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I'm slowly correcting typos now. If you spot any, please check out Tianjin Man Meets Northeastern Man and my other advance notices! Please, please! The blurb for Northeastern Man Tells Jokes is below.
--- Blurb for this story ---
Wen Qingyu served as a Grand Tutor all his life. After finally raising a brat into a wise emperor, he worked himself to death on the night before he was to be named Grand Preceptor.
He never imagined that after closing and reopening his eyes, the good Grand Tutor would find himself a thousand years in the future, inside a book, as a wicked villain.
The villain was good for nothing and had climbed into the bed of a wealthy tycoon to cling to him. Their marriage was clearly a sham arrangement, but he pretended they were a loving couple and took the tycoon's child onto a parenting reality show. In the end, he was hounded out of the entertainment industry and met a miserable end.
When Grand Tutor Wen opened his eyes, he had just signed the final line of the contract for the parenting show.
Grand Tutor Wen: A gentleman values righteousness. In any case, I'm not going.
Grand Tutor Wen, looking at his remaining three-digit bank balance and the eight-digit penalty fee: ...A wise man adapts to circumstances.
**
Wen Qingyu went on the parenting show, intending to make a good impression. But when he saw the four little brats, his vision went black.
Grand Tutor Wen: Pinches his philtrum hard.
Grand Tutor Wen: PTSD. Can't be helped. I might as well give up.
Refusing to get out of bed? No problem, I won't get up either.
Picky eater? No big deal. I'm even pickier.
Playing around instead of studying? I'll lead the way!
The viewers looked at that pretty face, so unapologetically self-assured, and couldn't bring themselves to criticize him.
"A handsome big brother who'll stay in bed and eat snacks with me! I want one too!"
"I'm dying. How can someone carve walnuts but not chop vegetables?"
"He fought a goose and then tripped on flat ground. I hereby declare him my silly, beautiful wife!"
The movie star's son, who loved high-calorie food, offered up his snacks just to play video games with Little Wen.
The little princess, who hated reading, memorized the Three Character Classic just to hear Little Wen tell stories.
The spoiled little devil moved faster than anyone else just to beat his 'little brother' Wen.
And the tycoon's child clung to him like a little backpack, his face perfectly serious, wanting nothing more than for Big Brother Wen to be his dad.
**
Everyone thought President Qi had a marriage partner he looked down on and hated to the core.
Even though they were married and had a child, surely their affection was only for show.
But then, in the livestream that Qi An'an accidentally opened, viewers watched the aloof, untouchable man seriously compete with the child for attention.
"You've already spent two hours with Daddy. The other twenty-two hours are mine."
The livestream chat instantly erupted.
Later, the whole internet learned that the master of the business empire was Qi Guo, and that the moon above Qi Guo's head was someone he'd lifted high himself.
The male lead's child is adopted.
Couple: A learned, cultured, elegant, yet childish bottom x a cold, clingy, drama-loving brat of a top
Other advance notices:
An old-school angsty romance, but with a Tianjin man paired with a Northeastern man (our goal: ridiculousness! Ridiculousness!)
Li Xize never imagined that after merely saving a child from drowning, he would close and reopen his eyes and become the delicate, frail protagonist bottom of an old-school danmei angst novel.
Good heavens.
Old-school. Danmei. Angsty romance. Delicate beauty. Protagonist bottom.
Li Xize.
Li Xize, a pure Northeastern guy through and through, tremblingly opened a stick of Pepero for himself.
**
Eternal Winter was an old-school angst novel famous for being angsty just for the sake of angst. Its logic was a mess and its writing was a disaster, but the endless angst had kept it popular for ages. Its two protagonists followed two principles from beginning to end: never talk things out, and always strike first. Hand in hand, they kept circling the same bizarre pattern: misunderstanding, physical torment, emotional torment, then an even bigger misunderstanding.
And now it was Li Xize's turn to go through that bizarre cycle.
"...So you're saying my job is to follow the plot and obediently suffer?"
After reading the first part of the script, Li Xize opened two more bags of Pocky. Deep melancholy shone in his eyes.
"Is refusing really not an option?"
[No, dear.]
The brightly colored black System flickered.
[Your only task is to follow the plot... But don't worry, dear, our task is easy! The plot is simple to follow. You don't need acting skills!!!]
