How to Win Over a Wooden Kitten

[A slow-to-catch-on catlike patron and screenwriter bottom x a scheming, fake-sweet movie-star top] The handsome, rich, generous screenwriter Xiao Jiang is a very considerate sugar daddy. Every young star he's kept has had nothing but good things to say about him. But whenever a relationship ends, Jiang Zhiyan finds himself a little troubled. For some reason, nobody seems able to break things off cleanly with him. “Out of all those people, not one of them made you fall for them?” After witnessing yet another one of Jiang Zhiyan's “breakups,” his friend couldn't make sense of it. Jiang Zhiyan said no. His friend thought for a moment. “Have you noticed that all the people you date actually resemble someone?” Jiang Zhiyan: “Who?” His friend: “Lu Yuqian.” Jiang Zhiyan: “...” He fell silent. Later, those words proved prophetic. After the celebration for his new drama, Jiang Zhiyan woke from a drunken stupor and stared at his chat history, his brain completely stalled. Somehow, while he was out of his mind, he'd actually become the sugar daddy of the person he'd had a crush on as a teenager. * During their arrangement, Lu Yuqian was always considerate and knew his place. Jiang Zhiyan completed the screenplay he was happiest with, then decided, contentedly, to end the relationship. Just like every time before. He'd assumed this time wouldn't be any different, and might even go more smoothly than usual. In Lu Yuqian's heart, this would probably be nothing more than the most absurd chapter in a life full of shining moments. It must have been an indelible stain. ...But could someone please tell him why things weren't going the way he imagined? Pinned against a wall and kissed until he couldn't speak, Jiang Zhiyan wondered helplessly. * Lu Yuqian had never liked anyone before. The day he planned to confess, he couldn't bring himself to say it. Then, the next day, that person transferred schools without a second thought. They had no way to contact each other and never met again. Later, he learned Jiang Zhiyan had gone abroad to study. After graduating, Jiang Zhiyan hadn't taken over the family business. Instead, he'd become a screenwriter. And he'd kept finding young stars to date. At the most prestigious awards ceremony in the entertainment industry, the young man had fair skin, smooth hair, and black-framed glasses perched on his nose. He looked like a college student who hadn't graduated yet, completely out of place amid all the glitz and glamour. The flashes from the crowd below had been going off nonstop ever since Jiang Zhiyan appeared, but he seemed not to hear them. He simply walked quietly onto the stage and accepted, without fuss, an award many screenwriters could strive for their entire lives and never receive. Lu Yuqian sat below, his eyes lowering slightly. So, when would it be his turn? (Click to see the legitimate partner's status, the mistress's tactics, and the courtesan's ways x) [Reader's Guide/Content Warnings] *Both men are completely faithful in body and heart, from beginning to end. Xiao Jiang's arrangement isn't sugar dating in the traditional sense, and Xiao Lu has never had an intimate scene with anyone, even as an actor. These two points will be explained in the story. (A lifetime of striving for clean romance.) *Same-sex marriage is legal in this setting. *The main story subscription costs just 5 yuan. Thank you to everyone willing to support the official release. May fortune smile on you all~ Coming Soon in the Author's Profile "Your Highness, What Do You Intend?": [A fake stepmother who only wants to survive, an idle beauty-lover bottom x a taciturn, gloomy, obsessive, wildly improper prince top] During the holidays, Lin Yizhou was persuaded by his younger cousin to try a palace-intrigue game. At first, he thought it was beneath him. But once he started grinding stats, he got more and more hooked and unknowingly stayed up all night. Then he closed his eyes, opened them again, and found himself lying in an unfamiliar room. Lin Yizhou: ? “You're awake.” Before he could react, an electronic voice suddenly rang sinisterly in his mind. “Palace Heart has logged in. Enjoy your experience.” Lin Yizhou: ???! * To avoid being summoned to the emperor's bed, raise his favorability, and keep himself alive, Lin Yizhou woke up every day thinking about making money. Concubines' invitations, summer outings, and everything else could wait. He was the very picture of careful budgeting. A eunuch came to report that a concubine had died after a long illness, leaving behind a prince in his teens. He asked if Lin Yizhou wanted to adopt him. He shook his head. Raising a child took too many resources. No thanks. ...Then, the moment Lin Yizhou saw the boy, he spent the entire night taking inventory of his storeroom. * By earning rewards, Lin Yizhou thrived in the imperial palace. He got carried away and failed to notice that the child he'd adopted had now grown taller than him. He'd also become less and less talkative, increasingly impossible to read. At first, Lin Yizhou thought the boy was going through a rebellious phase. Until one day, he opened the door and saw Xie Ji sitting at his desk. A half-empty jug of wine was beside him, and his eyes were still rimmed with red. “Mother Consort.” The person who usually stubbornly called him Yizhou had suddenly used this unfamiliar title. Lin Yizhou felt his scalp prickle. Xie Ji stepped forward, forcing him back against the door. A strange sense of foreboding rose in Lin Yizhou. He knew something was very wrong. “Mother Consort,” Xie Ji murmured again, his brows drawn tight. They were so close that this time Lin Yizhou could finally see his eyes. They held a strange, overwhelming obsession. “Why are you my mother consort?” Lin Yizhou: ... Isn't this going a little off the rails? [Mini Theater] Whenever that person came to see him, he brought a gift. Sometimes a calligraphy brush, sometimes an inkstone, sometimes a book, sometimes an inkstone... ...Wait, hadn't he already given him this one? Xie Ji looked across at the young man, his expression complicated. But when he saw him gazing over with a smile, hands cupping his face, and eagerly asking if he liked it, Xie Ji couldn't say a word. He probably gives things to so many people that he can't keep track, Xie Ji thought, his face darkening. ...And so, he received inkstones for three or four days straight. “...” Looking at the three identical brushes and four identical inkstones lined up on the desk, Xie Ji thought, this man really is strange. Theme: Never make decisions when you aren't thinking clearly