Wish Fulfillment, but the Author Is Stream-of-Consciousness

Bad news: I've transmigrated into the Western fantasy ensemble novel I wrote. The plot is full of tragedies born from my twisted sense of humor, and the male and female leads, whom I put through the wringer, have awakened to their memories of the story ahead of schedule and already come looking for me.

Good news: I've gained a special ability to change the plot. As long as I imagine something related to the novel, parts of it become reality.

Bad news: I'm a stream-of-consciousness writer, and I can't stop my mind from wandering.

For example:

"My head feels all fuzzy, and my mouth's so bland I could eat a bird. I really want canned yellow peaches... A can? I like heavily armored tank characters... Phoenix! If we don't go save him, the orcs will crack him open and eat him alive. I need to find someone to talk to... Everyone's asleep, so I shouldn't bother them. Not everyone is Zhang Huaimin, after all... 'A Night Tour of Chengtian Temple': the courtyard was as clear as standing water... The moonlight really is like water. Bathing in moonlight feels as cool as being in water... glug glug glug glug glug, "

Half a minute later, the male and female leads from my novel dragged me out of the inn, which had somehow turned into a swimming pool, one on either side.

The "upright, selfless, refined blond knight" and the "brilliant, gentle, and serene grand mage" from the original character descriptions were dripping wet, gripping me by the collar and looking utterly exasperated.

It was clear they wanted to slap me, but were afraid this fragile little weakling might actually die from it.

I'd wrecked three inns in one day, and they were constantly cleaning up after me. They were so exhausted they could barely speak, but at least they still had great teamwork.

"Please, we're begging you, Mother."

"Stop thinking up nonsense."

This isn't strictly stream of consciousness. More accurately, the heroine has an especially active, tangential mind.

Why have I started a new story again? Is this a good idea? No, it isn't, but it's really fun.

Theme: Love and peace