The Son of Death at Hogwarts

In Chapter Seven, the Dark Lord, seeking retribution for those he had wronged, succumbs to the poison and dies.

How could the son of Death go to Hufflepuff... It just doesn't make sense.

Can anyone give me some feedback? I can't see anything wrong with what I wrote...

Is this book primarily driven by romance? ... Otherwise, I don't see the need for such a high proportion of romantic scenes. The character design and plot are closer to a female-oriented genre.

Here's a piece of advice: When writing about children's feelings, don't always show them kissing and hugging. Writing about playful fighting and mischievous pranks (not bullying like "tying a girl's hair to a chair") or sneaky physical contact (like "the teacher occasionally poking her during class") is better than kissing.

The description is misleading; it claims to be "slightly sweet," but it's actually sugar-free. No more sugar can be added.

There are a lot of romantic scenes, which makes it a bit distracting for viewers.

Damn, more than half the chapter is just kissing. Am I reading Harry Potter fanfiction or Liu Bei's novel?

What kind of disgusting thing is this, with all the "milk fragrance," "puppy," and "kitten" kissing?

I feel you're better suited to writing campus romance novels; your stories might be even better that way.