Dinner with My Ex

After a grueling year working at the Adventurers' Guild, mage Hua Ming decides to retire and open a little monster restaurant at the entrance to a dungeon.

"Boss, why do you wear a 'Sacred Mask'?" asked her newly hired assistant.

Hua Ming, her face and voice concealed by the Sacred Mask, looked at the four adventurers eating and chatting together in her restaurant:

Ex Number 1: A cold-blooded dragonkin warrior who kills monsters without blinking and ranks near the top of the leaderboard.

Ex Number 2: The youngest and most powerful chief archmage in the Royal Academy's history.

Ex Number 3: A mysterious long-lived elf, an aloof and imposing holy paladin.

Ex Number 4: A legendary bard who has recorded over a thousand battles and knows the secrets of the dungeon.

Ex Number 1: "This dish tastes a lot like something my former lover used to make."

Ex Number 2: "Mine does too."

Ex Number 3: "Mine does too."

Ex Number 4: "Mine does too."

Ex Number 1: "...If I ever see her again, I'll keep her locked by my side."

Ex Number 2: "I'll make sure she never dares leave me again."

Ex Number 3: "I'm going to kill her."

Ex Number 4: "I just want to ■."

Hua Ming: .

If she takes off this mask, she might die.

-

A few days later, a dungeon uprising forces Hua Ming to team up with several of her exes for an expedition.

Her teammates are so powerful that they take down bosses as easily as ordinary monsters. The only thing Hua Ming has to do is cook them meals that "taste like their exes."

But seeing the way they look as they reminisce over their food, some gritting their teeth, others dark and terrifying,

Hua Ming vows to protect her secret identity to the death.

One would be trouble enough. With all four of them here, she might actually break.

*Content warning: A tumultuous romance full of hate and heartbreak. The male leads are unhinged.

24.12.19

[Harem Favorite Ongoing Series]

Please Don't Try to Romance the Guide

"Sis, why are all these weirdly dressed people always coming to our house to bring you gifts, ask you questions, and make you do quests... and muttering that strange word 'affinity' all the time?"

In response to the question from NPC [Village Chief's Daughter - Xie Li], NPC [Guide - Mi En] replied:

"...Because they're too lazy to look it up online."

The guide: the game's encyclopedia, the first NPC players meet, and their first victim.

Need an answer? Ask the guide. Have a "kill an NPC" quest? Go find the guide.

Zhou Mi'en was once a player in the full-dive game Crimson Old Land. After clearing the game with the help of a bug, she transmigrated into it and became a guide in charge of every item recipe.

Then players tormented her nine times in a row.

Once your affinity reaches 50, you can kill the guide by giving her poison. The guide has no right to refuse.

...Yeah, the game's mechanics are really that absurd.

After dying ten times, a guide is replaced by another guide.

Mi'en doesn't want to die. She still wants to find a way back to reality.

So, absolutely, absolutely no one's affinity can reach 50!

...Who knew that the players would all act so friendly to her face, while secretly plotting all sorts of mischief?

-

A rumor has recently been circulating in the top guild:

No matter what gifts you give this guide or what quests you do, her affinity won't increase.

And if you keep bothering her, there's even a chance she'll trigger a dialogue option where she tells you off!

The strongest mercenary, who moves between countless guilds: "What's the point of raising the guide's affinity?"

The veteran swordsman who pioneered a whole playstyle and founded the top guild: "...I'm not interested in NPCs."

The only necromancer on the server, who unlocked a hidden dungeon: "Sounds pretty fun, like fighting a boss. But I've got a quest to do, so I don't have time for that..."

A few evenings later, the three of them ran into one another outside the guide Mi'en's home

The only thing in the air was awkwardness.

The mage gave an uneasy laugh. "What a coincidence. You guys here to raise her affinity too?"

The mercenary: "I just need a relic recipe."

The swordsman: "...I was passing by on my way to fight a boss."

Mi'en pushed open the window and tossed out the gifts the other two had secretly slipped inside. "Thanks, but I don't accept gifts. Send me anything else and I'll tell you to get lost!"

No one's raising her affinity!

-

* Full-dive game. Most of the story takes place in the game.

* No picking favorites. All in.

* A short-tempered guide who has to act like a friendly ray of sunshine because she's an NPC, but is actually on the path of ruthless detachment and loves no one x male players of all kinds.

* The tormentors get their comeuppance and chase after her; the affinity grinders turn into simps; duels and daily love-rivalry chaos.

* But Mi'en doesn't care. The harder the players fight, the louder she laughs.

Theme: Eat well and have fun.