Warhammer: Me, a Peasant of Bretonnia

Here comes the skeleton joke😘 Three skeletons met One said: "I serve under Count Manfred." The second said: "I am a Praetorian Guard under the Emperor." The third said: "I am a Bretonnian farmer, and I am a living person."

At the age of 18, you went to college. 20 years old, your sophomore year is over, and you start to regret your childish behavior in the first two years so you start working hard 22 years old you graduate from college, but find that cannot find a job that satisfies you Work 26 years old, You see everyone around you getting married, The cost of the wedding increases year by year Going home during the Spring Festival, your parents changed from taking you to visit relatives to taking you to meet your blind date Meeting more than a dozen girls Every time you feel that you are a little worse than that girl 28 years old That year, you met a girl who had a similar experience to you You guys chatted together but not together She said: You are not bad You He took a sip of Coke and said: You too You are not sure whether you like her yet The parents of both parties have already arranged an engagement party The week before the wedding, you went out to drink with your friends You said you didn't want to get married, My friend said, you just think too much. Who didn't come here like this? This life. 29 years old, You finally got married. The wedding was neither big nor small, with just a few friends coming I have saved money for several years to realize my dream Take a ride In this private temple party of 100 people The wedding was in the middle The emcee wore a standard commercial smile He shouted to the relatives and friends in the audience: Do you want them to kiss each other? Those people in the audience started cheering together I don't know why you simply kissed me The two of them returned to their original position You whispered: I love you I couldn't understand that one yesterday. You flipped the model bride stood for a moment and said: I love you too You weren't sure if she said it to you Just like you weren't sure if she said it to her After the wedding, there was no romance as you imagined You listen to the bride in the outer room calculating her share of the money Thinking about how it has only been two years, How did it become like this? Thinking about it, I fell asleep on the wedding night 30 years old, She quit her job because she was pregnant. Work and raise babies at home You gradually gain some status in the company Manage a dozen people in your hands Responsible for a project independently The car worth about 200,000 yuan that was given as a dowry before marriage has become your sole possession. Enjoy But you still dare not relax Every time you work overtime There are complaints and grievances on the other end of the phone But you can't argue about anything Who made her pregnant with your child At this moment Both her parents and your parents are on this side unconditionally 31 years old, The child was born I spent 100,000 yuan on pregnancy tests and hospital expenses But it doesn't matter You look at your child, You like it however you like You are as happy as if this is your new baby 32 years old, This is the year you least want to repeat in your life Sleep 3 hours on average The child makes a fuss every hour The next day he drags his eyes out of sleep Go to work and the boss says you don't work at work When you go home, your wife says you don't work You have been thinking for a long time and don't understand, then who will do the work? The car that you have been driving for 3 years has become your real home You no longer complain about the heavy traffic on the road You even begin to wish to be stuck in traffic for a while longer Go home , you turned off the engine Lighted a cigarette in the car This is the happiest ten minutes of your day In front of the car is fame and wealth, in the back is firewood, rice, oil and salt 35 years old Because your health is getting worse You work less and less overtime The speed of promotion is getting slower and slower After get off work that day, your wife told you The child is going to kindergarten Bilingual, 3,000 a month You frowned, and you were already impatient Lao Wang's children, 6,000 a month" "You are already like this, do you want your children to lose too? " You didn't say anything, and went back to the house and transferred 6,000 yuan to your wife With this money, you originally planned to celebrate your birthday and buy a new computer 38 years old, The child is in the first grade The teacher said that the first grade is the most critical, and it is important to lay a good foundation You smiled and said, yes, yes, teacher, please take more care of me The teacher who welcomed the new students looked at your confused face and pointed out a clear way for you "Extracurricular tutoring class, 2200 a month" 40 years old The child is in the third grade The teacher said that the third grade is the most important, it is very important to connect the past and the next You smiled and said: Yes, yes, I am planning to sign up for another cram school 44 years old, The child is in junior high school One day when he comes home, he says to you Dad, I want to learn piano You have no hesitation You think you have gotten used to it over the years But you can never say the sentence "Dad can't afford it now" Fortunately, the child is more sensible He said: Dad is fine, how about I learn the ocarina first You look at such a sensible child, but you are not happy 46 years old, The child went to a good high school One day you were in a meeting and received a call from the teacher The phone said that your child had a fight in school Telling you to go there br> You are submissive Take a leave with the leader who is 5 years younger than you Go to school and get scolded by the teacher again It's just that line As parents, you know your work and whether you can accompany your children You look at this teacher, it's a bit ridiculous It seems that he said at that time: Parents have to work hard outside He is not the same person who earns more money to let his children take extra classes 50 years old, The child went to college Very impressive, he is an academic You can't understand the major he studied You only know that a job may not be easy to find And the tuition is too expensive You and him wanted to chat late at night Prepared half a catty of white wine and a plate of peanuts You said the words you hated the most You still have to think about your future work Choose a popular major Life is more important than love You went from communication to quarreling You found that you are old You are so old that you may not be able to beat this 18-year-old kid You can't talk to him, you can only say: I am your father! The kid looks at you and knows that no matter how much you argue, it is useless The drinking party that established your final authority broke up on bad terms You didn't hear it clearly On the way back to his house, the kid seemed to muttered "I don't I want to live like you" Why are you crying? You are 50 years old It must be that the wine is too spicy, right It must be that the wine is too spicy 55 years old, My child is working, and I seem to understand you a little bit But you turned it around, you said not to compromise 56 years old, The child is also married You ask him if he likes that girl He was stunned and said: Yes 60 years old, I have worked hard all my life and want to go out for a walk The person next to me has been 30 years old You still can't tell whether you like it or not You start planning travel routes This After so many years You still have differences and quarrels At some moment, you think This might be good Everything is ready The son said: Mom and Dad, I am too busy at work Can you help me take care of the child You canceled the tickets and went back to 30 years ago 70 years old, The children have grown up, You don't have to worry about it every day You make up your mind and say: you must go for a play But the crutches at hand can only support you to walk to the garden downstairs 75 years old, You are in the hospital bed There are people gathering around you, You saw the doctor shaking his head in a daze The people around you looked solemn You understand, you are going to die You didn't feel a trace of fear You suddenly asked yourself, When did I die? You remembered the wedding at the age of 30 Original Come, then, you will die According to the customary 3 seconds before death, your brain will go through a revolving door Recall your 75 years of life The pictures pass one by one One second, two seconds and two seconds pass You look at the memories of these two seconds with an expressionless face At the third second, suddenly you laugh It turns out that you have gone back to the year when you were 15 years old You saw a boy He was holding a bag of milk and carrying a schoolbag Running under the balcony of another girl's house The boy looked in the window That was the girl you had a crush on when you were 15 years old You can't remember what she looked like The last second you tried hard to remember Then you finally laughed 3 seconds passed and the people around you suddenly started crying You may not be able to hear clearly The last noisy sound you heard It was a group of teenagers in their fifteenth or sixteenth year Laughing and making noise, they said: Let's watch Warhammer: Me, the old farmer in Baator.

