Got Fucked by Hermione After Turning the World Upside Down at Hogwarts

I have read about seventy chapters, and I don't know if the author is a new author. If so, it is okay to write it as it is now. If it is a new account of an old man, I feel that it has failed. From a reader's point of view, I personally feel that the description of details, especially the description of all aspects of the characters, is very simple and not full, especially when the villains appear one after another, as if they have insufficient IQ. If it is about the group of children around the protagonist, it is okay, but the part about catching Voldemort is like setting up a trap to catch a wild boar. Also, the portrayal of the protagonist's parents is very stereotyped and rough. In other words, when the protagonist behaves, the parents should react accordingly. I think as the protagonist should be the most important character beside the heroine, why do I feel that the protagonist's parents are like subordinates. Furthermore, the climax of each part of the plot should be the emergence of contradictions and conflicts, such as threatening Old Crouch, capturing Voldemort, conquering Fudge, the minister's election before and after, etc. If you know the original work, it's easy to say, but if you don't, it can only be said to be too pale. In the final analysis, the excitement of the novel lies in the rivalry between people. The more profound the characters are portrayed and the more intense the conflict, the more exciting the novel will be. In fact, the author wrote the emotional scene between the heroine and the hero very profoundly, but maybe it was because it was so profound that he neglected the characterization of other people. I personally suggest that the author take a look at HP's other fanfics. There are very good references for the author. I wish the author better and better at the starting point.

But it's a pity that the writing style is not very good, and the AI ​​flavor is too strong.

Is it too deserted? (><) Then let me send you some good ones! ₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄ᗣ‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Following the comments of the Guardian Knight brother, I feel that this is a pretty good Hermione cook seedling, so cheers for the author.

What you like is not the original Hermione, who is indeed not beautiful, but the Emma. Although Emma is not good in character, she is good in appearance.

Me and my Grapevine Wand in the Yard of Eagles

Complaints about the original work The savior should be Harry Potter's mother, Lily, right? Hey, I get angry when I talk about this. The defensive magic on Harry Potter was imposed by his mother. It was this defensive magic that saved Harry Potter, and also reflected the Killing Curse and beat Voldemort to a pulp. In the end, people didn't say much about Lily, but praised Harry Potter... Why not praise Lily? I'm really speechless, and I don't know what the original author's logical thinking is.

The aborigines... Their heads are really strong...

Ah... Are they really not updated anymore...

I just like this unabashed title

Fantasy novels are basically written about daily life, and when reading Harry Potter fan fiction, I like to read about magic. There is a reason for my poor performance.

Long Ao Tianwen is difficult to write. The difficulty lies in the conflict between the main line and daily life, and the conflict between the emotional line and the career line. How to smoothly transition from a passionate and fierce battle to a sweet daily life is the biggest difficulty. In my opinion (just my personal opinion) the author's handling is not very good, of course this is inevitable, but I hope to see the author's progress in future chapters. In addition, in the chapters before entering Hogwarts, there are many times where the protagonist enters the study to meet his father to indicate the progress of the career line to the readers. This is too straightforward and blunt. A blunt transition can easily cause emotional discontinuity, and emotional discontinuity will cause a sense of fragmentation in the story. I hope the author can polish the transition skills in the future. In addition, I hope to be sure what kind of article this is. The main line is career, so let feelings be the embellishment. This does not mean giving up daily life, but using daily life as a dessert between meals to relax a little in the tension. If the main line is daily life (I kind of hope to have a daily HP book, there are really too few), then it is best to write less about career (this point depends on the author himself). If the author wants to focus on both ends, I am not optimistic. Without a deep writing skills, it will definitely become two different things, and the writing will be very confusing. Finally, I hope the author can read it and accept it or not. It's tiring to type so much. (The author's daily writing is very sweet, some people kicked me, I want to watch the extra 🙂)

Is this guy the same guy? It's almost 8 months

It's too fragmented, in every aspect. The eight-year-old native, who was three or a few years old, stayed in the room with almost no social interaction. He only read books and kept company with a cat. Then he discovered a way to control the Obscurus, killing people and taking souls. His parents listened to what he said. After he came out, he had to control the Ministry of Magic before he entered school at the age of 11. It was outrageous. Why don't you give the protagonist a time traveler, an adult soul, is it reasonable to do this at the age of eight? And he is not an eight-year-old child who has been deliberately cultivated by his family since he was a child. He is an eight-year-old child who has been in solitary confinement since childhood. Even if the protagonist is ridiculously precocious and born a child prodigy, don't his parents have any doubts? In the HP world, there are spells that can manipulate people, such as the soul-stealing curse. His parents, a pure-blood wizard family, saw their son behave like this without any training. Shouldn't his first reaction be to check whether his son had been tampered with or bewitched? There is also the emotional line, the same problem, eight years old, both the protagonist and Hermione. The two of them developed a completely inexplicable and completely unreasonable way of forcing each other to give out sweets. Assuming childhood sweethearts, after all, there is a process from playmates to being together. Even if white people grow up quickly, two eight-year-old children will not grow into adults. It's okay to say they are cute, but the rest is a bit nonsense. Currently I have read Chapter 20, something like 'The Knight Who Will Always Protect You', 'Her Lady Queen', 'Qianying', 'Jade Feet'... And the like. If you let the protagonist develop to attend Hogwarts for a year or two, at least the two of them will grow up to be teenagers and do this. It is perfectly fine, but at eight years old... Please find an elementary school, randomly select two second and third grade students, and imagine that they will do this. Finally, it can be seen that the author is a complete newcomer (if not, it can only be said that he is really not suitable for this bowl of rice). There are too many settings and it is too messy. Everything is crammed into it, which seriously affects the reading experience. In the early stage, the focus was on killing people and taking souls, and solving the problem of Obscurus was enough. As a result, it was necessary to develop modern troops. Moreover, when Grindelwald was apprenticed, the other party said "kill the gods". It was speechless. It was too fragmented to make trouble while also taking into account the target. It is strongly recommended that the author learn how to do subtraction before opening the book next time.

As the author, I would like to recommend my own book, "Hogwarts Global Project", which is a warm and joyful book with many self-created main lines and is not related to the main character. I hope everyone will like it. I shamelessly ask for it to be collected and read. It would be better if you have some pointers.

Take a chance and don't stop updating!

The writing in the first few dozen chapters is a bit immature. Can anyone who has read it tell me if there is any improvement in the future?

This book is still very good to read, but you have too many typos and omissions. I feel it is better to check it before posting, which affects the reading experience a bit. Everything else is pretty good. The emotional lines are also well written.

The protagonist is well-dressed and well-fed, and there is no possibility of him becoming an obscurant.