"Is acting really the problem here?!"
Li Xize looked at the words "pregnancy," "miscarriage," and "car accident" further along in the plot and shut his eyes in pain.
Mom, I think I might not be able to come back to life after all.
*
...Of course, saying he didn't want to come back to life was just talk.
Li Xize wasn't quite ready to die. He stayed up all night eating three boxes of Pocky. Finally, the next morning, eyes bloodshot, he gave the script a strange smile.
So what if I have to follow the plot? So what if I have to act?
A Northeastern drama king has nothing to fear!!! Bring it on! Give it your best shot!
*
The Gu Group, ranked number one on the global wealth list.
The male lead, Gu Mingchuan, was working in his bright, spacious office. Fifteen minutes later, he would head downstairs to fulfill his duty as the male lead: slam the protagonist's resume in his face and coldly deliver the classic line:
"Who gave you the nerve to apply for a job here?"
But fifteen minutes later...
Gu Mingchuan stared at the quaint young scholar holding a long scroll and fell silent, an unusual occurrence.
Looking closer, he saw that the scroll was even labeled 100% pure cotton.
Gu Mingchuan laughed in disbelief.
*
At the time, Gu Mingchuan didn't know this was only the beginning.
- You're pregnant?
- That's right.
- ...Are you pregnant with a pillow or something?
- Never mind that. Just tell me, is my belly bigger or not?
- Where are you?
- I didn't listen to you, so I went to have a miscarriage.
- Who goes to Huamushi to have a miscarriage?! I can hear the order number being called!
- Ah, you just don't understand.
- ...What don't I understand?
- Miscarriage! Look it up online. Everyone does it this way.
- Oh, so you know what place this is?
- Of course.
- You do? Then tell me what place it is.
- A little black room.
- Oh, a little black room. Then why did you open the OA system?
- Oh, you don't know?
- I don't. Teach me.
- To ask for leave!
"Is this really right?!"
*
It is right. So very right.
But... who exactly is the Tianjin guy here?!
No one can break the bizarre cycle of an old-school angst novel.
Unless the couple is a Northeastern man and a Tianjin man.
**
Things started getting strange.
Li Xize happily tore off calendar pages one by one, and at last cheerfully completed most of his plot points.
But one day, just before the end...
Li Xize was sitting cross-legged on the bed, calculating how many plot points he still had to get through, when he suddenly retched dramatically.
Li Xize: ?
Wait, what's going on? Why do I feel nauseous?
Before he could think it through, a warm body pressed against his back. A fuzzy head nestled into the crook of his neck, and the CEO, whose every stomp could cause a financial earthquake, drew out his words.
"Baby..."
"I think we really have a baby..."
Couple: A deeply straight Northeastern guy (silent Lin Daiyu, speaking Zhang Fei) bottom x a Tianjin tycoon (silent and aloof, speaking like a comic straight man) top
How about some more feel-good esports stories?
There's also a genuine old-school angst novel. Please check them out, babies! Love you, mwah!
Theme: Gold will always shine
Mayfly
After Retirement, I Returned to the Throne with My Rival
The Universally Hated Father and Son Go Viral on Livestream
After Transmigrating into a Book, the Marshal Shipped Couples So Hard He Turned Himself Gay
Let Me Be Your Scorching Ice [Figure Skating]
After the Tragic Hero Bottom Is Reunited with His Mother
I Use Live-Streamed Literary Classics to Educate the Stars
An Old-School Angsty Romance, But Tianjin Ren Takes on Dongbai Yin
Building a Nation from Scratch
An Alpha's Absurd and Ridiculous Life [OA]
After the Down-and-Out Little God Got a Helping Hand
National Preceptor: It would be better to send them to modern times where the harm would be less
Thinking of Huai Min, he didn't even sleep.
It's already the end, why do you still need to give me a shallow blow!?
Doesn't this prove a sentence of the National Master? Those who have never been in love are actually masters of love.
Thanks for free! The young couple stays together sweetly forever
Wow wow wow I cry to death, a match made in heaven is real!!
