The Anime World's War-Zone Clickbait Account

Because the run of Detective Conan has dragged on for so long, the main plot barely advances. The relationships between the characters are convoluted, but ultimately pointless.

Source Chuyi, a two-dimensional intelligence officer, receives an assignment from her superiors:

"The new movie is about to premiere. We need to make the most of the many iconic scenes from the past and write fresh coverage from multiple angles and perspectives, to keep longtime fans and attract new ones!"

Source Chuyi waves a hand and replies to her boss: [Got it. A battlefield gossip account for anime fans. I'm on it!]

After infiltrating the Black Organization, she digs into all the famous scenes and writes articles:

[Everyone knows Bourbon is mixed-race, but what exactly is he mixed with? Surely not Siamese cat?]

[Which brings us to Gin.]

[Who remembers that Gin used to be blond, with long, silky hair? Then he went white overnight, and nobody asked why. It's hard not to believe that Gin was warning and reminding someone through this.]

[Here's the question: Why does Bourbon keep getting right up in Gin's face without ever having his cover blown?]

[Why does Gin shoot everyone first and talk later, but never stop talking when it comes to Bourbon?]

[Four words are enough to sum up their conflict: blood is thicker than water!]

Bourbon and Gin, who've been slandered as either brothers or father and son: ?

After repeatedly visiting crime scenes, Source Chuyi painstakingly writes another article:

[As everyone knows, Beika Town is basically Japan's Gotham, with a sky-high death rate. Why doesn't the Japanese government do anything? Our reporter has uncovered a clue.]

[Don't be fooled by the Death Elementary Schoolboy! The key figures are often the seemingly ordinary ones: Professor Agasa!]

[Think about it: why has nobody ever investigated or suspected a professor who can whip out mysterious weapons capable of blowing up the Pentagon at any time?!]

[Why does the FBI insist on anonymously moving into Conan's house? To keep Professor Agasa under surveillance!]

[Consider the relationship between Japan and the United States. We've cracked the case, folks! The more you think about it, the more terrifying it gets!]

A certain vicious FBI, accused of treating Japan like a testing ground: ?

Thanks to her meticulous logic, extraordinary rhetoric, and captivating bits of secret gossip, her battlefield gossip account's followers skyrocket.

Putting together the information she has on hand, Source Chuyi hunches over her desk and writes:

[Everyone! Everyone! There's a first-grade elementary school kid packed with high-tech gadgets who casually flies using cables and speeds around on a skateboard, who's brilliant at academics and martial arts, and has ruined the Black Organization's plans time and again. So why is he still alive?]

[Does it matter who he is? Even if he were Tru-mp, Gin would find a chance to shoot him and give him an opportunity to trade his ear for a new face. But he hasn't! The Black Organization hasn't!]

[What you don't know is that...]

Just as she is about to keep writing, her boss sends an urgent message: It's over, Xiao Yuan. Since the official story ran out of material, you've been drawn into the Detective Conan serial, and your gossip account has been brought along too. Pack your things and run!

Source Chuyi: ?

Source Chuyi: !!!

*

A brainless work of slander, written by someone driven to madness by the main plot and the spy drama. It's a short story, so just have fun with it.

Poor Xiao Yuan will be mercilessly beaten for spreading rumors. Unless something unexpected happens, the pairing is Akai-sensei. We have to catch that shameless gossip-monger and do all sorts of things to him to vent our anger.

Theme: Reporters must be persistent and brave enough to reveal the truth