Snake, You Can Make People Lay Eggs

Shi Wu is a harmless little snake, half a meter wide and weighing a ton.

Every spirit's greatest wish is to become human, and Shi Wu is no exception. But after cultivating deep in the mountains for years, all he's done is grow bigger. He still can't become human, and it's driving him crazy.

And for some reason, the villagers down the mountain keep bringing him people, claiming they're sacrifices and disturbing his peace.

Shi Wu doesn't like people. He likes eating rabbits, so every time he can only coil around the people and carry them back to the main road.

All that hard work earns him a blow to his weak spot, and sometimes even a cut from a little knife.

People are awful.

Until one day, the villagers bring him another person.

Tall, handsome, and especially good-looking, the man makes Shi Wu want to take a second look.

He prepares to carry the man to the road as usual. He's coiled around him and on his way when suddenly his body feels light.

...Huh?

Shi Wu looks down. First he sees a head of long black hair, then a pair of human hands wrapped tightly around the slim waist of the sacrifice.

He's suddenly become human.

.

He Ye is the son of the richest man in the country and the head of N University's mountaineering club.

He's climbed snow-covered mountains, explored the deep sea, and even gone skydiving. He's bold and carefree, and will set off at the drop of a hat for all sorts of remote destinations. He has countless followers on social media.

His luck turns without warning.

He only came to the mountains to experience local life, but after waking from a nap, he finds himself bound hand and foot by the locals and carried before a giant python as thick as his waist. They say he's to be offered as a sacrifice.

To avoid ending up in the snake's belly, He Ye grips his dagger and calmly searches for the snake's weak spot.

The next moment, the cold sensation vanishes, replaced by a warm embrace.

He Ye raises an eyebrow and looks over the beautiful young man who has taken the snake's place, then at the two things pressed against him...

Snakes are lustful by nature.

He Ye thinks he understands what kind of sacrifice this is.

Tsk. If you want to have sex, why make it so complicated?

He shoves the still-dazed Shi Wu to the ground and says impatiently, "Hurry up. Once we're done, let me go."

Shi Wu: "...Huh?"

He Ye is already taking off his clothes. He sneers, "What else? I'm a man. You don't expect me to stay and lay little snakes for you, do you?"

Shi Wu: Huh???

.

Shi Wu does something bad.

The next morning, he looks at the man in a sorry state and feels incredibly guilty.

To take care of him, Shi Wu brings him to his beautiful home, built from bones, and teaches him how to hunt and how to borrow rabbits from the village. With He Ye's help, Shi Wu gets clothes for the first time and finally eats the spicy rabbit heads he's been dreaming of. The spice makes tears stream down his face.

At the same time, he discovers why he became human. As long as he's near He Ye, his cultivation progress shoots forward, and after intimate contact, it leaps even further.

Shi Wu secretly resolves to hunt well and look after He Ye, so He Ye will cook for him for the rest of his life.

But as He Ye gradually learns about the village, his expression grows more and more serious. He plans to report the villagers to the police as soon as he's recovered.

Just then, Shi Wu is stunned to discover that He Ye's belly is getting bigger...

.

He Ye still leaves. After leaving behind two snake eggs, he carefully tells Shi Wu to wait for him to come back and get him.

The day after He Ye leaves, police cars surround the entire village. They unearth countless bones in the hills behind the village, tear down Shi Wu's bone hut, and search everywhere with guns for a giant python.

Shi Wu is terrified. With what little magic power he has left, he transforms into a human, grabs the two eggs, and runs away.

He has no idea where to go. Carrying the eggs, he asks everyone he meets where "He Ye" is and makes his way to the capital.

The capital is bustling. Shi Wu wanders alone through its busy streets and, after finally sneaking into an upper-class banquet with the little snakes, finds his mama.

The man who had cruelly pinched his cheek in the village, then kissed him tenderly and patiently taught him how to live, is now dressed in a formal suit, radiating an imposing aura as he threatens them with a cold smile.

"If you can't find out who was poaching, then none of you will keep your jobs."

Shi Wu: 0.0

Clutching the eggs, Shi Wu stammers, "Wife...?"

#My wife never said he was a big shot back in the mountains, QAQ#

[Shi Wu x He Ye]

A beautiful snake top who looks fierce but is actually a bit of an idiot

x

A handsome bottom who's incredibly brave

1. Yes, the snake has two.

2. The first part takes place in the mountains, and the second in the city. The bad guys will be punished.

3. There will be egg-bearing and raising little snakes (they don't take human form).

4. Proceed at your own risk if these are your squicks or kinks. I'll delete ship-bashing, reverse-pairing, dream-crushing, and inflammatory comments. Thanks for understanding.

Theme: There's a silly snake.