Two or three things you need to know about the rebellion in Baator 1: Who are the enemies and who are the friends You have rebelled, so you must be prepared for the possibility of fighting the Bretonnian knights. Your enemies include: mountains of militia teams and old peasant archers, many heavily armed tin can knights, living saints-Holy Grail Knights, and Palaon's Pegasus Knights. The Bretonnian fleet will block all your intentions at sea (when the cannon fires, this thing is much better than the lance), supported by Carcassonne's magic. The Lake Lady is always ready to buff your enemies. Your teammates: Serfs with weak morale, they are ready to tie you up at any time to atone for your sins. 2: The corruption of Chaos is everywhere When you have a system, even if the system is not Tzeentch's pleasure, please note that revolution is a change, and the power of this change is enough for Tzeentch to throw a big demon in to play. The more change there is, the happier Tzeentch becomes. If you also engage in massacres and indulge in beauty, then there will definitely be a lot of excitement around you. 3: Revolutionary Base If your revolutionary base is in the plains, you will experience what thundering horse hooves are like. It only takes a kingdom to bring dozens of chivalrous people, which is enough to smash your formation for several rounds. If you are in a forest or swamp, the natural environment of Bretonnia is very harsh, and monsters will spawn in these places. Your troops will soon be overwhelmed by the enemy's human wave tactics.

