Mortal: Mo Juren Wins the Game at the Beginning

After reading the latest chapter, let me tell you briefly. The novel is good. It travels through Mo Juren + the bloodline promotion of mortal monsters + the creative management flow of Fu Lu. These three points are the main highlights and advantages. However, there are several shortcomings: 1. The combat system and combat description are not good The monster bloodline system is a new system originally created by the author, so the design has many immature aspects: 1. Promotion is immature Now in the chaotic star sea, the highest level of bloodline is obviously suppressing the progress. The promotion method is blood + auxiliary materials. The blood is forcibly suppressed by the author's plot needs; and the auxiliary materials are mentioned casually, without more description, and the sense of existence is very low. ——The result is that the fun points developed are getting worse and worse. 2. Hodgepodge + Stitch Monster One of the most poisonous points of Xiao Baiwen. A hodgepodge of attributes, forget about the five elements, but still want light, darkness, wind and thunder? A hodgepodge of skills, a bunch of useless and unsystematic, not as clear as Han Li's Qing Yuan + Puppet + Spirit Insect + Tuhao style; A hodgepodge of monsters + ice soul skills that conflict with no sense of existence - if you get level 6 metallic demon blood, should you continue to waste your skills and specialize, or will you just be stuck like a fool? 3. Combat is immature in various ways There is no clear system + signature output like Han Li, they are all small skills that can't remember the names, and the fighting spirit is okay; The Ice Soul Xuan Gong has been out for so long, it is of no use in combat, except to provide formations + tell readers that there are promotion techniques. ——As a result, there are very few exciting fights, and the description of the battle scenes generally comes second. 2. Improvement Suggestions 1. New promotion system: add recycling + synthesis Junk monster blood or inner elixir can be directly decomposed into blood essence; Obtain special monster genes and perform ancestral blood synthesis. For example, five-color peacocks, true dragons, and sky phoenixes, choose an atavistic route of the true spirit system, collect raw materials and synthesize them (five elements blood ratio + dragon beast refining), improve the purity or reduction of dragon/phoenix blood; But don't sew it up, sew a hodgepodge of Ice Soul Mysterious Art + all attributes, and in the end, what is the use of ob most of the time? Multi-system true spirits wait for the twelve transformations of Jingzhe. 2. New combat system: skill tree + assistance Since we have the five elements + skills, it is better to learn Fang Han's magical power of the Five Emperors in "Eternal Life". You are garbage + small skills with no sense of existence. Why can't you become "Five Elements Attribute Power, Low, Medium and Advanced Utilization"? Just like the Golden Back Mantis Slash, your skills cannot even be upgraded, and there is no change in transformation usage, let alone "exploring the origin of metallic power". The imagination + fun + potential are not even as good as the Rasengan. 3. Specific case Ice Soul Mysterious Technique + Monster System + Puppet + Formation is a complete mishmash: a. It is better to get a true spirit Tianfeng master route: ice phoenix bloodline synthesis + ice attribute mantis golden-backed mantis slash (recycled Junk skills, upgraded powerful skills + magic modification of various golden-backed Rasengan slashes); b. Ice Soul Xuan Gong comes with magical powers, which can copy the logic of the Snow Emperor's three skills of Ultimate Ice in "Douluo II": domain (with formation) + sword + palm; c. The puppet copied the ice knight puppet of Esdeath in "Zhan Chi", and used the liquid sage's stone in "Steel" to store the liquid philosopher's stone in "Steel". With the soul of the puppet, he refined some armor + weapons, and used ice mana to combine during the war. Pile up the battle knights of Lenglie Valley; d. Learn the formation method of Qingyuan's Dageng Sword Formation, and you can also make an Ice Soul Sword Formation. Combined with the Ice Soul Magical Power's Domain + Ice Knight Puppet + Dry Blue Ice Flame at the back, the full configuration of the Nascent Soul Stage has been figured out for you. 4. Combat scene description You can learn the magical fighting method in "Eternal Life". The skill logic of your monster system is more like "Eternal Life" than "Mortal", just copy according to the magical power. I have already mentioned the problem, and I have also thought of the ideas for you. I hope that the novels that follow will be better.

Watching it in two days was not enough.

When I read what you wrote, I still think it's okay. At least it's good compared to others. I'm the kind of person who reads it without thinking.

It's too slow. The pace is really slow. It took more than 500 chapters to conceive a baby. It's almost two million words to write about the Nascent Soul. What's there to write about? I've written so much and it doesn't feel any better. The plot has no ups and downs and is very flat.

This is the most comfortable book I have ever read among mortals. I hope the author can keep writing it and not become a eunuch.

Let me go, this protagonist is too cunning, he has a master-disciple relationship, and a father-in-law relationship, and he keeps showing favors to others while they are not prosperous, and tricks Xiao Han to death. With a character like Xiao Han's, I'm afraid that if he falls into a trap and can't climb out again, will he be completely reduced to the protagonist's tool in the future? 😍

Personal opinion, don't spray if you don't like it If it is a world that is already closed in time, then you cannot change any events. Because the time of your existence is in the past, and the time after Han Li becomes Tianzun is now. It is entirely possible that your abnormality was corrected by Han Tianzun. So it's better to modify the settings and ignore the fairyland chapter, so that many things will be easier to deal with.

