Fyodor, Pay Me Back for All My Hard Work!

[First-person narration]

My name is Ivan Turgenev. I suppose you could call me a trust-fund kid. My dad died young, and my mom likes to beat me whenever she gets the chance, but all in all, life hasn't been too bad.

The one responsible for making my life miserable is my neighbor, that bastard named Fyodor.

When we first met at twelve, Fyodor dared to call me his best friend. He even wrote to his older brother, saying, “Brother, what a wonderful person he is! I have almost fallen in love with him myself.”

At eighteen, he went around singing my praises to everyone:

“Poet, genius, nobleman, handsome, rich, intelligent, well-mannered, eighteen years old. I simply can't imagine how God could have shortchanged him!”

Damn him. God didn't shortchange me. He did!

My other good friend, Tolstoy, said Fyodor was a hopeless gambler and a liar.

I didn't believe him back then, and argued my case with Tolstoy. Eventually, I believed him.

Because Fyodor conned me out of my feelings, then conned me out of my money. I just can't accept that.

Well, mostly I can't accept that he conned me out of my money.

I can have plenty of feelings in my life, but how much money will I ever have?

Since this bastard took all my savings, saying he was going to build “a world without people with special abilities” (I've always thought this was the worst thing about him. He fantasizes about having superpowers every day), and then vanished without a trace, I have good reason to suspect he plans to skip out on his debt.

So I'm leaving Russia to collect.

Fyodor, just you wait. I'll find you even if I have to search to the ends of the earth.

Pay me back! Pay me back! Fyodor, give me back my hard-earned money!!!

Tips:

1. This has little to do with the main or side plots of Bungo Stray Dogs. Just watch me make up wild stories about the Russians.

2. The praise for Fyodor in the blurb comes from “Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone: Selected Letters of Fyodor Dostoevsky.” The original says “twenty-five,” which I've changed to “eighteen.”

3. This is a short story. Once it's done, I'll write some more: “Why Is Pushkin Like That?” and “Medical Student, but My Advisor Is Chekhov.”

4. It's all made up, completely made up, but the part about him not paying his debts is true (not really).

Theme: Debts must be repaid. It's only right