Continuation of the article "After the down-and-out little god was targeted for poverty alleviation" Pre-collection of "Thousands of People Think He Quit", "Iron-Blooded Marshal Trains in Children's Comprehensive Training", "Abuse of a Shoujo became popular after being penetrated by his own mother", please bosses to collect it! Qingyuan woke up and found that she was disabled. He is missing an eye, is lame in one leg, cannot speak well, and has incomplete memory. The robes that were once studded with jewels were now reduced to tattered rags. His mind wasn't very clear, and his speech was stumbling. Zeng didn't even have time to explain. Come on, my magical power, which is as wide as the sea, is only a pitiful little bit left. But the confident and happy little god was never discouraged. He slowly blinked his remaining eyes, climbed up with strength, and went down the mountain. Qingyuan was once very familiar with the human world. According to his assumption, even if he is a little depressed now, as long as he shows his divine power, he will soon be believed by people. Then each gets what he needs, he gets strength and people get help. Perfect(*^▽^*) Unfortunately, he forgot that he had slept for too long, and the human world was no longer the same as before. The smooth concrete road and the moving figures on the TV all gave the poor little god a huge impact. He finally mustered up the courage to use his magical power, and was regarded as a female ghost by the villagers. He was regarded as a savage living in the mountains, and was reported as a poor household by the kind-hearted village chief. Qingyuan: QaQ lives with a smile. After thinking about it all night, the little fairy who still felt that he was neither poor nor poor limped to the leader and planned to revoke his quota. Unexpectedly, he tripped over a stone as soon as he entered the door and fell directly into a hard embrace. Wan Xing'an, who was on an inspection trip to the countryside, hugged her tightly as a reflex: Is this a poor household in need of help? Still, quite good at it Wan Xing'an at first: You don't have to do this. Young entrepreneurs must do what they should do. Later Wan Xingan: You may not believe it, but my wife really fell from the sky! Attacking perspective: Ever since Wan Xing'an brought back a beautiful woman from the village, some wonderful changes have taken place in his life. In the middle of the night, I met a fox worshiping the moon, and when I got up early, I met a weasel asking for a seal. The boss next door met a ghost, and his employees became spirits. Wan Xing'an hid in her own little home and closed the door, hugging her little beauty and complaining with lingering fear, "They are not human!" The little beauty in his arms tilted her head, looking confused. "Is it strange? Me neither." Wan Xing'an was stunned for a moment, then hugged him tighter and said affectionately, "It doesn't matter, I love you the same whether you are a human or not." The little beauty was stunned for a moment, and a trace of doubt flashed in her eyes. "Of course." "After all - you are not human either." Warm reminder: 1. Shou was in very bad health at the beginning. He stuttered a bit and was slow to react (beautiful little fool bushi., But he is a god and will get better. 2. Gong is a bit crazy Intention: Comprehensively well-off, no one left behind! Cp: Beautiful, strong and miserable, but with a good attitude, beautiful and big beauty, × Usually my Alaskan wife turns into a Tyrannosaurus rex and attacks her when something happens. Thousands of people dislike: Wen Liang has been a sensible child since he was a child. But being sensible does not mean that he will be liked by others. He was disliked by his grandmother for not being shrewd and smooth, and not as popular as his cousin who was good at dancing. He was also disliked by the bamboo horse he grew up with for being clumsy and clumsy, and not as good as his cousin who has a lotus tongue. Even though he was taken to a banquet, he was rejected by the adults and said, "This kid is too stupid and can't understand any hints." Wen Liang put on a smile and pretended to be cowardly, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get any recognition at all. He can endure it all because he has the best parents in the world. But there was a car accident and the parents were in a coma. In the small and cold ward, there was no nominal relative to visit. Wen Liang is tired. The incompetent boss of the Wen family has completely disappeared in the fame and fortune fair. The remaining Wen family members were holding wine glasses and chewing on this person after tea and dinner. However, they suddenly discovered that at some point, the people they wanted to please were getting further and further away from them. The rising scientific research stars, the star-studded movie kings, and the rising talents in the financial industry began to slowly gather around one person. This person is sincere, passionate and public. Live passionately and beautifully, with lively eyebrows and radiant movements. Vaguely, he looks a bit like... The gentle and kind person who has never received any evaluation except for being sensible. Rabbit: As a somewhat