After My Wife and I Entered a Tragic Melodrama

Han Xu and Gu Lanzhang had just ended their ten-year relationship when they got into a car accident on the way home from registering their marriage. The two of them transmigrated.

The good news: They both got bound to Systems. As long as they follow the plots and earn points, they can come back to life in the modern world.

The bad news: They got bound to different Systems.

Han Xu got a sickly-obsessive romance and wife-chasing-to-the-crematorium script.

Gu Lanzhang got a villain and irresistible heartthrob script.

*

System: Go steal Gu Lanzhang's underwear, then carry it into the palace and ask the emperor to grant you a marriage.

Han Xu: ?? That's intense!

System: Remember, you're sickly obsessive now.

Han Xu: ...

On a dark and windy night, Han Xu climbs over the wall into the Gu residence. Following the System's directions, he reaches Gu Lanzhang's room. Just as he's about to knock, he realizes the door isn't even shut. He pushes it open and hears Gu Lanzhang complain, "What took you so long?"

Han Xu is surprised. "You knew I was coming?"

Gu Lanzhang: "The System said you'd come steal my underwear tonight, so I have to pretend to sleepwalk and beat you up."

Han Xu: "Don't hit my face."

Gu Lanzhang grabs him by the collar and pulls him onto the bed. "We've already registered our marriage."

Han Xu gives him a thumbs-up. His wife's quick thinking is something else.

Afterward, Han Xu rushes toward the palace with the still-warm underwear in his arms, while Gu Lanzhang lounges on the bed, savoring the moment. His System shrieks, "That's not how you're supposed to play it!"

Gu Lanzhang stays perfectly calm. "Just tell me, was it intense or not?"

The System falls silent. This bug has completely broken it.

*

After a chaotic stretch of days, the two finally get married.

Early the next morning, Gu Lanzhang gets up and changes into a sheer outfit, ready to go out.

Han Xu asks, "Where are you going?"

Gu Lanzhang: "My irresistible-heartthrob script is starting. I have to go charm people."

Han Xu is shocked. "We just got married yesterday."

Gu Lanzhang shrugs. "That's what the script says."

Han Xu: "Who is it? Who's got the nerve?"

Gu Lanzhang: "The heir to the Duke of Anguo's estate."

Gu Lanzhang leaves, while Han Xu frets like an ant on a hot pan and secretly follows him.

The System chimes in at the right moment. "They'll be admiring the lotus flowers on a flower boat today."

Han Xu is furious. "No way. I have to keep an eye on them."

System: "Given your special circumstances, you can spend points to replace the lead in this plot with yourself."

Han Xu is surprised. "You mean I should seduce the heir to the Duke of Anguo's estate?"

The System rolls its eyes. "Let Gu Lanzhang seduce you."

Han Xu decides immediately. "Do it."

Han Xu boards the boat as the plot dictates. When Gu Lanzhang sees him, he pauses. "What are you doing here?"

Han Xu happily explains what happened. Gu Lanzhang laughs. "Then do you know I'm supposed to beat him up today?"

Han Xu: ???

*

After some time, Han Xu realizes something is wrong. "Why are my points running out so fast?"

System: "Because you keep changing the plot. Since you need so much, I can give you other scripts."

Han Xu: "What kind of scripts?"

System: "Fake and real young masters, rekindled love, forced possession, abusing scumbags for revenge, secret crushes, adorable pets, wilderness survival, stepfather stories, palace and household intrigue, business comebacks, mountain and sea foraging, mystery and deduction..."

Han Xu is shocked. "What kind of world is this, anyway?"

System: "Just tell me whether you're taking them."

For points, for his wife, he'll do it.

Han Xu grits his teeth. "I'll take them."

*

After some more time, Han Xu starts to think Gu Lanzhang is acting strange too. Gu Lanzhang doesn't hide it from him. "We're using up our points too fast, so I took on some other scripts."

"What?"

"Running away while pregnant, a general bringing his first love home, amnesia, stand-ins, an aloof beauty bending for love, older man, younger man, a heaven's favorite falling into the mud, loving and hating each other, the seven-year itch, a scoundrel with a sincere heart, a love mired in bitterness, a beautiful illusion..."

Han Xu is shocked once again. "What the hell kind of world is this?"

P.S. This is a comedy. There may be pregnancy and childbirth later on.

Theme: Face life with a smile