An Old-School Angsty Romance, But Tianjin Ren Takes on Dongbai Yin

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Li Xize never imagined that all it would take was saving a child from drowning for him to close his eyes, open them again, and find himself transmigrated as the delicate, white-lotus protagonist receiving in an old-school danmei angst novel.

Oh, heavens.

Old-school. Danmei. Angst. White lotus. Protagonist receiving.

Li Xize.

Pure Northeastern man Li Xize shakily lit himself a Pocky.

**

Winter Everlasting is an old-school angst novel that became famous for piling on the misery just for misery’s sake. Its logic is a mess and its writing is a disaster, but somehow it has remained popular through sheer angst. The two protagonists follow two principles from beginning to end: never talk things out, and always strike first. Hand in hand, they march through the vicious cycle of “misunderstanding → physical torment → emotional torment → even more misunderstandings.”

Of course, now it was Li Xize’s turn to go around that vicious cycle.

“…So you’re saying my mission is to follow the plot and obediently suffer?”

After reading the first part of the script, Li Xize opened two more bags of Pocky. Deep sorrow showed in his eyes.

“Can’t I choose to refuse?”

[No, dear.]

The rainbow-colored black System flickered.

[Your only mission is to follow the plot... But don’t worry, dear, our mission is really simple! The plot is easy to follow, and you don’t need any acting skills!!!]

“Is acting really the problem here??!”

Li Xize looked at the words “pregnancy,” “miscarriage,” and “car accident” further along in the plot, and closed his eyes in anguish.

Mom, he suspected he might not be able to come back to life after all.

*

...Of course, “not wanting to come back to life” was just something he said.

Li Xize wasn’t quite ready to die yet. He polished off three boxes of Pocky overnight, then finally, the next morning, stared at the script with bloodshot eyes and wore a faint, unsettling smile.

It’s just following the plot! It’s just acting!

A Northeastern drama queen has nothing to fear!!! Bring it on! Let’s do this!!!

*

The Gu Group, number one on the global wealth rankings.

The protagonist gong, Gu Mingchuan, was working in his bright, spacious office. In fifteen minutes, he would head downstairs to fulfill his duty as the protagonist gong: viciously slap the protagonist shou’s resume in his face and deliver the classic line in an icy voice:

“Who gave you the nerve to apply for a job here?”

But fifteen minutes later...

Gu Mingchuan stared at the ancient-style pretty boy holding a long roll and, for once, fell silent.

On closer inspection, the roll even had a label saying it was 100% pure cotton.

Gu Mingchuan laughed in exasperation.

*

At the time, Gu Mingchuan had no idea this was only the beginning.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yep.”

“...What are you pregnant with, a pillow?”

“Never mind that. Just tell me if my belly’s gotten bigger.”

“Where are you?”

“Didn’t I disobey you and go get an abortion?”

“Who gets an abortion and checks in at Hua-something-what’s-it?! I can hear your order number being called!!”

“Hey~ You don’t get it, do you?”

“...What don’t I get (¬_¬)ﾉ?”

“An abortion! Go look online. This is how everyone does it ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐”

“Oh, so you do know what kind of place this is?”

“I do.”

“You do? Then tell me what kind of place it is.”

“A black room.”

“Oh, a black room. Then why are you opening the OA system?”

“Hey, you don’t know?”

“I don’t. Why don’t you teach me?”

“Hey! To request time off!”

“Is this right?!”

*

It was right. Absolutely right.

But... which one of them is the Tianjin comedian!!!

No one can break the vicious cycle of an old-school angst novel.

Unless the couple consists of a Northeastern man and a Tianjin man.

**

Things did start getting strange.

Li Xize happily tore off the calendar pages one by one and finally completed most of his plot points.

But one day, just before the story was about to end...

At the time, Li Xize was sitting cross-legged on the bed, figuring out how many plot points he still had left when he suddenly made an extremely exaggerated retching sound.

Li Xize: ?

Wait, is something making me feel sick?

Before he could think it through, a warm body pressed against him from behind. A fluffy head nestled into the crook of his neck, and the CEO who could cause a financial crisis just by stomping his foot drew out his words.

“Baby, ”

“I think we really do have a baby, ”

Couple: A straight-as-an-arrow Northeastern man (silent Lin Daiyu, but the moment he opens his mouth, he’s a reckless Zhang Fei) shou × a Tianjin-style domineering CEO (silent and aloof, but the moment he opens his mouth, he’s a heckler) gong

Theme: Don’t fret about the miles ahead. The way will bring its own wind.