special sadomasochist, Yun Liantu possesses almost all the inconsistent and beautiful qualities in the world. For example, kind, gentle, beautiful, and strong, positive, and eager to learn. He is like a clear lotus emerging from the mud but not stained, and like the moon in the sky. It's a pity that he was born in Yaowen, so the clear lotus was broken and the moon was shattered into mud. He was tortured until he was no longer human, and when he was dying, he opened his blurry eyes and suddenly found that the environment in front of him seemed to have changed, and there was a girl taking off on the same spot. Yun Liantu thought: Oh, I saw an immortal. When he woke up again, he realized that he had not seen an immortal, but his own mother—— The author who wrote him as the protagonist of the sadistic novel is his own mother. Although his mother was ruthless in writing, she was really kind to him. Unfortunately, there was no money, and the mother and son were extremely poor. Fortunately, his mother had great ambitions. She rubbed Yun Liantu's flower-like face and then his hairy ears, and quickly determined the next direction for the mother and son to make money. Two new celebrities suddenly appeared on the live broadcast platform. A newcomer is a good-looking blogger. Every movement and stillness are so beautiful that they don't look like ordinary people. Occasionally, he can get tens of millions of views if he shows off his talent. Another newcomer is a pet blogger. The video of a cute little rabbit like a doll chewing timothy grass and drinking water with its pink tongue stretched out has been viewed hundreds of millions! The general assistant of a certain financial giant watched the video, and then looked at the little rabbit that his boss was kicking in his pocket, which was exactly the same as in the video, and he trembled all over. This, does this count as giving the boss hundreds of millions of cuckolds? When he first heard that there was a rabbit that looked like his own, Lang Yan scoffed. Look the same? The lover in his arms has lost his soul. How could there be a mortal rabbit that looks the same as the moonlight in his heart? They are all ordinary rabbits. Later, Lang Yan stood dejectedly outside his mother's house in the heavy rain, coaxing her in a low voice. "Baby, ask our mother to open the door." "No, just don't let me see you. Just give me back my model. I fought a lot to get it." Marshal: In the last second, Wen Jiyu, the youngest marshal of the Human Federation, was pulling the insect mother to explode, completely ending the insect plague in human history. The next second, the well-known beauty Mumu was reborn in the body of a little cannon fodder with the same name, and her face was covered with a fat boy. The scariest thing is not yet here. The most terrifying thing is... This marshal has no memory of his original body. And the baby's syndrome has already begun!! No matter how stupid the Iron-Blooded Marshal is, he is still an interstellar person. He knows that he has traveled through time. But will the dignified marshal be afraid of a small time travel? With absolute strength, all changes are just paper tigers! Therefore, under the live broadcast, the majority of netizens watched helplessly as Wen Jiyu, known as the "White Lotus Bun", suddenly changed from a fragile porcelain vase to an electronic cannon without any warning. His back is straight, his eyes are firm, he puts efficiency first in everything, he folds the quilt like tofu, and shouts 121 whenever he walks. His eyes, which had always been filled with soft water, turned into a cold light, and a look passed him through the air, causing netizens to feel their calves twisting. Netizen: It's not true. Netizen: ... But it seems to be more interesting. Netizen: Not sure, let's see again!! Qi, who had just read the hot search but didn't make it home in time, raised his forehead and said, "No need to read it." That is my idiot marshal who is full of martial virtue and treats him as the most hated person and his mortal enemy until his death!! It's over, it's too late. Just wait and feel the Marshal's powerful, personal charm. In the last issue of the "Baby Zong", Wen Jiyu put on his sunglasses and watched the baby soldiers forming a square array walking over aggressively, and curled his lips with satisfaction. Then he turned his head and saw a face that disgusted Yu. Wen Jiyu secretly rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses: This dead old fox is still here. The dead old fox Benqi gnashed his teeth: This soul cannot be separated. If it is separated, there will be no wife. Cp: A solid iron lump with a delicate and beautiful appearance, but he only has the strength to train as a soldier (Wen Jiyu) × Even if he tried his best, his wife would self-destruct, and when he met his wife, he would be attacked by an old fox who was half-dead with anger (Qi Ce) Why am I targeting the surname Qi this time... ... Because I always made typos before QAQ
Is this the end?!!! It feels better to be stuck in the middle, unable to move up or down.
Claw The comedian is the national teacher, the great resentment is the national teacher
I feel like the national teacher is very interesting