Douluo Dalu: This Soul Master Has a Hearty Appetite

Joining Shrek Academy was irritating from the start. Ning Rongrong's spoiled princess attitude, Dai Mubai's provocations, Ma Hongjun's foul mouth, etc. The protagonist, on the other hand, has a very good temper; he didn't say anything harsh, had a fight with Dai Mubai, and gently advised Ning Rongrong. As for Ma Hongjun, he completely ignored him. I want to see rivers of blood! Not a gentle and polite protagonist.

I don't understand why we should go to Shrek Academy. What's the point? We'll just be watched by Tang Hao. Wouldn't it be better to go directly to Heaven Dou City? We could intercept Dugu Yan and get the immortal herb.

Five years of complete silence from Jack – isn't he devastated? After leaving the Star Dou Great Forest, there should have been a transitional storyline to flesh out the characters. Directly introducing Shrek Academy feels abrupt and gives the impression that you're rushing things. Don't be so hasty; write according to the outline, breaking it down into smaller sections.

If you're a commoner genius, your best options are either to join the Spirit Hall or to seduce Ning Rongrong. Without any background, you're challenging the rules of an empire. Even if Dai Mubai was abandoned, he was definitely being monitored by the Star Luo Empire until his battle with Davis was over. Trying to sabotage their relationship would only lead to your death. So how could this protagonist possibly still be alive?

Starting with a powerful poison-infused twin martial soul and a physical body... Even if it's useless, it can't possibly be only level one.

How could twin martial souls possibly have only level one soul power? If you only had level one, what would you be doing awakening twin martial souls? Powerful martial souls would never have such low soul power, otherwise they would degenerate.

Tang Hao already knows about your twin martial soul potential, and you have conflicts with Tang Sanyu, Xiao Gang, and the dung beetle, making you a huge threat. Don't think Tang Hao will spare you, or that Qibao won't kill you. In a normal, real world, you'd be 100% dead, unless it's a mindless story.

The premise was good, but it's a pity. The combination of a physical spirit and a weapon spirit is a great premise, but it's very confusing. If you wanted to oppose the Tang Dynasty, you should have established that stance. However, I didn't understand what you were writing. Actually, from the moment you took Tang Hao to the Ice and Fire Yin-Yang Well, I knew you were writing poorly.

In the early stages, when you're weak, don't avoid petty thugs. Jumping around in front of them will either get you killed by hidden weapons or crushed to death by rats. For a nobody like the protagonist, avoiding petty thugs in the early game is the smart thing to do. Mindlessly jumping around is practically putting your life in the hands of a rat.

It's only natural that the transmigrator and Tang San are enemies. Unless they never interact again, they're bound to be enemies. If they do interact, who knows when they might offend Tang San and be killed? If they accidentally injure Xiao Wu, who always rushes to the front, during a spirit battle or competition, Tang San will definitely retaliate.