Professional Charlatan, Part-Time Celestial Master

Lu Congzhi is a charlatan, and all his clients know it.

“Master, my child finally found a steady job, but now they cry every day about wanting to quit. Please tell their fortune for us.”

Lu Congzhi frowned. “This job is no good. The future looks rough, and they’re likely to run into petty troublemakers. Forget getting promoted, they might even end up behind bars.”

“Oh! Then, then, they have to quit!”

Client: Five-star review! Mom finally stopped objecting to me quitting!

Lu Congzhi’s business motto: Be an honest charlatan, make clear-cut deals, and earn big money with a smile! Happy days~

But one day, someone came to his stall.

“I hear you can read fortunes and answer people’s questions?”

Lu Congzhi looked up. A man in a suit and overcoat stood before him, wearing gold-rimmed glasses.

He narrowed his eyes. This guy was just his type!

He immediately flashed his brightest smile. “Since you’ve come, we must be fated to meet. What would you like to ask?”

*

Lu Congzhi regretted it. He regretted it terribly. He regretted it more than anything.

Ever since he met Shen Yu, his life had never been peaceful again.

Ghost-bewitching incense, the Three Corpses God, earthbound spirits, wronged infant ghosts, and now this vengeful female ghost radiating resentment…

Lu Congzhi’s smile gradually faded. Finally, he gritted his teeth. “Shen Yu, your birth chart must be overflowing with yin energy! I haven’t seen a ghost in eight hundred years, and I’ve met the whole lot of them through you!”

Shen Yu stared at the red-clad demon with fangs before them. “You work in this business, don’t you? Even if you’re a charlatan, you should have some way to protect yourself, right?”

“Protect myself? Ha!” Lu Congzhi chuckled. “Your standards are way too low! President Shen, anything beyond the scope of service costs extra!”

“Fine! Name your price!”

“Deal! Today, I’ll show you how money can make even ghosts call you ‘sir’!”

As he spoke, he pulled a soft whip from who-knows-where and flicked it lightly. Golden light shimmered across it…

Five minutes later, Lu Congzhi stood with one foot on the evil spirit, the whip wound tightly around its neck. “Hey! Call me Grandpa.”

Shen Yu: “…”

He looked at the ghost, too afraid to struggle, and raised an eyebrow. “A charlatan?”

Lu Congzhi grinned. “Professional charlatan, part-time Celestial Master.”

He took out his phone and held it out to Shen Yu. “You promised to pay extra. But…” He looked Shen Yu up and down. “Since you’re so handsome, call me ‘big brother’ and I’ll give you twelve percent off~”

*

A Celestial Master suddenly appeared in Haishi. He took on all kinds of cases, charged whatever he felt like, and had an absurdly vast network of connections. From the people on the street to the most powerful families, he knew someone everywhere.

Even Shen Yu, CEO of Tianshu, was practically inseparable from him.

And yet, despite having no shortage of connections or resources, he loved snatching cases from the Special Affairs Bureau.

He had one rule:

If the Special Affairs Bureau wouldn’t take a case, he would. If they did take it, he’d snatch it from them anyway, appearing and disappearing like a ghost as he did it with effortless skill.

Special Affairs Bureau: “Lu Congzhi, don’t push it!”

Lu Congzhi dug at his ear, looking confused. “What did you call me?”

As he spoke, he patted the insignia at his waist.

“…Sect Leader Lu!”

Lu Congzhi had never wanted to take the position of sect leader of a sect whose only member was himself. But now he thought it might not be so bad after all.

He narrowed his eyes and smiled. “That’s right. Good boy!”

Reader’s Guide:

2. This story is entirely fictional. Believe in science!

A preview of my upcoming novel: The Whole Team Cultivates, but I’ve Got a Cheat

When Mu Yiqing offered himself to the formation, he thought he was sure to die for good this time. But he opened his eyes once more.

The first time he died, his younger brother pushed him into a river.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself transmigrated to the cultivation world. Immortal Venerable Suyi took him in, and he became the beloved junior apprentice of the whole Yundu Immortal Manor.

The second time he died, he willingly sacrificed himself to the formation, thwarting the demons’ conspiracy and giving his life for the greater good.

When he opened his eyes, he was lying on the grass by a riverbank. Before him was a pitch-black camera lens, and his younger brother’s face was deathly pale.

Damn it! He’d transmigrated back!

And he’d landed right in the middle of his younger brother Mu Wenguang’s livestreaming variety show.

Looking at Mu Wenguang’s horrified expression, Mu Yiqing gave him a malicious smile.

*

Mu Yiqing had been a rising young actor in the entertainment industry. After his younger brother’s attempt to kill him sent him to the cultivation world, he came back to find that his shameless brother had used their somewhat similar faces to enter show business, take over his “legacy,” and bask in his fame.

He was going to have his hands full.

Reclaim his assets, expose the snake in the grass, and send him to prison.

Mu Yiqing was busy as could be, but what gave him an even bigger headache was figuring out how to return to the cultivation world.

Yes, he had decided to go back.

Back to the place that truly felt like home.

But before he could find a way back, this world started having problems of its own.

All kinds of fantastical natural phenomena appeared in droves: once-in-a-thousand-years meteor showers, gorgeous clouds of sunset glow that swirled through the night, scenes like something out of a dream.

New species of plants and animals appeared one after another: seven-colored glass flowers, butterflies bigger than people, and all manner of other wonders.

More and more people online began displaying extraordinary abilities: bending steel bars with their bare hands, seeing through walls, and other feats that left people speechless.

Just as everyone was wondering if the world had finally gone mad, the Special Administration Bureau appeared out of nowhere and announced:

Spiritual qi revival. The age of cultivation has officially arrived!

The world quickly underwent a transformation, and a new order was established. At the same time, other planes took notice of this newborn power.

The struggle to plunder spiritual qi had always been the main cause of wars between planes.

And when it came to a plane where spiritual qi had only just revived, once its defensive barrier was breached, it would be left at the mercy of others.

Just as everyone was consumed by despair at the thought of the apocalypse, a slender figure stepped forward.

Looking at the familiar Three Venerables, Mu Yiqing gave a cold laugh. “Back for another beating?”

The Three Venerables: “A ghost! Run!!!”

*

Ever since Mu Yiqing scared off the Three Venerables with a single sentence, he’d been forced to become the world’s savior.

To get this burden off his shoulders as quickly as possible, he started working nonstop: organizing the cultivation system, putting together a team to defend their plane… He was so busy that his return was delayed.

And so, without him noticing, a crack slowly opened in the sky above the Kunlun summit…

Lu Ye: If the mountain won’t come to me, I’ll go to the mountain.

Theme: Chinese culture is profound and rich