The Straight Guy Sells Bromance Every Day

*An exceptionally oblivious, dedicated, straight-laced bottom vs. a cool top who overthinks everything and loves putting on a show

1

Zhou Xianyang and Li Chiwan are both obscure, twenty-eighth-tier celebrities.

Li Chiwan is drop-dead gorgeous, but he offended his stylist, so he looks scruffy every time he appears on a show. You'd think he was just some random person off the street.

Zhou Xianyang has a terrible temper, but his company forced him to keep quiet and turned him into the most boring, sweet-boy-next-door type imaginable.

They're both obscure, and perfectly content with it.

Until they appeared on a variety show with a rivals-competing-for-love script, and their CP fans made a huge sensation out of them.

The Zhou-Li ship took off.

The most popular edit was titled “That Earth-Shattering Second.”

Zhou Xianyang clicked on it. The comments read:

[Zhou Xianyang, you smug little dog. The goddess crooks her finger, and you come crawling over.]

[Such an easy guy to coax. The goddess gives him a little sweetness, and the puppy's happily wagging his tail.]

[They did it eight times last night. The puppy's out early this morning to work and earn baby formula money, while the goddess is still unconscious after getting railed senseless (it's a rumor, but don't let the truth go to waste).]

Zhou Xianyang fumed. “What the hell is wrong with these people? They're calling me a dog?”

Assistant: “But they ship you as the top.”

Zhou Xianyang: “...Fine, let's keep looking.”

He clicked on “That Earth-Shattering Second.” At the show's finale, after he finished his speech, the camera cut to a close-up of Li Chiwan.

Li Chiwan's eyes were red-rimmed, sadness on his cool, beautiful face, and he let out a faint sob. A heavenly beauty in tears, so pitiful and lovable.

Zhou Xianyang's heart was in turmoil.

Could he really have a secret crush on me?

That can't be right. He usually acts like I don't exist.

He does seem to like staring at me, and then there was that birthday message timed to the exact minute...

The more I think about it, the more terrifying it gets. Even a cursory thought is terrifying.

He looks so pitiful when he cries. So beautiful.

I really am awful.

If he confesses, how can I turn him down without making it awkward?

2

Li Chiwan has a quota for acting gay. If he doesn't sell the ship, he can go home and grow sweet potatoes.

The script says:

1. Stare at Zhou Xianyang ten times during the show; 2. Casually show off matching outfits; 3. Wish him a happy birthday at exactly 5:20 on May 20; 4. Sob and sniffle for the camera, selling the ship from every angle in 360 degrees; 5. Whatever you do, don't fall in love with him...

He diligently keeps notes on his ship-selling efforts:

I gave him water today. It didn't go well. I spilled it on his pants.

I went a thousand miles to deliver a cake today. Sold it big time. I'm amazing.

His phone buzzed. He got a message from Zhou Xianyang.

[Let's meet. I don't like confessing over WeChat.]

Li Chiwan: He's finally willing to sell the ship with me :D

So he replied: [Can you confess to me by tagging me on Weibo?]

[Zhou Xianyang: ?]

3

After reaching an agreement with the other company's management, Li Chiwan became even more dedicated.

On their date, he spotted a camera and leaned close to Zhou Xianyang to talk.

Their breath mingled. Zhou Xianyang was seduced, and as he turned his head, his lips brushed Li Chiwan's cheek. His heart stopped instantly.

Li Chiwan chided him softly: “You're so unprofessional.”

He couldn't even fake a kiss properly.

He turned Zhou Xianyang's face toward the camera. “This angle. Kiss me again.”

Zhou Xianyang: He thinks I'm unprofessional.

He turned the tables, cupped Li Chiwan's face, and kissed him.

Li Chiwan: ...

He's lost his mind! Who actually kisses for real when they're just selling a ship?!

(A lot of wild, unfiltered nonsense. Obscure stars can do whatever they want. The setting is fictional, and the title and blurb may be adjusted.)

Top's perspective: He's secretly in love with me, but he thinks I'm bad at this (sets out to prove it)

Bottom's perspective: My ship-selling partner doesn't know his own strength. Terrifying...

Theme: Trust your feelings, and don't miss the right person