The early stage was good, with highlights. At present, I have subscribed to 500 chapters and I really can't stand it any longer. Maybe the author has something going on in real life, and it feels like it's too far removed from the previous writing. 1-The skill is just a decoration 2 The spirit stone has no concept. It is written that the protagonist has no shortage of spirit stones. It is difficult to have a sense of substitution. Including the protagonist treats magic weapons, magic weapons and even the ancient treasures at the back as if they are tatters. There is never a shortage (the protagonist is still in the golden elixir stage, in the original work The ancient treasures of the Nascent Soul stage are all treasures, and there are no rich and powerful Nascent Soul stage.) 3. There are hundreds of tens of thousands of elixirs in the ruins. The key is that the other three Nascent Soul stages will be divided equally with your Golden Elixir stage. You don't need the other Nascent Soul stages, as long as you auction them in their trading house. (What is the concept of a ten thousand-year elixir? There is an upper limit for elixirs. Many elixirs will not be added to the medicine age when they reach the upper limit. Either they are seeded or divided into plants, and the medicine age will not be added. In the Nascent Soul stage, they will not care about the rules and fight you for one or two ten thousand year elixirs, let alone a hundred. When has the world of immortality been so harmonious?) 4 To dissolve the blood of so many people, extend their lives and improve their physique, the humanoid Tang Monk Meat. Apart from anything else, Xiaomei is married and has a child, and she is still in love. Then she sees her husband aging and approaching the end of his lifespan. Do you think she will ask you to help her husband dissolve his blood and extend his lifespan? Then if your children don't live long enough, will they just watch and die of old age, or will they beg you to dissolve their blood and extend their lives? Not counting your mortal wives and daughters, they have lived to be almost 200 years old. Will you tolerate hemolysis in the future when your children, husbands and grandchildren get married? 5 Although it is said to be the Four Spiritual Roots to the outside world, it shows a speed even more demonic than the Heavenly Spiritual Roots, and it is still so high-profile. Do you really think that the aura of the genius of Fu Dao and the son-in-law of the Yun family is the capital of Lang? According to the temperament of the Golden Elixir and Nascent Soul in the original work, the first one to mess with you is the ancestor of the Yun family. Are you calling me a demon for nothing? Would you care about the feelings of a descendant or your son-in-law for the sake of your secret?

More than a thousand chapters are still inked in the human world!

How many tons of wives are you planning to ascend to?

Disciple Han Li slept with the alchemy monk Nangong Wan when he was practicing Qi. So you want to write a story about how Mo Juren slept with Yuan Ying? Write the protagonist like a love saint. Since he is a mortal, don't write too many emotional entanglements. Can't you just focus on the Tao? Not counting the mortal wife, after all, she was married by her predecessor. But for Chen Qiaoqian and Han Yunzhi, I can also say that the author had a hard time giving them a so-called destination. But you don't want to let go of any of the female cultivators in Chaos Xinghai who are related to Han Li? The other thing is that the author himself wrote about the relationship between Wei Yurou and other Nascent Soul female cultivators, not to mention one or two old witches. They all have problems with their practice and have emotional entanglements with others. Do you like cuckolds so much? Of course, except for the emotional line, which I want to complain about, the other plot arrangements are still okay. The author's writing style is also good, and it can be regarded as a rare mortal fanfic. Okay, that's all!

Everything else is still there, but one problem is that there are too many female supporting characters. . Looks very uncomfortable. . It's that kind of relationship that is obviously thousands of miles apart, but it has to be pulled together. Just like other women can't find a man. . . Every time I see an emotional scene, I want to abandon the book. . .

I won't be able to see the chapter on the spiritual world in my lifetime.

I think it's wrong that there is no demon blood for sale in the world of cultivation, because demon blood is needed when drawing talismans. If there is a demand, there will be a market. How could no one sell it? If no one sells it, how do you draw so many talismans?

If Chen Qiaoqian accepted it, it would be too poisonous. Her body would be taken care of by Han Li. If she becomes Han Li's mistress, would she want to be a tauren?

The content is good, but the only uncomfortable thing is that the women in it are as childish as children no matter how old they are... Not to mention those who are hundreds of years old, but the male protagonist's daughter, who is in her seventies or eighties, can she talk well. It reminds me of the dissonance of an old lady dancing innocently 😃

It takes thirty years of seclusion to break through the realm and break through the core formation. You are not a person with poor qualifications like Han Li.

Ink color ring

Why should the protagonist help Han Yunzhi if he has no interest in it? No one from the family came to the rescue, so the protagonist took on the responsibility. I am speechless and forgetful, or I still can't figure it out? I think the character of the protagonist is about to collapse.

More than 800 chapters are still in the middle stage. It seems that even a thousand chapters will not reach the stage of transformation.

The protagonist came through the soul, and his feelings for his original wife and daughter will not be too deep, or even not at all. It is unreasonable to work too hard for your wife and daughter, and even be held back. It would be better to change it directly to the protagonist being reincarnated as Mo Juren, and then Jue Suhui turns on the golden finger. This way there is no contradiction, no violation, and it is more reasonable. Here is a small suggestion for Mao, and I hope the author will adopt it.

Shennong, tell me, how is this book? ? ? ?

Do you feel like fewer people are watching it lately? Because you have forcibly separated the characters you have bonded with for more than a thousand chapters. If you don't bring back the protagonist group and interact with the original characters, your book will soon be praised. This kind of separation from the audience is a serious writing accident.

I feel like it's well written, but there's no passion.

Why did the update stop?😰

The Fifth Lady Wang

"Cultivation Sect Beating Workers", fellow Taoists are welcome to read it

The number of inheritance marks obtained in Chapter 17 should be six, because the number on your panel is six more. Change the five and five types in Chapter 17 to six.