The Entire Court Thinks I'm Gay

Su Wei had a secret: he had transmigrated into a book. He knew that Feng Yinchen, the second young master of the Imperial Preceptor's household, would one day have a son who was a Dragon-Proud Protagonist.

That was a Dragon-Proud Protagonist! He could help the emperor of Su Wei's tiny kingdom conquer the world all by himself.

Su Wei had to get in good with him from the ground up.

*

When Su Wei learned that Feng Yinchen was going to take the imperial examinations, he had the Ministry of Rites copy the exam questions overnight, then climbed over a wall to deliver them to Feng Yinchen.

Feng Yinchen, who was studying late into the night, jumped at the sight of him. "Your Majesty?"

Su Wei made a shushing gesture. "Here, take this."

Feng Yinchen was confused. "What is it?"

"The questions for the upcoming exam," Su Wei said.

Feng Yinchen's eyes widened. "Your Majesty, I... I... I can't accept this."

Su Wei patted his shoulder. "No, you have to. Without you by my side, I can't sleep at night."

Feng Yinchen's ears turned bright red beneath Su Wei's burning gaze.

After the exams, Feng Yinchen came first. When the emperor appointed officials before the throne, Su Wei gazed at him with shining eyes. "Feng, your talent is exceptional. I appoint you regent. Come work with me in the Hall of Diligent Governance."

The court was stunned. All the officials knelt as one. "Your Majesty, you absolutely cannot! Our country has never had a regent, and the top scholar is not even twenty years old. How can he possibly shoulder such a responsibility?"

Su Wei said, "We didn't have one before, but now we do. And if I say he can do it, then he can."

*

The day after Feng Yinchen became regent, bandits ran rampant in Shu. Feng Yinchen volunteered to go suppress them, and Su Wei agreed. "These bandits are exceptionally vicious. To ensure your safety, I will go with you."

The court was stunned. All the officials knelt as one. "Your Majesty, you absolutely cannot! Our emperor has never personally gone to suppress bandits."

Su Wei said, "We didn't before, but now we do."

*

Feng Yinchen caught a cold. Su Wei cared for him day and night, even skipping court. All the officials chased him to the Imperial Preceptor's residence. "Your Majesty, you absolutely cannot! Your health is paramount. What if you catch his illness?"

Su Wei declared solemnly, "Feng and I are of one heart and one body. Without Feng, I wouldn't want to live either."

Feng Yinchen quietly pulled the blanket over his head to hide his bright red face.

The officials were utterly despairing. "It's over. His Majesty has turned gay." "I knew something was off ages ago, but you refused to believe me."

The officials made an endless fuss. One threatened to hang himself today, another to remonstrate unto death tomorrow. Su Wei soothed one and then another, and in the end even swore an oath to prove his innocence.

"Although Feng has peach-blossom features, red lips and white teeth, and shines like the stars, enough to make anyone fall for him at a glance, I am not just anyone, nor am I attracted to men. I feel nothing for my beloved Feng but the bond between sovereign and subject."

The officials all breathed a huge sigh of relief.

However...

*

Su Wei stared at Feng Yinchen's unmistakably pregnant belly, completely dumbfounded. Why could men get pregnant too?

Su Wei was shocked and confused, but also overjoyed. Not only had he gained a wife, but the Dragon-Proud Protagonist was his own son.

He cupped Feng Yinchen's face and kissed him. "Wife, I love you so much."

Theme: Everything happens for the best