If you want data, don't be so young. All you see is licking nobles. The system is of no use. The troops are not your own. You are not mixed up with anything. You are talking about the rules of Bator. It doesn't need to be in Bator. The routes are not all designed by the author. Won't everyone feel comfortable if they end it early and go to the empire to get ahead?

From the beginning, I felt very uncomfortable when I saw the protagonist kneeling and licking the nobles in various ways. It became even more disgusting in Chapter 50. Author, are you a literary youth? Do we have to rely on this question method to screen readers? Is it a pleasure to write a torture article or something?

I really didn't expect to write it with the old farmer Ba Tuo as the protagonist. Ba Tuo's deduction is outrageous. Do you know the joke about the three skeletons?

If you are close to the dwarves, you will stay away from the greenskins, and this is why the empire prospers. If you are close to the greenskins, if you stay away from the dwarves, this is why the goblins will fall. When the late master was here, every time he discussed this matter with his ministers, he always sighed and hated the green skin. The Holy Grail, the Pegasus, the Lion's Heart, and the Foot Fight, these are all capable of resisting and attacking the ministers. I hope my dear Lord, I believe in them, and then Baator's rise can be calculated and waited for. I am an old farmer, working hard at Bato, working hard at Cologne, and not asking for knowledge and success among the lords. The old lord did not think that he was despicable, and he was in vain. The former master knew that his ministers were capable of fighting, so he sent the ministers a request for important matters when he was about to die. Since the recruitment, he had been lamenting all night long, fearing that the entrustment would not be effective and hurting the former master's wisdom, so he crossed the sea in May and went deep into the green skin. Now that the green skin has been established and the soldiers and armor are sufficient, I will lead the old peasants as rewards, slaughter the high-ranking elites from the west, and exhaust the common people and dull people. I will get rid of Teddy, revive Bato, and return to the old capital. This minister is repaying the honor of his ancestors and being loyal to him. As for resisting the line and being beaten, jumping left and right, the Holy Grail, Pegasus, Lion Heart, and Foot Fight are all left to do. I hope that the master will entrust me with the effect of bringing peace and prosperity to the country. If it does not work, I will punish the minister for his crime, so as to sue the spirit of the late master. If there is no cannon fodder, blame the Holy Grail, Pegasus, Lion Heart, Foot Fight, etc. For their slowness to show their fault. It is also advisable for the master to make his own plans, seek advice from chivalry, drink foot-washing water frequently, and follow the late master's instructions deeply. I am deeply grateful for my kindness. Now we are marching westward, weeping before we win, knowing what we are talking about. (reprinted from steam)

Even if you kneel down and lick her on the surface, in your heart you are scolding me and I won't say anything. It's just making money, so don't shudder. What does it mean that you are also kneeling and licking in your heart?

I feel like the author's idea is, why are you scolding me for kneeling down and licking the master? The Warhammer world cannot rebel. If you don't rebel, you will be working as a foreigner. You are 007 every day. I didn't play you to sudden death and you killed me instead. I feel so sorry for you.

The author does not have a good grasp of the psychological activities of the protagonist towards the "nobles". What the readers want is a sense of substitution. How can the readers be brought into the story by the heavy psychological servility? In the Warhammer worldview, if you continue to abuse the master, the protagonist will kneel down and lick the nobles no matter how hard he wants to develop his power and get the upper hand. I think it's all OK. But when you describe the protagonist's psychological activities towards the nobles, you cannot write like this. The former is a hero who can endure for the sake of strength. The back is really servile.