncomfortable when I saw the transgender sword. By the time I got to the Rose Garden, I already wanted to abandon the book and see the various strange operations of the mandarin. Even if I want to restore the plot and character of the comic, there is no need to do this, right? I have never read Rose Garden comics before, but in my opinion, fans of this novelty style should be relatively niche, right? In short, as an ordinary person, it is quite uncomfortable to watch. I don't mean to belittle, I really feel that way. Maybe you want to write about the weirdness and openness of the West, but can you be more restrained? Even if you don't think about the readers, you still have to pay attention to the river crab master, right? There is also Hinako, even if she split into two, the plot is also very uncomfortable, and the beast hands, branding, etc. Also make people feel uncomfortable. In short, this book really makes me feel like I don't want to keep pursuing it. I don't know when I will give up the book. I have been reading this book for so long. I really don't want to get to that point. I hope the author can face up to the problems I mentioned above...

Let's talk about the emotional line. Read a few chapters. The male protagonist steals the original protagonist's emotional line, which makes people feel sick and want to vomit. You really treat other people's things as yours. It is better to write about restoring past life memories. The author doesn't know how to write emotional lines. The evaluation of the love line is a piece of shit.

One Piece's power is really too low

I actually don't understand how the two sisters around the protagonist view the protagonist? If you really have liked someone since you were a child, can you always like someone as long as they have the same face? The protagonist, the man who occupies the magpie's nest, is also very at ease. He feels that it is taken for granted. He has a feeling of pretending to be deep and a loser's dream, imagining that the women around him will like him for no reason. Like the sacred tree, the female character is devoted to the protagonist. As for why, there is no reason and it depends purely on the setting. There is a sense of fragmentation where everyone is an NPC.

It's boring, it's just pretentious, and there's nothing new. It's better to just use the fruit's power casually and let them bleed like a river.

I just want to see blood flowing like a river, not being a turtle boy rescuing a girl.