It's No Way to Live, Always Falling for Other People

[Written at 3:38 a.m. on June 12, 2026. Screen-recorded and archived]

Blurb:

After being sent flying twenty li by a car, Ning Fenghe opened his eyes to find he had become the Third Prince's personal guard, and had been reborn halfway through a mission to assassinate the Crown Prince, Xiao Yinghan.

To make matters worse, he ran into another group of death warriors who had also come to kill Xiao Yinghan. Freshly reborn, Ning Fenghe was mistaken for one of Xiao Yinghan's men. To save his own skin during the ensuing attack, he fell off a cliff alongside his intended target.

Just as he landed at the bottom with the Crown Prince breaking his fall and was about to pass out, Ning Fenghe curled his fingers and thought, The Crown Prince has pretty impressive pecs.

A major incident recently shook the capital. The Crown Prince survived an assassination attempt, and not long after his return, a vivid portrait of a pair of eyes and brows surfaced from his residence. They seemed to belong to the long-deceased beloved the Crown Prince had admired for years.

As every household in the capital searched for someone with eyes and brows resembling the portrait to offer to the Crown Prince, Ning Fenghe, who had narrowly escaped with his life, was summoned by the Third Prince.

The Third Prince looked at the portrait, then at Ning Fenghe.

As Ning Fenghe waited in trepidation, the Third Prince gave him his first order since he had arrived in this world.

"I'll help you get into the Crown Prince's residence and become one of Xiao Yinghan's personal guards."

Ning Fenghe: "Get into the Crown Prince's residence, and then what?"

The Third Prince stared at the portrait, enunciating each word.

"Then. Seduce. Him."

Ning Fenghe: ?

Ning Fenghe: ? Seduce the Crown Prince? Me?

-

Ning Fenghe successfully made it into the Eastern Palace and became part of Xiao Yinghan's personal guard team.

Ning Fenghe didn't know how to be a personal guard or a spy, and he was even worse at seducing people. But he was good at slacking off.

While Xiao Yinghan met with court officials in his study, Ning Fenghe dozed on the rafters. When Xiao Yinghan was attacked late at night, Ning Fenghe emerged to protect him with pastry crumbs at the corner of his mouth. When Xiao Yinghan left the capital to investigate a case, Ning Fenghe got carsick and used his master's legs as a pillow.

At the end of the month, he put brush to paper and wrote his secret report: Seduction is ongoing.

When the sixth secret report landed on Xiao Yinghan's desk, he decided to offer himself to Ning Fenghe and give his work a little push.

The day after the report was sent, Ning Fenghe was slacking off as usual when he accidentally took an aphrodisiac meant for the Crown Prince. In a daze of desire, he was dragged into a side residence by a large hand that had been plotting this for a long time.

After one night of passion, Ning Fenghe stood there in a daze, covered in kiss marks.

The good news: His seduction worked.

The bad news: He seemed to have gone from personal guard to bedmate.

-

In Ning Fenghe's ninth month as a spy, the Emperor fell gravely ill and the Crown Prince entered the palace to attend to him. The Third Prince received a secret report and launched a rebellion, only to be captured outside the Qianqing Palace by the Imperial Guards led by the Crown Prince.

Only as he was being taken away did the Third Prince realize Ning Fenghe had betrayed him. Eyes bloodshot with fury, he stared at the man standing beside Xiao Yinghan and shouted, exposing his identity as a spy.

But the new Emperor took the spy's hand in front of everyone.

"There are no spies here."

"Only the future Empress of Great Liang."

-

After he was rescued, Xiao Yinghan kept thinking about the person who had chattered in his ear at the bottom of the cliff.

He had clearly been sent by Third Brother to assassinate him, yet his heart softened, and he had cared for Xiao Yinghan day and night for two days straight.

How could Third Brother have such a foolish personal guard?

Someone that foolish wouldn't last long under Third Brother.

So Xiao Yinghan painted a portrait.

There was no point letting his personal guard keep liking someone else. He could only trick him into coming back and make him his wife.

Reader's Guide:

* A softhearted, slack-off guard who may be a bit of an idiot, paired with a scheming Crown Prince whose possessiveness is off the charts

* Romance with some plot, but not much; kindergarten-level political machinations

* 1v1, faithful in body and heart

* Readers with extreme character preferences, please avoid

Theme: Haven't thought of one yet